Jean Chatzky quotes:

Resilience isn't a single skill. It's a variety of skills and coping mechanisms. To bounce back from bumps in the road as well as failures, you should focus on emphasizing the positive.

I'm big on setting goals, but I also think that if you have too many lofty ambitions and set goals for everything, you can sabotage your efforts by overextending your brain.

To bring down your credit card balances, write down the benefits of reducing your debt. No more gnawing feeling that you're throwing money away, perhaps. More money flowing to other financial objectives. Then consult the list when you have doubts.

If you're just starting out in the workforce, the very best thing you can do for yourself is to get started in your workplace retirement plan. Contribute enough to grab any matching dollars your employer is offering (a.k.a. the last free money on earth).

While you're going through this process of trying to find the satisfaction in your work, pretend you feel satisfied. Tell yourself you had a good day. Walk through the corridors with a smile rather than a scowl. Your positive energy will radiate. If you act like you're having fun, you'll find you are having fun.

Wills are trumped by legal titles to real estate or beneficiary designations on financial accounts, retirement plans and insurance policies.

There's a laundry list of reasons why not to borrow from your 401(k). While the money is on loan, it's not working for you - and if you leave your job, you'll have to pay it back in 60 days or treat it as a taxable withdrawal.

Whether it's fly-fishing, taking your camper to the Everglades, or just traveling, everyone has got a little retirement dream.

Too often, we make budget cuts - then blow the savings. Instead, think about your financial picture. Do you have high-interest rate debt? Paying it off faster will save you a bundle.

Web banking lets you monitor your spending, tweak your budget, schedule payments, and more, particularly if you marry your online bank with the personal-finance management tools available online.

After two decades of personal finance reporting, I've heard every excuse in the book for not saving money. That said, none of them really hold up - at least over the long term.

If you haven't gotten a raise in the past couple years for a job well done, it might be time to ask for one.

The wealthy are confident in their abilities to overcome bad situations - on the job, in their personal lives, with their finances. Many have triumphed over dismal financial starts. And, unlike most of the population that hops from job to job, career to career, the wealthy are much more likely to stick with what they start.

By working toward a financial objective, you'll start to see the money add up for retirement or the credit card balance go down. But it doesn't have an immediate impact on your day-to-day life, and when it does - like when you're pinching pennies to save more - the immediate impact could feel negative.

Debt certainly isn't always a bad thing. A mortgage can help you afford a home. Student loans can be a necessity in getting a good job. Both are investments worth making, and both come with fairly low interest rates.

Being charitable provides a boost to your psyche that is tough to replicate in any other way. But note that although any charity will happily take your money, you can give in other ways and still reap the same happiness reward. Volunteering and donating your old or unused belongings have the same result.

You'll get the biggest bang for each buck by paying off the highest interest rate debt in your portfolio first, while making minimum payments on the remainder. It's called the avalanche method, and it gets you out of debt cheapest and fastest.

Every minute you spend looking through clutter, wondering where you put this or that, being unable to focus because you're not organized costs you: time you could have spent with family or friends, time you could have been productive around the house, time you could have been making money.

By the time most people file for bankruptcy, their credit is already trashed, they have a high debt-to-income ratio - a key indicator lenders look at - and they've likely defaulted on more than a few accounts.

If your appraisal comes back too low - you don't have at least 10% equity for a conforming loan or 20% for a jumbo loan - you might not be able to refinance at all, at least with a loan that's packaged and sold to Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. That means you may have to pay a much higher rate.

You can refi your car loan just like you can refi your mortgage. It's even easier and less expensive. There's no appraisal process, and fees are minimal for a new car title. A couple of caveats: Most lenders require that the car be less than five years old and have a minimum loan balance of $7,500.

When you're setting up a budget, a general rule is to start with your fixed expenses - your housing and insurance payments, and car payment, if you own one.

