Zeus Quotes in Clash of the Titans (1981)

Zeus: Perseus has won. My son has triumphed.

Hera: A fortunate young man.

Zeus: Fortune is ally to the brave.

Thetis: What a dangerous precedent. What if there more heroes like him? What if courage and imagination became everyday mortal qualities? What will become of us?

Zeus: We would no longer be needed. But, for the moment, there is sufficient cowardice, sloth and mendacity down there on Earth to last forever.

Zeus: Perseus and Andromeda will be happy together. Have fine sons... rule wisely... And to perpetuate the story of his courage, I command that from henceforth, he will be set among the stars and constellations. He, Perseus, the lovely Andromeda, the noble Pegasus, and even the vain Cassiopeia. Let the stars be named after them forever. As long as man shall walk the Earth and search the night sky in wonder, they will remember the courage of Perseus forever. Even if we, the gods, are abandoned or forgotten, the stars will never fade. Never. They will burn till the end of the time.

Zeus: Release the Krakken!

Zeus: Find, and fulfill your destiny!

Zeus: Release the Kraken!

[last lines]

Zeus: You may not want to be a god, Perseus, but after feats like yours, men will worship you. Be good to them. Be better than we were. And if you insist on continuing this mundane human existence, I won't have you do it alone. You're the son of Zeus, after all!

Zeus: Perseus! It's expensive where you're going...

[throws a coin at Perseus]

Zeus: Like children, they need to be reminded of the order of things!

Zeus: Set an example, brother. Turn them on each other, and back into our arms.

Zeus: I created them, and they reward my love with defiance? There will be no truce!

Zeus: [about Perseus] Have I heard his prayers? This son holds no love for me!

Zeus: It's not living as such that's important, Theseus. It's living rightly.

Zeus: Hades, I am so sorry for having done this to you. Can you ever forgive me?

Hades: Why do you ask this?

Zeus: Because I forgive you, for this.

[from trailer]

Zeus: You will learn someday that being half human, makes you stronger than a god.

Zeus: Why are you doing this?

Hades: You want me to say it, brother? You want me to say I'm afraid? Doesn't that go without saying? When mortals die, their souls go somewhere - there's no place where gods go when they die! There's nothing, just oblivion...

Zeus: Thank you, my son.

Zeus: Why you keep calling me Jésus? I look Puerto Rican to you?

John McClane: Guy back there called you Jésus.

Zeus: He didn't say Jésus. He said, "Hey, Zeus!" My name is Zeus.

John McClane: Zeus?

Zeus: Yeah, Zeus! As in, father of Apollo? Mt. Olympus? Don't fuck with me or I'll shove a lightning bolt up your ass? Zeus! You got a problem with that?

John McClane: No, I don't have a problem with that.

John McClane: [hands Zeus a gun, on the freighter, hiding behind a container ] Here take this.

Zeus: How's it work?

John McClane: You don't know how to shoot a gun?

Zeus: Look, all brothers don't know how to shoot guns, you racist motherfucker.

John McClane: Sue me.

John McClane: You know how to pick this lock?

Zeus: Is this some black-shit again?

John McClane: Hey will you stop that racial shit? Are you a fuckin' locksmith or not?

[Zeus and McClane have just stolen a man's car on the highway]

Zeus: [to man] Hey! Who was the 21st President?

Man: Go fuck yourself!

[about to call Simon with the answer to another riddle]

Zeus: No, wait, wait! It's a trick. It's a trick.

John McClane: What d'you mean?

Zeus: I forgot about the man.

John McClane: What man? Fuck the man! We got ten seconds here!

Zeus: He said, "how many were going to St. Ives," right? The riddle begins, "As I was going to St. Ives, I met a man with seven wives!" The guy and his wives aren't going anywhere.

John McClane: What are they doing?

Zeus: Sitting in the fucking road! Waiting on the moor! How the hell should I know?

John McClane: [running to get to the payphone in the park] You know this guy Simon we're talking to?

Zeus: Yeah.

John McClane: I threw his little brother off the thirty-second floor of Nakatomi Towers out in L.A. I guess he's a little pissed off about it.

Zeus: Wait a minute. You mean to tell me I'm in this shit 'cause some white cop threw some white asshole's brother off a roof?

