Jake Johannsen quotes:

A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket. 'You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' she sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have kill you too.

If love was easy, there would be almost no music.

Yes. I didn't think there were any witnesses, so I guess I'll have to kill you too.

People honk at you if you meditate at the stop light.

Never put a razor inside your nose - even as a joke.