Woman Quotes in The Fifth Element (1997)


Woman Quotes:

  • DJ Ruby Rhod: There's the Emperor and his lovely daughter. "I love to sing," she recently confessed to me!

    [aside to Korben]

    DJ Ruby Rhod: By the way, I have a recording of her talented voice...

    [He touches a button on his cane. A recording plays]

    Woman: [moaning] Uh-huh, oh yeah, uh-huh!

  • [first lines]

    Frank Moses: [on the phone] 943-66-2291. Pension Services, please.

    Woman: Thank you, Mr. Moses, please hold for your representative.

  • Detective Del Spooner: It's okay, you can relax. I'm a police officer.

    Woman: You... are an *asshole*. Your lucky I can't breathe otherwise I'd be walking all up and down your ass.

  • Basil: Did we get Dr. Evil?

    Radar Operator: No, sir, he got away in that big spaceship that looks like a huge...

    Teacher: Penis. The male reproductive organ. Also known as tallywhacker, schlong, or...

    Friendly Dad: Wiener? Any of your kids want another wiener?

    Friendly Son: Dad, what's that?

    Friendly Dad: I don't know, son, but it has great big...

    Peanut Vendor: Nuts. Hot, salty nuts. Who wants some?...

    Peanut Vendor: Lord Almighty!

    Woman: That looks just like my husband's...

    Circus Barker: ONE-EYED MONSTER. Step right up and see the One-eyed Monster!

    Cyclops: RARRR.

    Cyclops: Hey, what's that? It looks like a...

    Fan: Woody. Woody Harrelson. Could I have your autograph?

    Woody: Sure. Oh, my Lord! Look at that thing!

    Fan: It's so huge.

    Woody: No, I've seen bigger. That's...

    Dr. Evil: Just a little prick.

  • Jack Ryan: Where are you taking me, Marty?

    Marty Cantor: It's you who have taken us, Jack...

    Woman: Satellite now entering target area.

    Marty Cantor: ...Into battle.

    Woman: Enlargement Sector Four. Airborne Support approaching target area. E.T.A. Thirty five seconds.

  • General Zod: No one may leave without my permis -

    [spots Willie escaping on horseback]

    General Zod: I said no one leaves!

    [at Zod's direction, Non hurls a projectile, obliterating Willie and his horse]

    Woman: He was only a boy!

    Ursa: Who will never become a man!

  • [the scene flips back and forth through time, between the bank holdup, where Ned dictates a letter with the aid of others around him, and Premier Berry who reads Ned's letter to his subordinates]

    Ned Kelly: So, if I can beg your patience, this is my statement to the Premier of Victoria, Graham Berry, and you here are my witnesses. Joe, take out a pen and paper. We'll write ourselves a letter. Dear sir. Dear sir.

    Premier Berry: "Dear sir, I wish to acquaint you with some of the occurrences of the present, past and the future. It will pay government to give those people who are suffering..."

    Ned Kelly: ...justice and liberty.

    Premier Berry: "... justice and liberty. I seek revenge for the evil name given me and my relations. By the light that shines, this is my warning."

    Ned Kelly: My brother and sisters and mother have to put up with the brutal and cowardly conduct of a parcel of...

    Premier Berry: "... big, ugly..."

    Ned Kelly: ...big, ugly, fat-necked...

    Premier Berry: "... fat-necked..."

    Dan Kelly: ...wombat-headed...

    Ned Kelly: ...wombat-headed...

    Premier Berry: "... wombat headed, big-bellied..."

    Woman: ...magpie-legged...

    Ned Kelly: ...magpie-legged - thank you very much, ma'am; Joe, write that down - magpie-legged...

    Premier Berry: "... narrow-hipped, splaw-footed, sons of Irish bailiffs..."

    Ned Kelly: ...or English landlords, better known as - what? - Victorian police.

    Premier Berry: [to the Superintendent Hare] This section here you might find less amusing, Superintendent.

    Ned Kelly: I give fair warning to all those who have reason to fear me not to attempt to reside in Victoria. Neglect this and abide by the consequences, which shall be worse than the rust in the wheat. I do not wish to give this order full force without timely warning but I am a widow's son outlawed and my orders must be obeyed!

  • Woman: Mike, you have a call on your private line...

    Roark: Oh, that'll be my little girl wanting a tattoo.

  • Mr. Samuel Erroll: [during roll call] Big Fat Ugly Bug-Faced Baby Eating-O'Brien?

    Woman: [a beautiful woman with a deep voice] Aye.

    [officers stand aghast for a moment]

    Mr. Samuel Erroll: Angel Marie?

    Angel Marie: [an ugly creature] Aye! Aye!

  • Small Boy: Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird.

    Woman: It's a plane.

    Man: It's a frog.

    Crowd: A frog?

    Shoeshine Boy: It's not a bird, or a plane, or even frog. It's just little old me, Underdog.

  • Cole: Ma'am, do me a favor, turn around and cover your eyes.

    Woman: Why?

    Cole: Cuz I'm gonna shoot this man and I don't think you wanna see it.

    [Woman turns]

    Cole: Thank you.

  • [after Nick has broken down an apartment door]

    Woman: Where's my door?

    Bernadette Flynn: On the floor.

  • Woman: [referring to cigarettes] Funny, now that I know these things won't kill me, I don't enjoy them.

  • Ferrari: Forget about it! just give him a beating for an hour or two.

    Woman: Ferrari, why does he want to hurt you?

