Charles Willeford quotes:

I can't see any point to hanging around a Burger King all day, no matter how much money you make. .... I'll tell you why. Your life would depend on the random desires of people who wanted a hamburger. So you can just forget about Burger King.

Just tell the truth, and they'll accuse you of writing black humor.

I'm not going to ruin my movie because of some stupid ruling that it has to be ninety minutes long. That's just like adding three more plates to the last supper, or an extra wing to the Pentagon.

The Filipino houseboy was conscious now

No whiskey, no religion, nothing.

Nothing human surprises me.

My work is one long triumph over my limitations.