Ian Kelsey quotes:

Besides, old ladies are always right. That's how they get to be so old. It's one of those things.

You see, deep down beneath my superficial and shallow exterior, I'm really very superficial and shallow.

You said love, I say chemical imbalance.

Oh, what a better way to express your love than a plasticbag full of air.

My sense of romance stretches a little further than a barrage balloon.

Well, maybe I'm not so emotionally dysfunctional after all.