Jacob Braude quotes:

Most of these love triangles are wrecktangles.

The bad things you can see with one eye closed. But keep both eyes wide open for the little things. Little things mark the great dividing line between success and failure.

Junior was being chided for his low grades. Little Robert, who lived a few doors away, was held up as an example. "Robert doesn't get C's and D's does he?" asked his father. "No," Junior admitted, "but he's different. He has very bright parents".

Bigamy is two rites that make a wrong.

Thanksgiving, to be truly Thanksgiving, is first thanks, then giving.

You know you're getting older when you don't care where your wife goes, just so you don't have to go along.

The surest way to get a job done is to give it to a busy man. He'll have his secretary do it.

No woman is likely ever to be elected President - they never reach the required legal age.

Marriage is like a violin. After the beautiful music is over, the strings are still attached.

The ultimate in wisdom is to live in the present, plan for the future and profit from the past.

Whoever you are, there is some younger person who thinks you are perfect. There is some work that will never be done if you don't do it. There is someone who would miss you if you were gone. There is a place that you alone can fill.

There is no way to catch a snake that is as safe as not catching him.

If a thing goes without saying -- let it.

By the time a man can afford to lose a golf ball, he can't hit that far.

There's no fool like an old fool --- you can't beat experience.

A vacation should be just long enough that your boss misses you, and not long enough for him to discover how well he can get along without you.

Only uncomfortable chairs become antiques - the comfortable ones are worn out by hard use.

All work and no plagiarism makes a dull speech.