Fanny Brice quotes:

Esther Williams? Wet, she's a star. Dry, she ain't.

Let the world know you as you are, not as you think you should be, because sooner or later, if you are posing, you will forget the pose, and then where are you?

Wrong is for other people.

Personal beauty is a greater recommendation than any letter of reference.

Anyone who can't say blank is deceitful.

Being a funny person does an awful lot of things to you. You feel that you mustn't get serious with people. They don't expect it from you, and they don't want to see it. You're not entitled to be serious, you're a clown.

Love is like a card trick. After you know how it works, it's no fun any more.

Your audience gives you everything you need. They tell you. There is no director who can direct you like an audience.

Without love it is like having a good song without an audience.

Affectation is a very good word when someone does not wish to confess to what he would none the less like to believe of himself.

You think beautiful girls are going to stay in style forever? I should say not! Any minute now they're going to be out! Finished! Then it'll be my turn!

No law against waiting," I said, "people do it all the time." For once, I didn't say too much, I didn't say too little, I said just what I said and then walked.

Being a funny person does an awful lot of things to you. You feel that you mustn't get serious with people. They don't expect it from you, and they don't want to see it. You're not entitled to be serious, you're a clown, and they only want you to make them laugh.

I never liked the men I loved and never loved the men I liked.

Men always fall for frigid women because they put on the best show.

I'm a bad woman, but I'm damn good company.

Let the world know you as you are, not as you think you should be.

I'm a bagel on a plate full of onion rolls!

I never liked the men I loved, and never loved the men I liked.

I've done everything in the theatre except marry a property man.

When love is out of your life, you're through in a way. Because while it is there it's like a motor that's going, you have such vitality to do things, big things, because love is goosing you all the time.

I come out before an audience and maybe my house burned down an hour ago, maybe my husband stayed out all night, but I stand there. ... I got them with me, right there in my hand and comfortable. That's my job, to make them comfortable, because if they wanted to be nervous they could have stayed home and added up their bills.

For ten thousand dollars, I'd endorse an opium pipe.

Any woman who can't say a four-letter word sometimes is deceitful.