Abe Lemons quotes:

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor.

You know what they call the fellow who finishes last in his medical school graduating class? They call him 'Doctor.'

There are really only two plays: Romeo and Juliet, and put the darn ball in the basket.

You mean in the state?

You may be big in New York, but in Walters, Oklahoma, you're nobody.

We did have three go to the YMCA.

I don't jog, if I die I want to be sick.

One day of practice is like one day of clean living. It doesn't do you any good.

The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.

Coaches who shoot par in the summer are the guys I want on my schedule in the winter.

Hell no. When I die I want to be sick.

Doctors bury their mistakes, but mine are still on scholarship.

I'd rather be a football coach. That way you only lose eleven games a year.

Damn referees, I'll miss them less than anybody.

They wanted to buy out my contract, but I couldn't make change for a $20, so they had to let me stay.

If I make a set of rules, then a guy goes out and steals an airplane. He comes back and says, 'It wasn't in the rules.'

I don't understand these new coaches who don't drink. What do they do when they get beat?

I don't have any tricky plays. I'd rather have tricky players.

You always catch the wrong players.