Kyle Smith quotes:

The movies are celluloid hemorrhoids. No, worse: They're celluloid Bon Jovi.

Donald Trump didn't just throw out the playbook, he set fire to it. And America loved it.

The good news is that The Hangover Part III isn't a rerun like the second episode. The bad news is everything else. For all the promise of mayhem and WTF moments, the final episode hits you with all the force of a warm can of O'Doul's.

None of us could believe what Trump was doing - because no one had ever seen anyone do it that way before.

The characters are so flat and the dialogue so dull you expect it to be one of those movies whose existence is justified by a big final twist. But it's three days after the screening, and still no twist. Maybe it's coming in the mail?