Most credit cards provide some sort of protection against a defective purchase, and with gold or platinum cards, you'll often get double the manufacturer's warranty. You're also not immediately out your own money if something goes wrong.

At the time of my second marriage, my husband was in his early 50s, I was in my mid-40s, and we each had two kids. We maintained our individual accounts and opened one for the house. We each kick the same percentage of our incomes into the house account and have a joint credit card. But we pay for our children separately.

Automate your savings so that you have money taken directly from each paycheck and deposited into a 401(k) or other workplace retirement account. If that's not an option, automatically have money transferred out of checking into savings each time you get paid.

In a relationship where finances are shared, it's important that both people know what's going on. If one spouse likes being the family accountant, it's fine for that person to take the lead, but the other spouse shouldn't be in the dark.

Garnishments tend to happen when people hide from their debts and stop making even minimum payments. Eventually, creditors sell the debt to a collection agency.

Your retirement comes before your children's tuition. That's because there's no financial aid for retirement, and there's still a good deal available for college.

If you want to give a tangible present, but you know the recipient wants cash, give a little bit of both. This strategy is helpful for occasions that involve a public opening of presents, like a bridal or baby shower. You can give something that can be wrapped and opened, along with a card containing a check.

You may be basing a portion of your self-worth on your bank account without even realizing it. Try to pinpoint the activities and qualities that, free of charge, fulfill you.

Older couples bring obligations such as support payments and debt as well as decades of financial experience to a marriage.

You can cut the fat from your spending: Stop taking taxis, call your cable company and ask for the same deal new subscribers get, have dinner at home and then a drink out instead of a $100 meal with wine.

Turning a blind eye to your finances always brings trouble. When you let the bills or late notices stay in their envelopes, you're making matters worse. When you finally have to deal with the problem - believe me, you will eventually - it will be exaggerated because you didn't take action.

Women take fewer financial risks than men do, but not because we're wusses. Both sexes secrete the hormone oxytocin in stressful situations, but women secrete more of it, which helps us stay calmer.

People who are passionate about what they do reach financial comfort and wealth more often than those who are not. That argues for doing one of two things. Finding your passion and pursuing it. Or becoming passionate about what you're already pursuing.

Many of us, if pressed, would admit that we'd prefer a cash gift to another pair of pajamas or bestselling novel. But giving the green can make even the best of us uncomfortable - the etiquette is confusing, and those who relish picking out the perfect something can miss some of the fun.

I love a hotel that offers Wi-Fi Internet access, especially if it's free. But I never access sensitive information, like my bank account or an online shopping site that stores my credit card information, on a public Wi-Fi connection.

One way to make sure you don't lose assets in the future is to streamline your accounts. Consider using one bank for all your banking needs and one brokerage firm for all your investments.

For most, the largest asset is their home. This becomes a sentimental issue, I know, but if you're holding on to a home that you can no longer afford - or you need the liquidity - you need to think about solutions. One might be to bring in a tenant or roommate; a more drastic measure is to sell the home and downsize.

Knowing where you stand in your quest to accumulate enough money for retirement is an incredibly important part of the planning process.

Anything past 90 days constitutes 'severe,' but all late payments stay on your report for seven years if reported.

July is high burglary season because so many people leave town. To help avoid making that obvious, suspend your newspaper subscription and have your mail held. Another clear indication is if all your lights are off for an extended period. To fix that, you can buy a timer for about $30.

Weak passwords are a crook's best friend. Make yours long and complex, and change them often - not just on your bank account but on your email and social media, too.

Face your financial issues head on. Open your bills, pick up the phone, call your lender. If applicable, tell them you're struggling and explain why. If you lost your job or took a pay cut, be ready to prove it.

If you work in a home office, you can likely write off that space, as long as you use it only for work.

When something you use again and again is on sale, take advantage. This strategy doesn't apply to perishable items, and you don't want to buy so much more than you need just to get a deal, but if you know you're going to use a product eventually, it pays to take advantage of the cheaper price.

