Wood Hite Quotes in The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (2007)

Charley Ford: Hey, Dick, you ever diddled a squaw?

Dick Liddil: Shh...

Charley Ford: Come on, you can tell me. I've always wanted to lay down with a redskin.

Dick Liddil: Well, Charley, there's a feeling that comes over you gettin' inside a woman whose hands have scalped a congregation.

Wood Hite: There's a thunderous sound that comes from their cooch on account of the fact that they birth a child standing upright like a wild animal.

Charley Ford: What's it sound like?

Wood Hite: Whatever a thunderous cooch sounds like, Charley. I don't know.

Dick Liddil: No, they got a noisy quim on account of the fact that they use their cunnies as a saddlebag to carry tundries across the planes.

Charley Ford: Come on, what'd it really feel like? It feel good? Come on. Fess up, now.

Dick Liddil: I like you, Charley.

Wood Hite: I like you too, Charley.

Dick Liddil: Did you cook this, ma'am?

Sarah Hite: I've got a nigga woman.

Major George Hite: [short of hearing] How's that?

Sarah Hite: [louder and slower] Dick asked if I cooked this!

Major George Hite: Did ya?

Sarah Hite: ...No!

Wood Hite: [whispering to Dick] She knew what he was like when she married him.

Wood Hite: [about Dick] His philanderin' ways have instigated such malice. He's a yellow snake in the grass and can't be trusted.

Wilbur Ford: Dick told me a complete other version of that affair.

Robert Ford: [upstairs, waking Dick] Wood Hite's downstairs.

Wood Hite: You mean he's here?

[Bob and Dick grab their Colts and ready themselves]

Wood Hite: Oh, I'm a good old rebel, Now thats just what I am, And for this yankee nation, I do no give a damn. I'm glad I fought a ganner, I only wish we won. I aint asked any pardon for anything I've done. I hates the yankee nation and eveything they do. I hates the declaration of independence, too. I hates the glorious union, just dripping with our blood. I hates the striped banner, and fitted all I could.

Martha Bolton: Why did you and Dick get into a scrape about?

Wood Hite: Well, he tampered with my daddy's wife while a pork chop burned on the skillet, so I shot him.