Nicole Hollander quotes:

Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out.

Most of us are animal lovers. We insist that we love all animals equally - the hamster, the weasel, and the zebra - but if pressed, we will admit to being either a cat person or a dog person.

Hi, this is Sylvia. I'm not at home right now, so when you hear the beep ... hang up.

Can you envision a world without men? No wrongdoing and bunches of euphoric, chubby women.

We all know how cats feel about traveling in a car. You never see a cat with his head out the window, fur flying in the breeze. A cat is never anyone's designated driver.

In the future we'll all have 15 minutes of fame and 15 minutes of healthcare.

Getting old in America ... best to do it somewhere else.

Mercy, it's the revolution and I'm in my bathrobe!

Dogs are joiners; if they were guys, their idea of a good time would be to attend an Elks luncheon ...

My weight is always perfect for my height - which varies.