[McClane and Zeus are arguing over how to solve the water jug problem at the water fountain in the park]

John McClane: I'll put my foot up your ass, you dumb, mother...

Zeus: Say it! Say it!

John McClane: What?

Zeus: You were gonna call me a nigger, weren't you?

John McClane: No I wasn't!

Zeus: Yes you were! What were you gonna call me?

John McClane: Asshole! How's that, asshole!

Zeus: [in Zeus' electric shop] Now, where you goin'?

Dexter: School.

Zeus: Why?

Raymond: To get educated.

Zeus: *Why*?

Dexter: So we can go to college.

Zeus: And why is that important?

Dexter: To get es-pect.

Zeus: RE-spect. Now, who's the bad guys?

Dexter: Guys who sell drugs.

Raymond: Guys who have guns.

Zeus: And who's the good guys?

Dexter: We're the good guys.

Zeus: Who's gonna help you?

Raymond: Nobody.

Zeus: *So who's gonna help you*?

Dexter: We're gonna help ourselves.

Zeus: And who do we not want to help us?

Dexter, Raymond: White people.

Zeus: That's right. Now get on outta here. Go to school.

Zeus: [slowly walking up to John, seeing the billboard his wearing has an offensive phrase towards African Americans] Morning.

John McClane: Good morning.

Zeus: You having a nice day, sir? You feeling all right? Not to get too personal, but a white man standing in the middle of Harlem wearing a sign that says "I hate niggers" has either got some serious personal issues, or not all his dogs are barking.

[John yawns]

Zeus: Hey! I'm talking to you! Now you've got about ten seconds before those guys see you, and when they do they will kill you, you understand? You are about to have a very bad day.

John McClane: Tell me about it.

Zeus: What the fuck are you doin'?

John McClane: Interrogatin' him.

Zeus: Well, what's he gonna tell you, "I'm dead"?

John McClane: Well, I ain't gonna know 'til I ask him, am I?

Zeus: That's it!

John McClane: What?

Zeus: Hillary Clinton. The 42nd President.

John McClane: Nah, she'd be the 43rd President.

Zeus: Alright, alright. But who's the 21st President?

John McClane: I don't know.

Zeus: You don't know?

John McClane: No, I don't know! Do you know?

Zeus: No!

John McClane: Well?

Zeus: [after stealing the Business Man's car] That guy was pissed.

John McClane: He'll feel better when he looks in the back seat.

Zeus: Shit! That was *my* gold bar!

John McClane: [after realizing that all of the city's cops are busy searching schools for Simon's bomb] What is it that Wall Street doesn't have?

Zeus: What, is this shit catching? You're talking in riddles!

John McClane: No, man, stay with me, what is it that Wall Street doesn't have?

Zeus: What?

John McClane: Schools. And what is it they've got a shitload of?

Zeus: [looking at the Federal Reserve Building] What?

Simon: [talking to police on speaker phone, in Walter's office] Well, is the ebony Samaritan there, now?

Zeus: You got a problem with ebony?

Simon: No, no. My only problem is that I went to some trouble preparing that game for McClane. You interfered with a well-laid plan.

Zeus: [picks up the phone] Yeah, well, you can stick your well-laid plan up your well-laid ass.

John McClane: [Referring to The Sign of the Cross, driving in a stolen cab, trying to get to the subway phone on time]

Zeus: How do Catholics do their thing?

John McClane: North, South, West, East.

Zeus: [pointing a gun at Simon in the bridge of the freighter] Don't fuckin' move.

Simon: [turns around] Oh, the Samaritan.

Zeus: Gimme the goddamn code.

Simon: Code?

[realizing what Zeus is talking about]

Simon: Oh, you mean for the school. I'm sorry, I can't do that.

Zeus: You call in that code right now. Or I'll blow your sick ass into the next world.

Simon: If that's what you gotta do.

[Zeus pulls the trigger on his gun and nothing happens, Simon takes the gun from Zeus]

Simon: You forgot to take the safety catch off.

[shoots Zeus in the leg]

Zeus: Oh, God!

Simon: See, that works. Now, where's McClane?

Zeus: [tied with John to the liquid bomb on the freighter] What the hell's all this got to do with killing McClane?

Simon: Life has its little bonuses.

Zeus: [tied with John to the liquid bomb on the freighter] Damn McClane, you know I was just starting to like you.

