Young Birdman Quotes in Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) (2014)

Young Birdman: It's a beautiful day. Forget about the Times... everyone else has. Come on. Stand up! So you're not a great actor. Who cares? You're much more than that. You tower over these other theater douchebags. You're a movie star, man! You're a global force! Don't you get it? You spent your life building a bank account and a reputation... and you blew 'em both. Good for you. Fuck it. We'll make a comeback. They're waiting for something huge. Well, give it to them. Shave off that pathetic goatee. Get some surgery! Sixty's the new thirty, motherfucker. You're the original. You paved the way for these other clowns. Give the people what they want... old-fashioned apocalyptic porn. Birdman: The Phoenix Rises. Pimple-faced gamers creaming in their pants. A billion worldwide, guaranteed. You are larger than life, man. You save people from their boring, miserable lives. You make them jump, laugh, shit their pants. All you have to do is...

[Riggan snaps fingers, and explosions occur, shooting starts, soldiers get shot, choppers fly and shoot, one gets shot down]

Young Birdman: That's what I'm talking about. Bones rattling! Big, loud, fast! Look at these people, at their eyes... they're sparkling. They love this shit. They love blood. They love action. Not this talky, depressing, philosophical bullshit.

[Birdman shoots laser in giant mechanical bird above the building, it screeches]

Young Birdman: Yes. And the next time you screech...

[Riggan screeches]

Young Birdman: ... it'll explode into millions of eardrums. You'll glimmer on thousands of screens around the globe. Another blockbuster. You are a god.

[Riggan starts flying]

Young Birdman: See? There you go, you motherfucker. Gravity doesn't even apply to you. Wait till you see the faces of those who thought we were finished. Listen to me. Let's go back one more time and show them what we're capable of. We have to end it on our own terms... with a grand gesture. Flames. Sacrifice. Icarus. You can do it. You hear me? You are... Birdman!

[first lines]

Young Birdman: How did we end up here? This place is horrible. Smells like balls. We don't belong here.

Young Birdman: Sixty is the new thirty, mother fucker.

Young Birdman: You are lame, Riggan, rolling around with that poncy theater fuck in an 800-seat shithole like this. Oh, you really fucked up this time. You destroy a genius book with that infantile adaptation. Now you're about to destroy what's left of your career. It's pathetic.

Riggan: [trying to meditate] Breathing in, I am calm...

Young Birdman: Let's get the hell out of here while we can.

Riggan: [trying to meditate] ... I ignore this mental formation. This is a mental formation.

Young Birdman: Stop that shit! I'm not a mental formation. I'm you, asshole.

Riggan: Leave me alone.

Young Birdman: You were a movie star, remember? Pretentious, but happy.

Riggan: I wasn't happy.

Young Birdman: Ignorant, but charming. Now, you're just a tiny, bitter cocksucker.

Riggan: I was fucking miserable.

Young Birdman: Yeah, but fake miserable. Hollywood miserable. What are you trying to prove? You're an artist? You're not.

Riggan: Fuck you!

Young Birdman: No, fuck you, you coward. We grossed billions! You're ashamed of that? Billions!

Riggan: And billions of flies eat shit every day! So what? Does that make it good? I don't know if you noticed, but that was 1992!

Young Birdman: You could jump right back into that suit if you wanted to.

Riggan: [rips open his shirt] Oh, look at me! Look at this! Look, look, look! I look like a turkey with leukemia! I'm fucking disappearing. This is what's left! I'm the answer to a fucking Trivial Pursuit question!

Young Birdman: You're an impostor here. Eventually they will figure you out.

Riggan: What part of this don't you get? You're dead.

Young Birdman: We are not dead.

Riggan: Oh, please, just stay dead.

Young Birdman: We are not dead.

Young Birdman: Stop saying "we"! There is no "we"! I'm not fucking you! I'm Riggan fucking Thomson!

Young Birdman: No, you're Birdman. Because without me, all that's left is you, a sad, selfish, mediocre actor, grasping at the last vestiges of his career.

[Riggan uses telekinesis to grab his poster and slam it into the wall]

Young Birdman: What the hell did you do that for? I liked that poster. It's always "we", brother.

Riggan: Fuck you! Shut the fuck up! Leave me alone! You're fucking, so fucking annoying! Shut up!

[notices Jake enter the room and immediately calms down]

Riggan: Hey. What's up?

Young Birdman: You could jump right back into that suit if you wanted to. We're not dead.

Riggan: Look at me. Look at this. Look, look, look! I look like a turkey with leukemia!

Young Birdman: Without me, all that's left is you.