Kristin Walker quotes:

Amanda doesn't hate you. She's jealous of you.What? Todd listen. Drugs are bad, buddy. You shouldn't do them first thing in the morning. Wait until after lunch at least.

Todd came toward me with the squad trailing behind him like a street gang of angry thugs with breasts.

If I was Todd's wife in real life, I'd have to kill myself. Okay, maybe I'm being a bit melodramatic. I wouldn't kill myself. But I'd definitely turn lesbian, at the very least.

Now, I want you to look at each other. Really look. And then I'd like you to each say something positive about the other person. Now Todd, you go first.Todd eye balled me up and down.She appears to have all her teeth.OOh, good one,Todd, I cooed,then turned to maggie and smiled sweetly And Todd smells very little like a pile of goat crap.

Around here news travels faster than mono, and by the end of the day, the whole school had heard about Todd's and my standoff with Principal Miller and Maggie Klein. By the time the story circulated and came back around to me, I had apparently bitch-slapped Maggie Klein and then tongued Todd in front of Principal Miller.Oh, and Mom was a former showgirl in an all-gay revue.

You know, if you're going to stalk someone, you should be less obvious. For starters, try not to standing in the middle of a field, gawking at your prey.