Nick Hancock quotes:

According to Ferguson, grey things are invisible. Apparantly its just total luck that planes manage to find aircraft carriers in the middle of the ocean.

What I don't understand about mobile homes is that you have a mobile place to live, you park it, and you never move it again. That's like buying a Sony Walkman, and nailing it to your hi-fi.

When Peter Beardsley appears on television, daleks hide behind the sofa.