Generally, there are three rules when it comes to borrowing money: You need to have good credit, proof of income and cash for a down payment. Most people have the first two, but it's the third that trips them up. And nowhere does that come into play more than the mortgage market.

Use an accountant the first time you file your taxes after becoming a freelancer. It will be worth it.

Getting a tax refund is nice, but having more money year-round is better. If you get a chunk of change from the IRS, you're giving the government an interest-free loan - not something they, or any bank, would ever give you. Instead, change your withholding so you get a little extra in each paycheck.

In money, and in life, you are very often your own worst enemy. You promise yourself you're going to diet, then eat not one or two French fries but a whole plate. You decide to really commit to saving for retirement, only to wind up with a new pair of shoes in your closet.

If you decide you need a secured card, use it to charge small items every month, then pay the balance off in full. If your credit score improves, and the bank doesn't offer to upgrade your card within 12 to 18 months, give them a call. If they refuse, try another lender.

Joining finances can be tricky. Money has long topped the list of topics couples fight about.

Couples that do save have stronger, more stable, less stressful unions. In other words, you don't want to be fighting about saving; you just want to be saving, period.

Use visual cues to prompt yourself to put away more. A photograph of the beach house where you and your husband can envision spending your retirement will remind you to bump up the contribution to your 401(k); a snapshot of your child in a college sweatshirt can encourage you to put more into a 529 college savings plan.

If you live in a yard sale kind of neighborhood - in good weather, most neighborhoods are crawling with them on weekends - do a sweep to see what the competition is charging. No one is going to buy your $7 book if they can get it down the block for $1.

Optimism is an expectation that good things are going to be plentiful. The wealthy generally have the sense that life will bring good rather than bad outcomes. That doesn't mean they believe that good things will be omnipresent, but that they will outnumber the not-so-good.

Just because someone will lend money to you doesn't mean you should borrow it.

Unlike other loans, a reverse mortgage doesn't have to be repaid until the borrower moves out of the home or passes away.

Embrace your fire - even in hard times. A down economy can actually be a great time to start a business.

If you're not clipping coupons before going to the grocery store, you're overspending. If you're ordering in or going out to dinner because you don't feel like cooking, you're overspending. If you're not tracking where your money is going, you're very likely overspending.

People with financial plans are much more likely to feel prepared, even in tumultuous times. They're more likely to feel that their dreams and goals are secure. And, oh yes, they do actually save significantly more.

Nontraditional students often have the misconception that aid is intended only for high school students entering college. Luckily, that's not the case.

No purchase is so urgent, no bargain so rare, that you don't have time to research it thoroughly, despite what they might have you believe. This applies, in particular, to infomercials that urge you to 'Call now, while supplies last,' or 'Call in the next 10 minutes for a free gift.'

One of my rules is: If it's good for the planet, it's usually good for your wallet.

It doesn't help to follow every rise and fall of your portfolio. It's better to tune out the day-to-day shifts, in fact. But getting a handle on the larger picture will make you feel more secure, and that goes a long way in calming your fear.

I give out similar advice all the time: Take a month to write down where your money is going. By the end, you'll have a road map that tells you where you can cut back.

It's not exactly a big surprise that women mature earlier than men do. As a result, they tend to display better judgment, particularly when it comes to money.

These days, checks are direct-deposited, money comes out of a machine in the wall, and we swipe a plastic card to make a purchase. In other words, your kids can grow up thinking money comes in an endless supply if you don't show them otherwise.

Anticipating a boomerang child seems the odds-on thing to do. Think about furnishing - hello, sleeper sofa - with this in mind.

Whether you're replacing one appliance that's seen better days, or many because you're moving or renovating, you probably know to look for the Energy Star label. That's good advice.

