Lia Habel quotes:

Dead folks use plastic! When in doubt, throw it out! Please use the bathroom appointed for your gender and mortality!

The air currents must have steered me wrong, for I ended up far off course, and by "far off course" I mean "headed in the opposite direction entirely."

I walked to the table and picked it up, doing as he asked. And then it struck me that I was setting a so-called zombie's alarm clock for him, and I swear I heard something snap in my ears. I started laughing uproariously.I heard the monster's bemused voice outside, asking me if I was alright, but that just made it funnier.