Cathy Crimmins quotes:

What women look for in a man: Breathing, IQ over 80, weight under 550 pounds, fewer than six ex-wives. What men look for in a woman: Pia Zadora as she was ten years ago.

A period is just the beginning of a lifelong sentence

You can never be too paranoid.

Don't think of it as wrinkles. Think of ot as relaxed-fit skin.