Alec Sulkin quotes:

Everyone's the anti-Teddy Roosevelt. Speak loudly and carry a brittle twig.

Hearing the faraway sounds of children at recess makes me understand that I am no longer life's main character.

There's something great about terrible westerns. They look like gay dancers and bad, overwrought dialogue and overacting, black and white sped up horses.

When I make fun of you, I strike just the right note. When you make fun of me, you're an incredibly ungrateful asshole and you know why.

If you say you had a zen moment, you already didn't.

His lie ability is an asset

The internet makes everything not enough.

Just because you're an avid reader doesn't mean you're an avid understander.

It always seems that people who bring nothing to the table take the most from it.

You are not special. There is no plan for you. Nothing happens for a reason. Just try not to die and shut up.

It's always dangerous when boring people think they're creative.