Jonathan Ross quotes:

More action packed than a Cardiff pub with Anne Robinson.

Look at Abi Titmuss. This year she's been tied to more bed posts than David Blunkett's guide dog.

Fortunately, this is not something that we see a lot of. Very rarely do you see a dog in this terrible shape from starvation. People just aren't that cruel.

It's not whether you win or lose, it's how many people remember you when you die.

Hollywood - it's either people who are unhappy or soon will be.