Joe Pesci quotes:

Scorsese and De Niro taught me to bring out the natural side of myself. And they taught me to think of myself as the average guy. Sometimes the average guy belongs in a role more than your matinee idol-type of person. We have to have people we can relate to.

Did Mad freakin' Max just call me irritating?

I dyed my hair blonde in that movie, so my head doesn't match my grill.

I'm just some lunatic macaroni mushroom, is that it?

You try too hard. Winners forget they're in a race. They just love to run.

Sure, mom, I settle down with a nice girl every night, then I'm free the next morning.

You don't say hello to Mr. DeNiro? Show the respect, will ya?

I've been married three times, but I'll never forget my first trip as a young man, on my honeymoon, with my new wife.

My father loved me so much that he did not want me to be a laborer or anything. I don't know if it's the right thing to do - push your kids into something and then stay on them until they do it. Let them pick what they want to do.

You know why you hate me so much, Jeffery? Because I look the way you feel.

A winner forgets he's in a race, he just loves to run.

Ah, I don't do interviews, really.

I couldn't get any jobs, and when that happens, you get so humble it's disgusting. I didn't feel like a man anymore -- I felt really creepy. I was bumping into walls and saying, Excuse me.

I love to star in movies, but I want to have good roles. It doesn't help to get starring roles in something that's no good. I mean, that will just kill you.

You win, you win. You lose, you still win.

I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown?

Women, aren't they perfect? It doesn't matter if they're fat, skinny, blond, or blue. If a woman is willing to give you her love, Harvard, it's the greatest gift in the world. Makes you taller, makes you smarter, makes your teeth shine. Boy-oh-boy women are perfect, perfect joy and perfect ache. Joy when you first meet them and get to know them. Ache when you leave them. Joy. Ache. Joy. Ache. Joyachejoyachejoyachejoyache.

My father loved me so much that he did not want me to be a laborer or anything. I dont know if its the right thing to do - push your kids into something and then stay on them until they do it. Let them pick what they want to do.