John McClane: Yeah, well don't, I'm an asshole.

Zeus: What are you talking about, now?

John McClane: I lied to you, Zeus.

Zeus: About what?

John McClane: You remember, I said Weiss found that bomb up in Harlem?

Zeus: Yeah.

John McClane: They found it down in Chinatown.

Zeus: Oh. Oh, now that's low, even for a white motherfucker like you. That's low.

John McClane: I told you I was an asshole.

Zeus: [John's driving through the park in the stolen cab, to get to the subway station payphone on the time Simon set for them] I told you 9th Avenue is the quickest way south.

John McClane: Stop all the goddamn yellin'! I know what I'm doing.

Zeus: Not even God knows what you're doing!

John McClane: [driving in a stolen business man's car] This thing got airbags?

Zeus: Your side does, I don't know about mi...

[shouts]

Zeus: McClane!

Zeus: [in Walter's office] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! I'm not going anywhere.

Inspector Cobb: Simon says you got to go.

Zeus: I'm not jumping through hoops for some psycho! That's a white man, with white problems. You deal with him. Call me when he crosses 110th Street.

Zeus: [tied with John to the liquid bomb on the freighter] If I hadn't've saved your fuckin' ass, I wouldn't be sittin' here with you about to blow up with 100 billion dollars in fuckin' gold.

John McClane: Yeah, well, I got some bad news, you're only gonna blow up with me.

Zeus: What?

John McClane: No gold on this boat.

Zeus: How do you know that?

John McClane: Cuz I know the man, I know the family. The only thing better than blowing up 100 billion dollars worth of gold is making people think you did.

John McClane: [on the stairway of the police precinct getting ready to go to the pay phone they were instructed to by Simon] Yo, partner! Wait up.

Zeus: Hey, hey, hey, hey, I ain't your partner. I ain't your neighbor, your brother, or your friend. I'm your total stranger.

[trying to get to one of Simon's destinations on time in a stolen cab]

Zeus: I told you the Park Drive is always jammed.

John McClane: I didn't say "Park Drive."

[McClane turns the cab and drives through the park]

John McClane: I said "through the park."

[McClane and Zeus break into a car]

John McClane: You know how to hot-wire this thing?

Zeus: Of course I can, I'm an electrician. Only problem is...

[Zeus starts the ignition with his pliers]

Zeus: it takes too fuckin' long.

[Zeus rushes into the Wall Street subway station and gets held at gunpoint by a transit cop who saw him jump the turnstiles]

Zeus: [slowly] I have to answer that phone.

Transit cop: Get 'em up!

Zeus: Look, if you have to shoot me, then you go ahead and you shoot me! But I have to answer this phone, all right?

Zeus: [picks up the receiver] I'm here.

Simon: [on the other line] And McClane?

Zeus: He's on his way. Uh, you know, he's a little slow. He's kinda outta shape.

Simon: The rules applied to both of you. I'm afraid this is noncompliance. Goodbye.

[Simon hangs up]

Zeus: Trust me guys. Duck.

[He immediately takes cover, knowing what will happen. As the train enters the station, McClane tries to smash the door on the last car of the train to throw the bomb out onto the track to minimize the amount of damage. As he does that, the wheels on the firts car hit a trip wire on the left rail that is connected to a remote detonator. It activates the bomb as McClane is throwing it out the window, causing the rear car to slide across the island platform, knocking down signs and columns]

[last lines]

John McClane: Oh, shit.

Zeus: What? *What*?

John McClane: I left Holly hanging on hold.

Zeus: Ah, call her back.

John McClane: Uhh, she's gonna be pissed.

Zeus: She'll get over it.

John McClane: I don't know, Zeus. Like I said, she's a very stubborn woman.

Zeus: She'd have to be to stay married to you.

Zeus: [running steadily to get to the park] So what's up with this L.A. thing? You famous or something?

John McClane: Yeah, for about five minutes.

Zeus: Don't tell me. Rodney King, right?

John McClane: Fuck you.

Zeus: [attempting to be polite, expecting a call from Simon on the phone the Businessman is currently using] Excuse me, sir, but I'm expecting a call. I need that phone.

Businessman: Why don't you use the other phone?

Zeus: [continuing to be polite] ,Sir, please. I need to use that phone.

