Woody Grant Quotes in Nebraska (2013)

David Grant: Dad, why didn't you tell us that wasn't Ed's house?

Woody Grant: I didn't know what the hell you were doing.

Ross Grant: Have you ever seen us steal machinery before?

Woody Grant: I never know what you boys are up to.

Ross Grant: Why didn't you say it wasn't yours?

Woody Grant: I thought you wanted it.

Ross Grant: What would we want an old compressor for?

Woody Grant: That's what I couldn't figure out.

Kate Grant: That's Ed Pegram singing.

Ed Pegram: And his momma cried, cause if there's one thing that she don't need, it's another hungry mouth to feed... in the ghetto. people don't ya understand...

Kate Grant: He always did have a nice voice. It was the only nice thing about that bastard.

Woody Grant: It's all right.

Kate Grant: All right? Did you know... he was always trying to get into my bloomers?

David Grant: Jesus mom. Was the whole town trying to seduce you?

David Grant: ...and all your brothers are coming over today, remember?

Woody Grant: Some of 'em are dead.

David Grant: The dead ones won't be here.

Woody Grant: Have a drink with your old man. Be somebody!

Kate Grant: Why do you want meatloaf if it isn't even on the dinner menu?

Woody Grant: 'cause I like it.

Waitress: What can I get you?

Woody Grant: Do you have any meatloaf?

Waitress: No, that's only part of our lunch specials.

Kate Grant: He'll have the chicken.

Waitress: Fried or grilled?

Woody Grant: ...fried.

Kate Grant: He'll have it grilled. I think I'd like the roast beef, but I'm not entirely sure. What do you recommend?

Waitress: Everything's all good ma'am, but I especially like the tilapia.

Kate Grant: Oh, then I'll have the roast beef.

David Grant: ...I'll have the tilapia.

David Grant: Hey Dad, you finally got your compressor back.

Woody Grant: That's not my compressor.

David Grant: Sure it is.

Woody Grant: Mine didn't look anything like that.

David Grant: It has to be yours. It's an old compressor we found in Ed Pegram's barn.

Woody Grant: That wasn't Ed's barn.

David Grant: Oh. Okay. Dad, I found it. Here it is.

[Runs up holding partial]

David Grant: Oh. Wait. This isn't yours.

Woody Grant: [Goes back to looking]

David Grant: I was kidding. Here.

[Hands it over]

Woody Grant: [Examines it] These ain't mine.

David Grant: Of course they're yours.

Woody Grant: No.

David Grant: Whose else is it going to be? See if it fits.

Woody Grant: They're not my teeth.

David Grant: They have to be.

Woody Grant: I ought to know my own teeth.

David Grant: [Walks off]

Woody Grant: Of course they're my teeth. Don't be a moron.

Receptionist: [after telling Woody he hasn't won the money] I can give you a free gift. Would you like a hat or a seat cushion?

David Grant: Dad. Do you want a hat or a seat cushion?

Woody Grant: I'll take a hat.

David Grant: So, what do you think, dad?

Woody Grant: It doesn't look finished to me.

David Grant: How do you mean?

Woody Grant: [upon seeing Mount Rushmore] Well, it looks like somebody got bored doing it. Washington's the only one with any clothes, and they're just kind of roughed in. Lincoln doesn't even have an ear.

Woody Grant: I won a million dollars.

ER Doctor: Congratulations, that'll just about pay for a day in the hospital.

Woody Grant: This was my parents' room. I got whipped if they found me in here. I guess nobody's gonna whip me now.

Woody Grant: So long, Albert.

Uncle Albert: So long, Woody.

Woody Grant: Where's my teeth?

David Grant: You lost your teeth?

David Grant: How did you and mom end up getting married?

Woody Grant: She wanted to.

David Grant: And you didn't?

Woody Grant: I figured, what the hell.

David Grant: Were you ever sorry you married her?

Woody Grant: All the time.

David Grant: Well, why did you have kids, then?

Woody Grant: I like to screw, and your mother's a Catholic, so you figure it out.

Sheriff: Hey, partner.

Sheriff: Hold on there, just a second.

Sheriff: Where are you headed, there?

Sheriff: Where are you headed up to?

Sheriff: How are you doing there, bud?

Sheriff: Huh? Are you okay?

Sheriff: Where are you headed?

Sheriff: You headed down the road, there, huh?

Sheriff: (grunts)

Sheriff: Huh?

Sheriff: Where are you coming from?

Woody Grant: Yeah?

[last lines]

Woody Grant: So long, Albert.

Uncle Albert: So long, Woody.

David Grant: So, you told the Sheriff you were walking to Nebraska?

Woody Grant: That's right. To get my million dollars.

Woody Grant: I haven't been drinking.

Kate Grant: That's what you said on our first date.

Woody Grant: I'm not trusting the mail with a million dollars.