Secured cards can be helpful credit rebuilding tools for two reasons. First, because of the collateral, you can get them at a time when you're not likely to be approved for nonsecured cards. And as long as you maintain an on-time payment history, they can help you start to build a recent credit history that's fairly pristine.

While it's true a small treat won't blow your budget, indulging every day could - the same way a slice of cake probably won't hurt but, if you make it a daily habit, you may have trouble fitting in your pants.

You could lose hundreds or thousands one day on paper and gain it all back the next, and it has literally no effect on your immediate future, provided the money you have in the market is money you're investing for the long haul (meaning at least three to five years).

If salary is your most important consideration, make sure you don't take too much time off beyond the allotted 12-14 weeks of maternity leave - and certainly don't leave altogether.

Once you're retired and are no longer counting on earned income to live on and supplement your nest egg, you're done with disability insurance. At that point, though, the need for long-term care insurance - which protects you from spending that nest egg too fast - takes over.

Eliminating or substantially lowering just one major monthly expense can give you enough cushion to move into a more comfortable place financially.

There are two things that you need to save for. First, you need an emergency cushion of no fewer than six months of living expenses. This needs to be cash in a liquid account where you can get at it in - yes - an emergency if you need it. In other words, money markets, not CDs. You also need to save for your future: that means retirement.

If you have had the same dishwasher for 10 years or more, don't bother repairing it. The average dishwasher is expected to last nine years, and you've most likely squeezed as much life out of it as you can.

No one anticipates divorce when they're exchanging vows, and it can be devastating emotionally and financially. To ease the financial side of the blow, you need to maintain your financial identity in your relationship. That means having your own credit history - you need your own credit card - and your own savings and retirement accounts.

Show your kids that needs and wants are two different things. The best way to teach our kids to be smart consumers - and savvy savers - is to model good behavior for them.

The older you are when you buy an annuity, the shorter your life expectancy will be - so the greater a monthly paycheck the same sum of money will buy you. When interest rates are higher, the size of the paycheck for the same sum of money will rise also.

I've never met a budget that I couldn't coax a few extra dollars from - and I'll bet that you can do the same. For instance, you're probably buying more minutes and more cable channels than you use. Oh, and how many black skinny jeans do I count in your closet? You have enough money, just the wrong priorities.

Put all of your savings on autopilot, and you won't likely notice the missing cash.

Buy experiences, not things. Spending on experiences makes people happier than spending on things. Things get broken and go out of style. Experiences get better every time you talk about them.

You can have a do-over starting today. But you have to get over the feeling that it's too late

It's not about having it all. It's about having what you value most.

Get your friends involved. Let your shopping buddies know that you're on a tight budget, and they can help you out when your willpower starts to weaken at the mall.

A little personality goes a long way.

By definition, saving - for anything - requires us to not get things now so that we can get bigger ones later.

Don't let the fact that you're spending time getting organized result in late fees on your credit card bills.

After explaining why you're in trouble, ask the creditor if the company would be willing to accept a smaller amount. Start negotiations at about 30% of the total amount due, with the end goal of paying 50%.

In most cases, if you've gotten to this point, you've already received a letter or phone message from your creditor with the name and extension of a representative. If you haven't, you can call the toll-free number on your bill, but keep in mind that the person who answers may not have the power to negotiate a settlement. Ask to speak to someone who is either a supervisor or in the settlement department, if the creditor has one (as many do).

You need a clear, legitimate excuse for why you're behind [the bankruptcy], such as a layoff, divorce, or medical emergency. Be prepared to back up the circumstances with supporting documents. Anything you have to substantiate your story - including proof that you have, for instance, been actively looking for a new job - will help.

You fall a bit behind on a credit card bill, your interest rate soars, your minimum payment rises, and you start falling more and more behind every month. You don't see an end. But you don't want to file bankruptcy either. What you can do - and should do - is negotiate.

No company can promise an end date, but if you have multiple debts, the first one should be settled within a year.

