Phil Robertson quotes:

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  • I picked ducks in a tub in my dorm room. I'd hang deer in the doorway between the bedroom and the little living room in our little apartment there, and I'd skin my deer, and all the guts would go in the tub, and I'd sneak them out so my fellow students on both sides wouldn't see all that, you know. I'd clean fish up there and all.

  • My message is to get human beings to love God, love their neighbor and for the life of me I just don't see the downside of human beings not being so mean to one another and actually care for one another and not steal from one another and not murder each other for their tennis shoes. That's the message I have.

  • We're trying to infuse a little good into the American culture. Love God, love your neighbor, hunt ducks. Raise your kids, make them behave, love them. I don't see the down side to that.

  • We were so poor as kids. I didn't even see a bathtub, running water, hot water, commode - we didn't have any of that. We started with a humble log house, milk cow, garden-raised our own food, killed a hog every year in the fall, and had the meat hanging up in the smokehouse - that was our childhood, me and ol' Si.

  • Basically, I don't ever move too far past the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus, because it's of first importance. And I make sure it's of first importance with anyone I'm talking to. It all comes down to that, really, when you get right down to it. So it's not complex. Jesus removed our sins and guarantees we can be raised from the dead.

  • I don't use any of the terminology like 'left wing' and 'right wing.' I use language like 'godly' and 'holiness.'

  • Money can come and go, and fame comes and goes. Peace of mind and a relationship with God is far more important, so this is the precedent that we've set in our lives. The bottom line is, we all die, so Jesus is the answer.

  • I've never owned a cell phone and don't plan on ever having one. If anyone needs to talk to me, they know where I live.

  • I told Miss Kay we need to make sure our children don't turn out like I turned out, so they were raised up around biblical instruction. That mixed with discipline - the discipline code, I call it. They just had a lifestyle of seeing their parents do good things.

  • You have to discipline your children, or they won't respect you, law enforcement or God or anyone else.

  • If your woman picks your ducks, and she cooks and carries her Bible... now there's the complete package of womanhood.

  • God says, 'One woman, one man,' and everyone says, 'Oh, that's old hat, that's that old Bible stuff,'" he said. "But I'm thinking, well let's see now. A clean guy - a disease-free guy and a disease-free woman - they marry and they keep their sex between the two of them. They're not going to get chlamydia, and gonorrhea, and syphilis, and AIDS. It's safe.

  • I want my grandkids to grow up in the great outdoors. The last thing I want is for them to grow up to be nerds.

  • We never, ever judge someone on who's going to heaven, hell. That's the Almighty's job.

  • Two of the central ingredients to our family are food and faith, so sitting down together and thanking God for the food He's provided means everything to us. Prayer is a natural part of our lives - not only around the dinner table, but all day long.

  • I have bitten down or swallowed a few pellets through the years. My uncle had his appendix removed and there were over 100 lead pellets in it. He might have died of lead poisoning. Now that is eating a lot of game!

  • If you can find a nice pretty country girl that can cook and carries her bible, now there's a woman.

  • We never, ever judge someone on who's going to heaven, hell. That's the Almighty's job,

  • I make a mean pecan pie, and I have a great recipe for pralines - also using pecans. Pralines take a lot of patience, and patience is a must in the duck blind as well as in the kitchen. Good things come to those who wait.

  • God-fearing people, once they're saved from their sins, they don't mind talking about it.

  • Two of the central ingredients to our family are food and faith, so sitting down together and thanking God for the food He's provided means everything to us. Prayer is a natural part of our lives - not only around the dinner table but all day long.

  • I'm not going to run for political office.

  • Crawfish have ding dongs and vaginas.

  • We would all be better off if we loved God and loved each other.

  • It was about 5 years after I was baptized before the pull of sin finally stopped.

  • Everything is blurred on what's right and what's wrong ... Sin becomes fine. Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men. Don't be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers-they won't inherit the kingdom of God.

  • Better a days catch of fish than a lifetime of crabs.

