Pauly Shore quotes:

Sesame Street... I think they were all high. With Big Bird, they had to be high.

I want to have my face look like Brad Pitt. Then I'll be with Jennifer Aniston and then Angelina Jolie. Then the real Brad Pitt will come in, and we'll have a Brad Pitt face-off.

I'm into politics - I'm interested in the election and how pissed off people get.

Few if any teenagers can relate to getting up for school and finding famous comics like Pryor and Williams hanging out in your living room after a hard night of partying. But that's Hollywood.

When you're a kid, all you really care about are Slurpees and Slip N Slide and riding your bike, and that's what I did.

I miss working with great actors, working with great directors.

My mom is two people to me. She's my mom number one, and then she's this lady most comedians know as being a legendary owner of a nightclub that's responsible for starting a lot of heavy careers.

I liked Evel Knievel, and that game Mouse Trap. That was pretty cool.

The public was used to a Pauly Shore film coming out every year or two, you understand? So when that went away, the public lost familiarity with me.

Son-In-Law was kind of my crossover. It was the movie that brought me out of the MTV audience into the mainstream.

Entourage' is a staple L.A.-based show, and people say it's pretty real, and I thought it was. It's an exaggeration of the truth.

When you put yourself out into the world and say, 'Hey, look at me,' you're going to get criticized.

I remember taking mushrooms at the wrap party, it was like the first and last time I took that.

I want to do an 'Extreme Makeover' show. You know that MTV show 'I Want To Have A Famous Face'? Well, I want to do a new show. I want to have a different famous face.

My mom and dad are both in stand-up comedy, so that's where I started, that's where I got everything. My roots are holding the mic.

I was one of the first veejays to take the camera out on location, and that's what was unique about MTV at that time.

I want to show all sides of myself. I mean, I don't want to howl at the moon my whole life, you know?

I miss that process of getting the script and reading it and working on it. Every actor has their own way of memorizing their lines, and the whole process of starting to work with the other actors and the director, and doing rehearsals, and going to the location, and going through wardrobe.

Well, the best part about stand-up is that you control everything. Period. When you work in movies, or on TV shows, there are 50 other people involved. And it's hard, man. They brainwash you to think you're doing the right thing.

I just want to kind of tackle every kind of form that exists in the comedy world; whether it be stand-up or hidden camera or parody. Kind of slap it in a movie with hip-hop artists and actors, comedians and girls. I just want to do something fun.

People should stop poking fun at other people and worry about themselves.

Serious and intense people, they drain you. But someone who's an idiot, like myself, they're fun. You either hate me or you love me.

Death isn't a funny thing. We're all lucky to be living.

I think you gotta look at stuff half-full as opposed to half-empty.

People in bigger towns are very aware of their surroundings. The people in the smaller markets, they will show up with flip-flops and shorts and just kind of already have a buzz on.

When I shot the movie, I wasn't gonna think about anything except for being the biggest knucklehead in the world.

There's nothing wrong with being a pretty girl, because you want to be, desirable. There's nothing wrong with that, but you should have a plan B even if that is getting pregnant by a rich dude.

I giggle when I put myself down. It's just funny to me.

I never made the movies for the critics; I've done the best I could with the material and the directors and the actors I had. But the thing that's really exciting is that once I do that one project that's different, that stands out, everyone's gonna be watching.

I think as a standup performer you have to feel the audience. So the audience kind of dictates what they get, you know?"

Comedy wasn't something I chose - it chose me. I was just inherently funny when I was a kid.

Whenever someone dies everyone says, I love that guy, except for Jeffrey Dahmer.

Even at my peak, I never went too over the top.

Everywhere I go, people know who I am.

I'm not used to getting good reviews.

All these kids in Hollywood, the people born and raised out here, their parents are all in show business, and that's why I think we're good. That's why we're on top of the game now because we were born in it.

America's Most Wanted? I love it when there's a guy in the back seat pounding his head on the plexiglas. That to me is the best.

As an artist, what you do is you put out material constantly. Whether it's films, or TV shows, music... and you know, you hope people respond to it. You always have to know, as well, that not everybody's gonna like it. And that's okay. It's not for everyone. It's just for the crusty nugs.

Comedy wasn't something I chose - it chose me.

Find something that you want to do when you're 60. Find your passion. Your passion, your work, whatever it is that you want to do. Find something that you would do, even if you didn't get paid. Whether it's an art or whether is something that you're passionate about.

Hollywood people don't want to be embarrassed by being involved with someone who isn't happening and cool at the time. But I never made the movies for the critics; I've done the best I could with the material and the directors and the actors I had. But the thing that's really exciting is that once I do that one project that's different, that stands out, everyone's gonna be watching.

I become friends with people in each city who can show me around. Like if someone came to Los Angeles they wouldn't really know where to go, so they'd have to call me up and then I'd show them around.

I fly around with chicks on each arm and have no script. I just talk about what I feel like. But that's why my act works: I'm like this normal guy.

I never got into The Jetsons too much.

I really don't go out every night to red-carpet events.

I'm definitely a lot more comfortable now in my 40s than in my 30s - that's for sure.

I'm Jewish. I've always had a thing where it's okay to dance with the devil, just don't become the devil.

It's in my blood to tour. It's in my blood to get on the road. It's in my blood to go onstage.

My 20s were a time where I made it; my 30s were when I was away, confused, and trying to figure it all out.

My belief is guns don't kill people, people kill people.

My life's like a big tour. It's cool, I'm still semi-young. I'm not too old yet where it's like, "I hate the road!" As long as I'm not anywhere for too long. I like to keep moving.

People should stop poking fun at other people and worry about themselves. The reality is that my movies all have made money.

Physically, my character is stronger than him which is totally unrealistic, ... Because in reality he can ... kill me. I think it has a lot to do with (him being) the youngest of all of his brothers, and I think he got beat up a lot.

Small towns seem to appreciate things a little bit more. They're less jaded and they're more kind of authentic and more themselves and they don't care as much.

That's the biggest rule in Hollywood: Don't spend your own money.

The Comedy Store attracts all types of people, growing up I was able to meet them all.

The MTV thing is the thing that I will always tip my hat to because that was like my acting class and how I got comfortable in front of a camera and how I kind of created my own thing.

There's a lot of people out there who didn't like my style of comedy.

When you're onstage, it's important to try and feel some type of therapy in getting the material out, because then you don't leave the stage so tired. If you're onstage and you're doing the same routine over and over, then it gets monotonous. You want to be able to try to get to the truth constantly, and I think the more you do that, the easier it is.

You don't have to be inspired by comedians. You have to be inspired by things that are real, whether it's music, comedy...a movie - that should inspire you.

You have to go away to come back. That's just normal. That's with bands, actors, comedians, everything.

You'd think when you saw my old MTV stuff that I was always drunk and high and all that stuff. I wasn't.

I kind of was raised at The Comedy Store by comedians. When you see my dad on stage before me and then you see me, you'll see where I got a lot of my stuff.

I think as a standup performer you have to feel the audience. So the audience kind of dictates what they get, you know?