John Swartzwelder quotes:
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They can kill the Kennedys. Why can't they make a cup of coffee that tastes good?
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I try to maintain a positive attitude at all times, because clients notice little things like that, and if you're frowning and crying all the time and saying "why? why?", they get worried.
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If you can take advantage of a situation in some way, it's your duty as an American to do it.
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I'm 190 pounds of rock hard muscle, underneath 40 pounds of sturdy protective fat.
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I made a circular motion with my finger around my temple to indicate I thought this guy was crazy, forgetting that there was no one in the room to see this circular motion except him. He saw it and frowned.
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As my exciting story began I was being punched in the stomach.
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I'll flush a copy of my bill down the toilet. You should be getting it in a couple of days.