Paul Dickson quotes:

Accuracy, Rule of, Corollary: Provided, of course, that you know there is a problem.

May you look back on the past with as much pleasure as you look forward to the future.

Abrams's Advice: When eating an elephant, take one bite at a time.

The more innocuous the name of a weapon, the more hideous its impact. Some of the most horrific weapons of the Vietnam era were named 'Bambi', 'Infant', 'Daisycutter', 'Grasshopper', and 'Agent Orange'. Nor is the trend new: from the past we have 'Mustard Gas'', 'Angel Chasers' (two cannonballs linked with a chain for added destruction) and 'The Peacemaker' to name but a few.)

Allen's Law of Civilization: It is better for civilization to be going down the drain than to be coming up it.

Advice, First Law of: The correct advice to give is the advice that is desired.

A system tends to grow in complexity instead of simplicity, until the resulting unreliability becomes intolerable.

Airplane Law, The: When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time.

The odds are six to five that the light in the end of the tunnel is the headlight of an oncoming train.

The great comfort of turning 49 is the realization that you are now too old to die young.

Abbott's Admonitions: (1) If you have to ask, you're not entitled to know. (2) If you don't like the answer, you shouldn't have asked the question.

A businessman needs three umbrellas - one to leave at the office, one to leave at home, and one to leave on the train.

A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.

Albrecht's Law: Social innovations tend to the level of minimum tolerable well being.

All real programs contain errors until proved otherwise which is impossible.

Don't bite the hand that has your allowance in it.

In any decision situation, the amount of relevant information available is inversely proportional to the importance of the decision.

No experiment is ever a complete failure. It can always be used as a bad example.

The great comfort of turning forty-nine is the realization that you are now too old to die young.

The human hand is made complete by the addition of a baseball.