Michael Feldman quotes:

I don't think anybody should do what they do in hopes of being successful. But I always expect myself to be successful at things. And if I'm not, I feel bad. I don't care for failure. I've failed at a number of things, and it's not my favorite state of mind. So I prefer success.

I tell people my only successful long-term relationship was with Jim Packard. He was my rock. I didn't realize how codependent I was.

The average married man lives two thousand and five days longer than his single counterpart, albeit with less reason.

When I was a kid, I hated being talked to as a kid. I don't know if all kids feel that way, but I seem to remember awful things in the crib, something like people doing baby talk in the crib and sticking their big, fat faces in there and scaring me. So I always talk to kids as if they were a person.

I really like Wisconsin. I enjoy it. I enjoy the people. I enjoy the fact that it's not L.A. or New York. And there's some sense of normalcy here - people having children in homes they can somewhat afford to live in.

I was always a fan of Groucho Marx as a kid.

I've always admired the kind of guy who moves into a place and restores it. Thanks to my efforts, the guy who moves into mine will have a chance to do just that.

It's not just dead men who tell no tales. Live ones don't have much to say for themselves, either.