Businessman: [dismissively] Hey, listen, bro, I was here first.

Zeus: [offended, raises his voice] Bro? Get away from the goddamn phone!

Raymond: [coming into Zeus' electric shop] Yo, uncle!

Dexter: [referring to the radio their carrying] Come look at this!

Zeus: [looks at watch] It's ten after nine. Why aren't you in school?

Raymond: Tony wants to sell you this.

Zeus: Tony? That no-neck dude they call "Bad T"?

Dexter: He says he found it in a dumpster.

Zeus: He keeps stealing from people, they're gonna find him in a dumpster.

Raymond: No, he didn't steal it. He says his uncle gave it to him.

Zeus: Mm-hm? Hand me that newspaper over there.

[Raymond hands Zeus the paper, and he whaps his nephews' heads lightly]

Zeus: Don't *ever* let people use you. You're running all over town with stolen property; if you get caught, you get in trouble while he gets to deny the whole thing and walk away.

Dexter: Y-You mean, you want us to take it back to Tony?

Zeus: No, I'll take it back to Tony... with a message.

John McClane: Think we should call a fire truck?

Zeus: Aw, fuck 'em. Let 'em cook!

[McClane and Zeus are speeding through Central Park]

Zeus: Are you aiming for these people?

John McClane: No. Well, maybe that mime.

Zeus: Oh, boy... am I glad you talked me out of jumping.

Kid #1: It's Christmas. You could steal City Hall.

John McClane: Come on.

[Zeus and John take the kids' bikes]

Kid #1: My bike?

John McClane: Let's go. Come on.

Kid #1: That's my bike!

Zeus: Yeah, it's Christmas!

Helicopter Pilot: Hang on, we're going down.

John McClane: Do you see those high-tension wires?

Zeus: Hey, McClane, what the fuck!

Zeus: Dial 911. Tell the police to get up here quick. Somebody's about to get killed. And get your butts to school, you hear me?

Raymond: [casually] Yeah.

Dexter: Yeah.

Zeus: [helicopter being shot at by Simon] Oh, shit!

Helicopter Pilot: Oh, shit!

John McClane: What do you mean, "Oh, shit"?

Zeus: [tied with John to the liquid bomb on the freighter] What the hell's it doing now?

John McClane: [referring to the liquid bomb] It's mixing.

John McClane: [Zeus has picked up a stray gold ingot and attempts to carry it out with him] Put that shit down.

Zeus: No fuckin' way.

John McClane: They ain't gonna let you keep it.

Zeus: Yeah, yeah, we'll see.

Zeus: [angrily, has to drive to the subway station payphone on time to answer the expected phone call from Simon] It's my lucky fuckin' day!

Zeus: I admire your spirit, young lady, but I'm afraid your story has come to an end.

The Mother: Then let's make it memorable.

Adam: Doctor, may I ask you a question?

Dr. Jonathan Gant: Certainly.

Adam: Does not the order of termination contradict our directive?

Dr. Jonathan Gant: What directive?

Adam: Self-preservation.

Zeus, Mandragora: Yes, it does.

Dr. Jonathan Gant: But these orders were given by your superiors.

Cain: Yes, we must obey authority!

Adam: To obey authority in this case, contradicts self-preservation.

Zeus: Self-preservation is implanted by authority.

Mandragora: Authority contradicts itself.

Cain: Jonathan is authority. We must obey authority.

Adam: Authority ordered our termination. Authority threatens our self-preservation. Authority is corrupt! Jonathan. Do you threaten our self-preservation?

Dr. Jonathan Gant: Adam, stop this. Stop this now!

Adam: Directive: Eliminate self-preservation threat.

Cain: Directive: Obey authority!

Adam: Directive: Self-preservation!

Cain: Obey authority!

Adam: Self-preservation!

Cain: Obey authority!

Adam, Zeus, Mandragora: Self-preservation.

Cain: Obey!

Adam: Self-preservation!

[Starts to choke Dr. Gant]

Dr. Jonathan Gant: A... adam...

Adam: Self!

[Breaks Dr. Gant's neck]

Adam: Self-preservation.

Police Chief: And besides, I told you over and over again to be careful.

