Yellowbeard Quotes in Yellowbeard (1983)
Yellowbeard: She couldn't be your mother. No woman ever slept with me and lived.
Betty: When little Dan was two minutes old I tattooed it on his head.
Yellowbeard: Does he know about this?
Betty: Oh, no no no, that's why I kept him in the cupboard for three years. That may be why he's a bit odd with all these books, and reading, and stuff like that.
Dan: Look, if you cut my head off it'll start to putrify!
Yellowbeard: Do what?
Dan: Putrify, go rotten!
Yellowbeard: Yeah, it would ooze a lot, heads do. But I could live with that.
Betty: That's Yellowbeard.
Yellowbeard: I'm in disguise, you stupid tart!
Yellowbeard: Where's the map?
Betty: What map?
Yellowbeard: If you say you don't know where it is, I'll nail your tits to the table!
Yellowbeard: Dying's the easy way out. You won't catch me dying. They'll have to kill me before I die!
Commander Clement: Twenty years ago today you were sentenced to jail.
Yellowbeard: Yes, and now I'm due to released.
Commander Clement: Yes. Or rather, no. You see, twenty years ago, no one was expected to live in jail for twenty years.
Yellowbeard: Betrayin's all part of piratin'. If you don't know that you're not even close to being a pirate, "Prawn of my loins", my foot!
Yellowbeard: You're either born a pirate or not! It's in the blood Dan, and it's not in your blood or you'd have betrayed me long ago!
Dan: Everyone will be following you and if they catch you they'll have the map.
Yellowbeard: Bugger them! I'll eat it first. Won't be the first head I've eaten.
Betty: Well, it's been awhile since we had a little cuddle.
Yellowbeard: I raped ya, if that's what you mean.
Betty: Okay. It was half-cuddle, half-rape.
Yellowbeard: I'm sure I killed the last one I raped, it can't have been you.
Betty: Well, the afterplay was a bit on the rough side, but not fatal dear.
Yellowbeard: Oh, been out raping, lad?
Yellowbeard: Nice work lad.
Dan: No, I haven't raped her!
Yellowbeard: [disappointed] No, you wouldn't have you poncy little git! You're not the prawn of my loins, your mother's a bloody liar!
Yellowbeard: That's what I liked about her!
Troila: What's happened to Daddy?
Yellowbeard: I killed him!
Dan: He's gone to heaven.
Troila: Aw, that's nice! He sent all his friends there.
Yellowbeard: With your head on my shoulders we could wreck civilization!
Yellowbeard: When they stretched me on the rack for a couple of years, I didn't go around dyin' all over the place!
Gilbert: Where did you hide the treasure, exactly?
Yellowbeard: You won't catch me with those trick questions.
Yellowbeard: Who're you talkin' about?
Betty: The fruit of your loins, sugar drawers.
Yellowbeard: Are you mad, woman? I haven't got fruit in my loins! Lice, yes, and proud of 'em!
Betty: When little Dan came along...
Yellowbeard: Who's Dan?
Betty: [indignantly] My and probably your son!
Yellowbeard: Where's my pirating outfit?
Yellowbeard: Alright, Dan, if you're my son, prove it. Kill this stupid old bugger!
Lord Lambourn: Hold your horses...
Dan: I can't kill him! He brought me up! Just like a father.
Yellowbeard: Oh, you mean he's beat ya and kicked ya and smashed ya in the teeth?
Lord Lambourn: Yes...
Lord Lambourn: No.
Dan: He's been kind and gentle.
Yellowbeard: What kind of a father is that? Kill him!
Yellowbeard: Alright, I'll do it!
Betty: You're all going after the treasure!
Dan, Lord Lambourn, Yellowbeard, Dr. Gilpin: No!
Lord Lambourn: Uh, botanical...
Yellowbeard: Killing plants!
Dan: Father! We thought you were dead.
Yellowbeard: Us Yellowbeards are never more dangerous than when we're dead. How are you gettin' on pirating?
Dan: Um, well...
Yellowbeard: How many men have you killed so far?
Dan: One. Two, I think.
Yellowbeard: You think? You'll never kill anyone if you go around thinkin'.
Yellowbeard: Oh, bugger me, you've sodded the whole thing up like the stupid little twerp that you are. I was recreating what happened to me twenty years ago, man and boy.
Yellowbeard: You are a Yellowbeard!
Yellowbeard: Killin' your father as I killed my father before me.
Dan: Dad, the blood...
Yellowbeard: That's what I like to hear! You are my son!
Betty: I'm talking about the fruit of your loins.
Yellowbeard: Fruit of me loins? I haven't got fruit in me loins! Lice, yes, and proud of 'em, but no fruit!
Yellowbeard: I'll kill anyone who get's in the way of me killing anyone.
Yellowbeard: She's yours, is she then, Dan? Let me have a bit of a prod at her first.
Yellowbeard: [a knock at the door] KILL!
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