Alan Zweibel quotes:

Writers are born, not made. We can hone the craft. We need to try to encourage someone and make a dialogue, suggesting ways to do something differently or how to improve.

I experimented with my own one-man show a couple of years ago in Aspen when HBO used to have their comedy festival there. I called it 'A History of Me.'

I wasn't a class clown, I just found at an early age that I was able to make people laugh. So I mostly wrote funny stuff instead of writing what I was supposed to be writing.

I've been writing for people long enough to know that it has got to feel comfortable coming out of their mouths, especially when you're doing something that is first person and is so near and dear to you.

Whether it's an innate ability or an acquired way of regarding the world around us, being labeled as funny can only be accepted as a compliment.

Lust fades, so you'd better be with someone who can stand you.

My job is to put words together and tell a story. If that doesn't work for you, it's not a war crime.

It's an intangible thing, this thing we call talent, especially if we're in a position to teach and mentor others.

I haven't written a brochure yet. It's killing me. I know I have a brochure or pamphlet in me yet.

Writers are lucky. Whatever the mood, no matter the longing, the writer can use his words to connect himself to any world he wishes to visit.