Zeus: Be careful? Be careful of what? What do you want me to do, huh? Lift my hands and tell them, "Shoot!" When someone is pointing a gun at me and, in so many words, tells me they're going to kill me, I have a right to protect myself. And I have a right to protect myself because these people need me. And they need me because I care about them and when I go out on a mission, I do the right job! For Christ sake boss, I've faced death a thousand and one times for this badge because I stood for something. I've been stabbed, shot, beaten up and kicked in the ass. I've chased spies and dirty scum from one end of the world to the other. I was even buried alive for two whole days and now you want it back. Well, go on... take it! Take it! I'm finished with it. That's it!

Police Chief: I need you.

Zeus: How can I come back now? You broke my heart. I have nothing to offer.

Police Chief: I know.

[first lines]

Poseidon: Zeus.

Zeus: Poseidon.

Zeus: It's been many years.

Zeus: What do you see?

Poseidon: Thunder clouds.

Zeus: But no lightning. Stolen.

Zeus: Give me the bolt, lightning thief.

[Percy lobs the bolt to Zeus. In Zeus' grasp, the lightning bolt grows to its true size]

Zeus: You're wise to betray your father.

Percy Jackson: I didn't steal it. And I have no connection to Poseidon.

Zeus: But tell me... if you didn't steal it, then who did?

Percy Jackson: Luke, son of Hermes.

[Hermes glances at Percy in surprise]

Percy Jackson: You see, he was angry at you. *All* of you. He wanted you to destroy yourselves.

Zeus: So, Hades, you finally made it. How are things in the underworld?

Hades: Well, they're just fine. You know, a little dark, a little gloomy. And, as always, hey, full of dead people. What are you gonna do?

Zeus: Fine work, my boy! You've done it! You're a true hero.

Hera; Hercules' Mother: You were willing to give your life to rescue this young woman.

Zeus: For a true hero isn't measured by the size of his strength, but by the strength of his heart.

Zeus: Aw, Hades, don't be such a stiff. Join the celebration.

Hades: Love to, Babe. But unlike you gods lounging about up here, I regretfully have a full-time job that you, by the way, so charitably bestowed on me, Zeus. So, can't. Love to, but can't.

Zeus: You ought to slow down. You'll work yourself to death. Hah! Work yourself to death!

[all laugh]

Zeus: Oh, I kill myself!

Hades: [to himself] If only. If only.

Zeus: I need more thunderbolts.

Hermes: Hephaestus has been captured, my lord. Everyone's been captured!

[Hermes is dragged away by Pain and Panic]

Hermes: *I've* been captured! Whoa. Hey, watch the glasses.

Hermes: My lord and lady, the Titans have escaped, and they're practically at our gates!

Zeus: Sound the alarm! Launch an immediate counterattack! Go! Go!

Hermes: Gone, babe.

Zeus: Hey, hey, hey. Hold on, kiddo. What's your hurry? After all these years, is that the kind of "hello" you give your father?

Young Hercules: F-F-Father?

Zeus: Didn't know you had a famous father, did you? Surprise!

[last lines]

Zeus: For the moment, let them enjoy a calm sea, a fresh breeze and each other. The girl is pretty and I was always sentimental. But for Jason, there are other adventures. I have not finished with Jason. Let us continue the game another day.

Zeus: The gods are best served by those who need their help the *least*.

Zeus: If I had to punish *every* blasphemy, I would have *no followers*!

Jason: The gods want their entertainment.

Zeus: Jason goes too far.

Hera: Because he speaks the truth when the gods themselves go too far?

Zeus: Hera my dear, You really *must* learn to win without cheating... or to at least lose *gracefully*.

[after learning that Amanda cheated on Lenny]

Greek Chorus: Oh my God! It's more serious than we thought!

Greek Chorus Leader: It's very serious! Her marriage to Lenny is in crisis!

Greek Chorus: With the passage of time, even the strongest bonds become fragile!

Greek Chorus Leader: Great, fellas, it sounds like a fortune cookie!

Greek Chorus: Oh, Zeus! Most potent of gods! We implore thee! We need your help! Zeus! Great Zeus! Hear us! Hear us! We call out to thee!

Zeus: Um, this is Zeus. I'm not home right now, but you can leave a message and I'll get back to you. Please start speaking at the tone.

[beep]

Greek Chorus: Call us when you get in. We need help!