Woody Stevens Quotes in Wild Hogs (2007)

+1
Share
Pin
Like
Send
Share

Woody Stevens Quotes:

  • Doug Madsen: Ooh boy, my ass is sore.

    Dudley Frank: Mine too, its Woody's fault for riding us so hard yesterday. The human body wasnt made to stradle something that big for that long.

    Woody Stevens: Well ya know its gonna hurt a little bit but that's all part of the experience. Its why we didnt bring our wives.

    Bobby Davis: Wut da...? What the hell? Someone wanna explain to me why I'm the one in the dirt? When I got sore jaws from 3 hours of blowin...

    [notices Highway Patrolman]

    Bobby Davis: .

    Highway Patrolman: Please... Please, for the love of God, finish your sentence.

  • Woody Stevens: [a large yard is full of a bunch of leaves] Well go home, Toby! You make me sick!

    Toby: I can't do this many leaves for $10!

    [Woody kicks a pile of leaves]

  • Dudley Frank: I'm looking foward to the parade this year. I got little Tootsie Rolls to throw to the kids.

    Woody Stevens: Tootsie Rolls? You cannot even put on your left blinker without wiping out.

  • Dudley Frank: Thanks, Woody, I feel really safe with you.

    Woody Stevens: I noticed that. If you ever lay your head on my back while riding bitch, I'll throw you into traffic!

    Dudley Frank: I was just trying to keep the wind out of my face.

    Woody Stevens: I felt you smell my neck!

    Bobby Davis: Did you smell that man's neck?

    Dudley Frank: His cologne is fantastic. It's musky with an oaky finish like a... lawyer cowboy.

    Bobby Davis: A lawyer cowboy?

  • Damien Blade: [Damien walks up to the Wild Hogs after the Del Fuegos leave] The posers. What do you guys call yourselves?

    Woody Stevens: I'm Woody...

    [the others say their names]

    Damien Blade: [interrupting] No, no... you all riding together? What do you call yourselves?

    Dudley Frank: Hogs... Wild Hogs.

    [turns around and shows Damien the back of his jacket]

    Damien Blade: [laughs] Wild Hogs. Well, Wild Hogs... ride hard or stay home. Oh, and guys... lose the watches.

    [he leaves]

  • Woody Stevens: Come on, guys, we're exhausted. I think we should take the bikes back to the hotel, put them in a shed with the doors closed, and then play Scrabble in the room with the shades down.

    Doug Madsen: Look Aunt Bea, maybe you want to do something else here in Mayberry!

  • Doug Madsen: Woody, sorry I said you had ego issues.

    Woody Stevens: Sorry I said you were a pussy.

    Doug Madsen: You didn't call me a pussy.

    Woody Stevens: Well, not to your face, but that's what I was thinking.

  • Woody Stevens: That's not a discussion.

    Dudley Frank: Yeah, that's a lawsuit.

  • Woody Stevens: Del Fuegos! Hide the bikes! Quick!

  • Dudley Frank: What'd you do, Woody?

    Woody Stevens: I cut the gas lines of their bikes, and then I maybe blew up their bar.

  • Dudley Frank: I got a tat.

    Doug Madsen: Hell just froze over.

    Woody Stevens: Let's see it!

    Dudley Frank: I'm a biker dude!

    [shows tattoo of Apple logo]

    Woody Stevens: It's an Apple.

    Dudley Frank: I know, it's trademarked, but what are they gonna say... It's in my skin, bitch!

  • Woody Stevens: Dudley, you have to get rid of that or else I'm going to vomit in your lap.

    Dudley Frank: Fine, I'll hang it from a tree.

    Woody Stevens: Don't hang it in a tree.

    Dudley Frank: Why?

    Woody Stevens: Cause bears don't eat shit!

  • Doug Madsen: Did you ever wake up one morning and wonder what happened to your life?

    [Woody nods his head]

    Doug Madsen: You know, I thought my life would be an adventure. All of a sudden, I'm a suburban dentist.

    Bobby Davis: Look, Doug, I feel your pain, man. I mean I swore I would never return to a job where I had to where condoms on my shoes.

    Woody Stevens: You're still at The Firm?

    Bobby Davis: Yea. I get yelled at by an ungrateful wife. I swear the whole thing has made me...

    Doug Madsen: ...a wimp.

    Bobby Davis: I was gonna say miserable.

    Bobby Davis: [pause] What? You think I'm a wimp?

    Doug Madsen: No, I thought you were gonna say wimp, so I'd thought I'd say it for you.

    Woody Stevens: You're a wimp, Bobby. I'll say it. I mean you're afraid of women. It's kinda embarrassing.

    Dudley Frank: I'm afraid of women.

    Woody Stevens: You're afraid to talk to women. Bobby's afraid they'll kill him in his sleep.

    [Doug and Woody laugh]

    Dudley Frank: Wow... now I'm really afraid of women.

  • Woody Stevens: I'm just swimming here with my gay friends.

  • Doug Madsen: [convincing him to go skinny-dipping] Come on...

    Woody Stevens: Fine, I will get naked with my gay friends. If any of them look at my junk, I will kill them!

  • Bobby Davis: I think we better get out of here.

    Woody Stevens: No, we'll get out of here at sundown after we've had our beverage.

  • Woody Stevens: [as the Del Feugos bar explodes] Oh, shit! Oh, God. Oh, no.

  • Doug Madsen: Woody, remember the theme of this trip? "Whatever", remember? "Whatever?"

    Woody Stevens: Okay, fine! Fine. We'll stay the night, and get gas in the morning. Okay.

    Doug Madsen: Calm down. I just don't understand what your rush is.

    Woody Stevens: I'm not in a rush, man. I just wanna ride, man. I just wanna ride. You know? Sally, ride. You are so weird! You ask some weird shit and say the weirdest things. Why don't you just, what, what?

  • Woody Stevens: Come on, let's go!

    Doug Madsen: What's your rush?

    Woody Stevens: Come on, man, it's the open road. Riding free, that's the rush! This isn't freedom, this is a gas station built by the man, a prison for our souls!

    Bobby Davis: my soul needs something to drink.

    Dudley Frank: We'll get gas at the next station, come on Wild Hogs! Let's go! Woo-hoo!

  • [last lines]

    Doug MadsenDudley FrankBobby DavisWoody Stevens: Wild Hogs!

  • Doug Madsen: Look, guys, sign at the curve of the road!

    Bobby Davis: Madrid.

    Woody Stevens: Spain?

  • Woody Stevens: Holy crap! It's the Golden Knight!

  • Woody Stevens: The trip is over because some tattooed bullies pushed us around?

    Doug MadsenBobby Davis: Yeah.

  • [after Woody has slapped a bull, Doug goes out to also slap it]

    Earl Dooble: Yeah, and we never seen it done twice in a row.

    Woody Stevens: What?

    Earl Dooble: It'll be interesting to see how the bull takes being slapped now that he's alert.

    Woody StevensBobby Davis: Alert?

  • Woody Stevens: Yeah, Well, one man's fairy tale is another man's nightmare.

  • Woody Stevens: [jumps in the water naked, shivering] Whoa, that's cold!

    Woody Stevens: Why are you naked?

    Dudley Frank: I thought we were doing this wild and free thing. You guys kept your skivvies on?

    Doug Madsen: Yeah, there might be snappin' turtles or somethin'.

    Bobby Davis: I kept mine on because I didn't want it to get dark in here!

Browse more character quotes from Wild Hogs (2007)

+1
Share
Pin
Like
Send
Share