  • But it also came at a significant cost for human rights, and today's restricted freedom of expression, self-censorship and stunted multi-party democracy.

  • Whether you're talking about bees, dogs, or women, pain can come upon you quickly from either one of em.

  • I guess the GOP may be more desperate than I thought to call somebody like me.

  • It was hard to love my wife and kids because I was all wrapped up in loving only myself. I did what I wanted, when I wanted, without any real concern for them.

  • Everywhere my sons and I go, we're telling people the good news about Jesus, blowing duck calls, and making people, happy, happy- then down the road we go.

  • My mission today is to go forth and tell people about why I follow Christ and also what the Bible teaches, and part of that teaching is that women and men are meant to be together.

  • I never, with my eyes, saw the mistreatment of any black person,

  • Our founding fathers started this country and built it on God and His Word, and this country sure would be a better place to live and raise our children if we still followed their ideals and beliefs.

  • A real man don't call the plumbers. If he gonna call himself a man, he needs to know how to fix it, on the spot

  • Temporary is all you're going to get with any kind of health care, except the health care I'm telling you about. That's eternal health care, and it's free... I've opted to go with eternal health care instead of blowing money on these insurance schemes.

  • Uptown living, you've got to call 911. Where I am, I am 911.

  • Women with whiskers... its a bummer.

  • I would never treat anyone with disrespect just because they are different from me. We are all created by the Almighty, and like Him, I love all of humanity.

  • Carry your Bible and live by it. There's a better chance that you will stay married if that much is true for either one of you - male or female.

  • If I were in politics, and if you ever get me in the White House, trust me, there's a big change coming. What happened to America? We lost our roots.

  • I never, with my eyes, saw the mistreatment of any black person. Not once. Where we lived was all farmers. The blacks worked for the farmers. I hoed cotton with them. I'm with the blacks, because we're white trash.

  • I enjoy almost all of the game we kill. I only like to eat game that I have cleaned. I guess duck and dressing are still one of my favorites. We prefer fat green-winged teal or wood ducks for our dressing.

  • Genesis 9 is where the animals went wild, and God gave them wildness. After the flood, that's when he made animals wild. Up until that time, everybody was vegetarian.

  • I kinda liked ol' Shakespeare and them guys, you know. I went back and got my master's just in case. I thought, if I ever needed it, I'd have the sheepskin to show people no matter how dumb I looked, actually I was about half intelligent. I got the degree to let 'em know I wasn't as dumb as I acted.

  • Actually, most people don't think I have too much sense because I would rather be fairly intelligent and act dumb instead of not having any sense at all and try to act smart.

  • And we debate whether it's a - some woman's right to tear you out of there a piece at a time! C'mon! You have a God-given right to live. And of all places, inside your mother - what in the world happened to us?

  • Fear God. Love your neighbor. And shoot ducks.

  • I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Christ

  • I have a God-given right to pursue happiness, and happiness to me is killing things, skinning them, plucking them, and then having a good meal. What makes me happy is going out and blowing a duck's head off.

  • I love all men and women. I am a lover of humanity, not a hater,

  • I myself am a product of the 60s; I centered my life around sex, drugs and rock and roll until I hit rock bottom and accepted Jesus as my Savior. My mission today is to go forth and tell people about why I follow Christ and also what the Bible teaches, and part of that teaching is that women and men are meant to be together. However, I would never treat anyone with disrespect just because they are different from me. We are all created by the Almighty and like Him, I love all of humanity. We would all be better off if we loved God and loved each other.

  • I repented at 28 and turned to Jesus.

  • I turned from my wicked ways and embraced Jesus. The next thing I knew, good times had come my way.

  • I'm not going askew from the principles on which the United States was built; I'm right there with our founding fathers. I'm a patriot and a Christian, and I'm moving forth with what they started. But now it's gotten to where I'm some kind of nut or Bible beater. I say, so be it. I'll still go across the country spreading God's Word, like I've done since I was twenty-eight. I may be only one man reading Scripture and quotes, carrying his Bible, and blowing duck calls to crowds, but, hey, it has to start somewhere. It's what makes me happy, happy, happy.

