Charles Farrar Browne quotes:

I have already given two cousins to the war and I stand ready to sacrifice my wife's brother.

My wife is one of the best wimin on this Continent, altho' she isn't always gentle as a lamb with mint sauce.

Let us all be happy, and live within our means, even if we have to borrow the money to do it with.

Why is this thus? What is the reason for this thusness?

They drink with impunity, or anybody who invites them.

I'm not a politician and my other habits are good.

I am not a politician, and my other habits air good.

We can't all be Washingtons, but we can all be patriots.

The happy married man dies in good stile at home, surrounded by his weeping wife and children. The old bachelor don't die at all â?? he sort of rots away, like a pollywog's tail.