Young Charlie Quotes in The Italian Job (2003)

Charlie Croker: Me? I've been a thief since I had baby teeth.

[in flashback, Charlie tells two bullies what to do so he can rob another kid]

Young Charlie: Okay, you both know what to do.

Bully: Cough it up now.

[They stage some horseplay on another kid]

Bully: Watch it, spas! Hey, what's your problem, man?

[Charlie steals money from that kid's pocket and walks away]

Goth Girl: Charlie Logan, you are not my boyfriend anymore! I hex you!

Young Charlie: You what?

Goth Girl: I hex you. You will never be happy! Around you love will fall like rain. You won't hold it. Your heart will pain! Once the girl has been with you, to the next she will be true!

Young Stu: Was that Phil Collins?

Young Charlie: Stu, run it by me again? Kissing is first base. Second base is boob. Third base is...

Young Stu: Finger.

Young Charlie: Finger?

Young Stu: Or thumb.

Young Charlie: What's a blowjob?

Young Stu: I have no idea. But I overheard my dad saying that he gets one once a year on his birthday, so it must be good.

Young Charlie: If you ran into me Da with a motor car, he'd thank you for the lift.

Young Charlie: Go away, I'm warning you. Go away or I'll kill you myself. See... that's the way I feel about you.

[to the telegraph operator]

Young Charlie: Mrs. Henderson, do you believe in telepathy?

Mrs. Henderson: Well, I ought to. That's my business.

Young Charlie: Oh, not telegraphy. Mental telepathy. Like, well, suppose you have a thought, and suppose the thought's about someone you're in tune with, and then across thousands of miles, that person knows what you're thinking about and answers you, and it's all mental.

Mrs. Henderson: I don't know what you're talking about. I only send telegrams the normal way.

Young Charlie: We just sort of go along and nothing happens. We're in a terrible rut. It's been on my mind for months. What's gonna be our future?

Joseph Newton: Oh, come now, Charlie. Things aren't as bad as that. The bank gave me a raise last January.

Young Charlie: Money? How can you talk about money when I'm talking about souls? We eat and sleep and that's about all. We don't even have any real conversations. We just talk.

Uncle Charlie: How was church, Charlie? Did you count the house? Turn anybody away?

Young Charlie: No. Room enough for everyone.

Uncle Charlie: Well, I'm glad to hear that. The show's been running such a long time, I thought maybe attendance might be falling off.

Young Charlie: We're not just an uncle and a niece. It's something else. I know you. I know you don't tell people a lot of things. I don't either. I have a feeling that inside you there's something nobody knows about... something secret and wonderful. I'll find it out.

Young Charlie: Your picking us as an average family kind of gave me a funny feeling.

Jack Graham: What kind of a funny feeling?

Young Charlie: Oh, I don't know. I guess I don't like to be an average girl in an average family.

Jack Graham: Average families are the best. Look at me. I'm from an average family.

Young Charlie: As average as ours?

Jack Graham: Sure. Besides, I don't think you're average.

Young Charlie: He thought the world was a horrible place. He couldn't have been very happy, ever. He didn't trust people. Seemed to hate them. He hated the whole world. You know, he said people like us had no idea what the world was really like.

[Uncle Charlie visits the bank]

Uncle Charlie: Hello, Joe. Can you stop embezzling a minute and give me your attention?

Joseph Newton: Oh, uh, Charles, we don't joke about such things here.

Uncle Charlie: Aw, what's a little shortage in the books at the end of the month? Any good bank clerk can cover up a little shortage. Isn't that right, Charlie?

Young Charlie: Uncle Charlie, you're awful. Everyone can hear you.

Uncle Charlie: Good thing they can. We all know what banks are. Look all right to an outsider, but no one knows what goes on when the doors are locked. Can't fool me, though.

Young Charlie: What time does the library close?

Ann Newton: If you'd read as much as you should, you'd know it closes at nine.

Young Charlie: Mothers don't lose daughters. Don't you remember? They gain sons.