  • If men were in charge of carrying and birthing our babies, we'd have a lot fewer people on Earth, because we'd only do it once- I can promise you that!

  • If we lose our morality, we will lose our country. It will happen.

  • If you delve into and a part of the political wars, the - as I would call it, the arguing ad infinitum. It never ends, and very few people I've noticed ever change their mind.

  • If you provide the drive, dream, and vision, with God's help, you can accomplish anything.

  • I'm a low-tech man in a high-tech world.

  • I'm standing under a sign that says, 'Budweiser is king of beers,' and everybody's got their beers here today," I told them. "But I'm here to talk about the King of Kings. I know I might look like a preacher, but I'm not. Here's how you can tell whether someone's a preacher or not: if he gets up and says some words and passes a hat for you to put money in, that's a preacher. This is free. This if free of charge, which proves I'm not a preacher.

  • I've been on this earth for sixty-six years, and I've reached a conclusion and it's a fact: women are strange creatures.

  • Jesus came down in flesh and solved both of them. So for me, my household - I just think that we would all be better off if we loved God and loved each other. At the end of the day you will be happy, happy, happy.

  • Let me tell you something: I salute womanhood worldwide, because women are exceptionally tough for enduring the misery of childbirth. I've cleaned hogs and gutted deer, but in my experience on Earth I've never witnessed such a brutal event.

  • Many have told me through the years: 'I think I'll take my chances without Jesus.' And I always come back and say, 'So what chance is that?'

  • My prayer was always: 'Lord, if You bless me, I'll thank You: but if You don't, I'll be thankful for what I have. I have plenty. I'm in good shape.'

  • Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men.

  • The more make up a woman wears the more she's tryin to hide. Make up can hide a lot of evil.

  • The Singapore judicial system's shameful recourse to using torture - in the form of caning - to punish crimes that should be misdemeanors is indicative of a blatant disregard for international human rights standards, one of the defendants said that sentencing day was the darkest day of his life, but in reality every day that Singapore keeps caning on its books is a dark day for the country's international reputation.

  • There are two kinds of individuals on Planet Earth who do not have beards - women and youth.

  • This would be nice when we baptize people in the winter.

  • Three, four, five years, we're out of here. You know what I'm saying? It's a TV show. This thing ain't gonna last forever. No way.

  • To call me in, I'm thinking I don't own a suit, a ring, a watch, a cellphone. I'm dragging up out of the woods here. You boys must be hard up these days.

  • To me, there is no such thing as a trash duck. There are ducks that are a lot better to eat than other ducks. But a duck is just that.

  • We are all created by the Almighty and like Him, I love all of humanity. We would all be better off if we loved God and loved each other.

  • We're Bible-thumpers who just happened to end up on television. You put in your article that the Robertson family really believes strongly that if the human race loved each other and they loved God, we would just be better off. We ought to just be repentant, turn to God, and let's get on with it, and everything will turn around.

  • When you get older and you start dating, I want you to be able to say one thing, 'I can bait a hook.'

  • Where there is no Jesus, evil always reigns.

  • Whether it was hunting, fishing, or playing sports, my children were going to grow up outside. They weren't going to be sitting on the couch inside. At least they didn't grow up to be nerds.

  • Why do they murder and why do they hate us? Because all of them ... 80 years of history, they all want to conquer the world, they all rejected Jesus and they're all famous for murder. Nazis, Shintoists, Communists and the Mohammedists. Every one of them the same way.

  • Women are a lot like ducks-they don't like mud on their butts.

  • Women with women. Men with men. They committed indecent acts with one another. And they received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion. They're full of murder, envy, strife, hatred. They are insolent, arrogant God haters. They are heartless. They are faithless. They are senseless. They are ruthless. They invent ways of doing evil.

  • I will not give or back off from my path.

  • Kids in America today are overweight and lazy, and it's their parents fault for letting it happen.

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