Zooey Quotes in I Love You, Man (2009)

[first lines]

Peter Klaven: So, my plan is to create this cluster of live/work lofts all along the perimeter here. And - come here - also I'm planning this neighborhoody, kind of dining and retail area in the central square. You know I even had this thought that you, Denise, and Haley could open up a second location for your store...

Zooey: Really? Because Denise keeps talking about wanting to open up another branch.

Peter Klaven: Well it would be great. I I look, the land is a little pricey, so I couldn't develop it right away. But once I sell the Ferrigno Estate I figured out I could at least put a down payment on it, and still have enough money left over for the reception in Santa Barbara...

Zooey: What are you talking about, what reception?

Joyce Klaven: Peter always connected better with women.

Zooey: You know, I can see that because he is a great boyfriend.

Peter Klaven: Thank you fiancee.

Oswald Klaven: Also, you got to understand, Zooey, Peter matured sexually at a very early age. I remember taking him swimming when he was twelve-years-old, kid had a bush like a forty-year-old Serbian.

Peter Klaven: Oh come on!

Peter Klaven: Hey Tevin.

Tevin Downey: Hey man.

Peter Klaven: What's so funny?

Tevin Downey: One of the guys in my fantasy football league just sent me a QuickTime, it's a grandma riding a Sybian machine.

Peter Klaven: Ha ha, what's that?

Tevin Downey: It's one of those vibrating saddles that women sit on to give them like super intense orgasms.

Peter Klaven: Ohh...

Tevin Downey: Check it out. How sick is that?

Peter Klaven: It's very, that's very sick.

Tevin Downey: So awesome. She's a squirter! She's squirting! Peter, we got a squirter! Old faithful!

Peter Klaven: Hello fiance.

Zooey: Hey baby I totally forgot it's my turn to host lady's night.

Peter Klaven: Oh no prob, I have a fencing practice anyway. I'll grab a beer with Gil and the boys afterward, hit them with the big news

Zooey: Great! I gotta go, love you.

Peter Klaven: Love you too.

Tevin Downey: Peter! Peter! I'm sending it to you.

Peter Klaven: No I don't want it.

Tevin Downey: You got it.

Peter Klaven: Ohh God. I don't even click it, how does it, I didn't click it on

Tevin Downey: She got a bush like a porcupine!

Peter Klaven: I don't want to know anything about her bush. Hi, Lynette.

Zooey: You can't just order a taxi and leave school whenever you want!

Eli: Well how do you expect me to get around? Have you been on a London bus recently? A taxi is really the quickest and most efficient way.

Zooey: Hey, so I was thinking maybe we should go shopping and get you some new clothes so you don't have to dress up every day.

Eli: I don't dress up because I have to. A man should look his best at all times.

Zooey: Quite right. Just in case you want to dress more casually.

Eli: I appreciate the gesture.