If you're filing bankruptcy, you will likely want to hire an attorney. But for debt settlement, a company is sufficient, or as I said, you can often do the legwork on your own.

You settled a debt instead of paying in full will stay on your credit report for as long as the individual accounts are reported, which is typically seven years from the date that the account was settled. Unlike with bankruptcy, there isn't a separate line on your credit report dedicated to debt settlement, so each account settled will be listed as a charge-off.

If you are able to settle, you'll be getting off rather easy. Debt settlement companies can sometimes get you off the hook for a large percentage of your debt - in many cases, up to 50% will be written off.

Unless you have multiple accounts that you need to negotiate and you think the project is just too big to tackle on your own, you're better off just calling your creditors directly.

You really don't need to hire a debt settlement company to negotiate with your creditors.

If you have even a smidgen of doubt that you'll be able to stay away from racking up additional debt, don't do it.

You must be sure - and I mean absolutely positive - that you have the willpower to pay off those credit cards and not use them again.

If you are, consolidating at a lower interest rate can help you pay off your debt faster. But if there's even a small chance that you'll spiral back into debt, it's not for you.

Even in the days of the tightest credit in 2008, HELOCs [ home equity line of credit ] and home equity loans were being made.

The interest rate you receive, however, is contingent on your credit score.

Turn down offers for new cards or credit line increases on your current cards. Credit's tight, and chances are, you're not getting many offers anyway. But if you do, remember that the less credit you have available, the less trouble you can get into.

Take the cards out of your wallet. A debit card is accepted just about everywhere that credit cards are, and you'll be spending money you have - always a good thing.

Pay cash. For some reason, it's harder for people psychologically to part with their cash than it is to swipe a card. Maybe it's the act of physically seeing the money change hands, or maybe it's because you don't want to break a $20 for a $2 cup of coffee.

You won't be caught off guard and you won't feel guilty, because you'll be spending money that you've allocated for the occasion.

Save for your goals. Take note of what's coming your way - vacations, the holidays, what ever is going to cost you money - and start saving ahead of time so that you have a stash when the time comes.

In fact, the bigger the bill, the less likely you are to spend it. If you want to really save money, spend only cash and carry only fifty-dollar bills.

In about one-third of credit card consolidations, within a short period of time, the cards come back out of the wallet, and in no time at all, they're charged back up. Then you're in an even worse position, because you have the credit card debt and the consolidation loan to worry about. You're in a hole that's twice as deep - and twice as steep.

When you default on a secured debt, the creditor takes the asset that backs up that debt. When you convert credit card debt to mortgage debt, you are securing that credit card debt with your home. That's a risky proposition.

If you default on an unsecured debt, you won't lose anything (except points on your credit score).

If you'd asked me a few years ago about debt settlement companies, I probably would have told you to avoid them.

The Bankruptcy Reform Act of 2005 made it harder for individuals to file bankruptcy, which is always the last resort. Unfortunately, simultaneously consumers racked up so much debt that counseling companies - which are higher up on my list if you need help managing your debt - are sometimes unable to help. So if you fall into this camp, debt settlement may be something to consider.

The debt settlement company will direct you to stop paying your creditor and instead send the money directly to them each month. The company's goal is to demonstrate to your creditor that you don't have the money to pay up - that's your leverage. After a few months, the company will typically go to the creditor and say, "I'm holding X dollars on behalf of your customer. He doesn't have the money to pay you, so you should take this amount as a settlement or you'll end up with nothing." If the creditor wants to get paid badly enough, it will take the money.

Sometimes a creditor is willingto do this as a bargaining point - you give the creditor cash in hand, it gives you a positive listing on your credit report - even though you haven't paid the full amount. Get this agreement in writing.

One thing I want to make clear: You never want to hide from your debts. It doesn't work.

You'll get much better results by being upfront, answering creditors calls, and responding to their letters. Delaying the inevitable only digs a deeper hole.