Carroll Bryant quotes:

Look how healthy you are, and your skin, it's like a Barbie doll. Why, thank you, Jenny. Christine graciously accepted the compliment, only to get side swiped when Jennifer moved to the doorTell me, will you melt if it gets too hot outside?

I saw America's economy last night, people raiding dumpsters at a higher rate than normal in my home town. Digging through garbage shouldn't be a career. Thanks Democrats. Thanks Republicans.

Use a condom. The world doesn't need another you.

Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.