Young Robert Quotes in Free Enterprise (1998)

[Shatner just asked Robert why he started the fight]

Young Robert: Well... it was something he said.

Imaginary William Shatner: What'd he say?

Young Robert: You really don't want to know.

Imaginary William Shatner: I really do want to know!

Young Robert: He said that Han Solo was cooler than Captain Kirk.

[pause]

Imaginary William Shatner: Kick the little fucker's ass.

[Young Robert was in a fight with a larger kid while wearing a gold Starfleet uniform, when William Shatner appears to him]

Imaginary William Shatner: I think I ought to tell you that that, uh, Aryan youth is gonna kick you into oblivion.

Young Robert: But what about in "Arena" when Kirk fought the Gorn? That giant lizard monster was three times as big as him!

Imaginary William Shatner: My boy, that was a TV show. I used a stunt double. I always use a stunt double. Except in love scenes. I insist on doing those myself.

Young Robert: Well, what would you do to avoid a fight?

Imaginary William Shatner: I wouldn't dress like a geek. Gold is not your color. Think earth tones.