    Ferrari: Ever since i fought for women's rights in the new territories many people started to hate. People have even tried to assasinate me!

  • Woman: Getting into trouble a little early today, aren't we, Aladdin?

    Aladdin: Trouble? No way. You're only in trouble if you get caught.

    Razoul: [snatching Aladdin by the collar] Gotcha!

    Aladdin: I'm in trouble.

  • King Arthur: I am your king.

    Woman: Well, I didn't vote for you.

    King Arthur: You don't vote for kings.

    Woman: Well how'd you become king then?

    [Angelic music plays... ]

    King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king.

    Dennis: [interrupting] Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

  • Woman: Oh. How do you do?

    King Arthur: How do you do, good lady? I am Arthur, King of the Britons. Whose castle is that?

    Woman: King of the who?

    King Arthur: King of the Britons.

    Woman: Who are the Britons?

    King Arthur: Well, we all are. We are all Britons. And I am your king.

    Woman: I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective.

    Dennis: You're foolin' yourself! We're living in a dictatorship. A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working class...

    Woman: Oh, there you go bringing class into it again.

    Dennis: Well, that's what it's all about! If only people would...

    King Arthur: Please, please, good people, I am in haste. Who lives in that castle?

    Woman: No one lives there.

    King Arthur: Then who is your lord?

    Woman: We don't have a lord.

    Dennis: I told you, we're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to be a sort of executive officer for the week...

    King Arthur: Yes...

    Dennis: ...but all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting...

    King Arthur: Yes I see...

    Dennis: ...by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs...

    King Arthur: Be quiet!

    Dennis: ...but by a two thirds majority in the case of...

    King Arthur: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!

    Woman: Order, eh? Who does he think he is?

  • Woman: Dennis! There's some lovely filth down here!

  • Larry Daley: Sorry, I don't mean to stare. You just look very familiar.

    Woman: I get that a lot.

  • [last lines]

    Larry Daley: You know, a good place to check out is the miniatures.

    Woman: Can you take me there? I always get lost.

    Larry Daley: Yeah, no, sure. Yeah, come on...

  • Rizwan Khan: [first day selling] Mehnaz Herbal Beauty Products will make you glow like a newly-wed bride.

    Woman: I'm divorced.

    Rizwan Khan: Uh oh. We don't have anything for the newly-divorced.

  • Woman: Did you get your injuries when the volcano blew up, in the hot lava?

    Alec McKuen: Oh no. No, it happened in Edinburgh at our wedding.

    Jenny: He was in such a hurry leaving the church, he fell all the way down the steps.

    Woman: Oh! You poor wee bride. After all that waiting. It's been no marriage for you at all.

    Jenny: You underestimate Alec.

  • Woman: [a German paratrooper has died while rescuing a drowning girl, revealing the plot to kidnap Churchill] Colonel, I understand none of this. And I don't wish you well. But i'm grateful for the life of my child.

    Colonel Kurt Steiner: So am I.

  • Woman: Hey You. You want a woman.

    Pat Morrison: [after a long foot chase] I'm too tired.

  • Woman: They act like Gypsies.

  • Woman: You do a girl tolerable poor.

  • Woman: Dirty Gypsy trash!

    Bride's Mother: She's a disgrace to the town.

    Bride: She laughed at my wedding and made dirty remarks at my Manuelito.

    Bride's Mother: [Carmen spits at her. The bride's mother slaps her, and Carmen pushes her, knocking over a jar of milk] Did you see what she did?

    Bride: And the milk! See what she's done to the milk?

    Carmen García: I spit in you milk!


    Carmen García: And the milk of your old turtle of a mother!


    Carmen García: And at the poor excuse of a woman who married Manuelito!


    Bride: Who did he marry, huh? Me! Not you, Gypsy garbage! Nobody would!

  • Woman: [question from the audience] Now you are recognized everywhere. How do you deal with all the attention?

    Stephen Hawking: [speaking through his computer] I was stopped recently by a tourist in Cambridge, who asked if I was the real Stephen Hawking. I replied I was not, and said the real one was much better looking.

    Man: In 1979, you talked about the possibility of a theory of everything being discovered before the end of the century.

    Stephen Hawking: I now predict that I was wrong.

  • Woman: [to Papillon as he is marched aboard ship bound for penal colony] Papillon! Papi! You'll be back, Papillon. Don't worry, you'll be back.

    Julot: No, you won't.

  • [last lines]

    Alan Bennett (2014): [arriving on bicycle] Hi.

    Woman: [taking the bicycle] Hi, Alan.

    Director: Okay, take 14. And, action!

    Alan Bennett: Gloucester Crescent has had many notable residents, but none odder or more remarkable than Miss Mary Shepherd, to whom we dedicate this blue plaque today.

  • [At Anne Boleyn's execution]

    Man: Well, one must admit, she died like a queen.

    Woman: Yes. And that frock, wasn't it too divine?

    Man: Was it? I didn't notice.

    Woman: No, you wouldn't. You wouldn't notice that I haven't had a new gown for a year.

    Man: All right, all right, you shall have one... for *your* execution!

  • [first lines]

    Woman: [voiceover] How do you want me?

    Man: Oh, that's good. Yeah. Just, uh... just get comfortable.

    Woman: I'm a little nervous.

    Man: Nah, you're doing great.

  • Woman: [holding a grocery bag] What's going on?

    Frank: You tell anyone about this and I'll fucking kill you. I'm kidding, I'm kidding, we'll have him home by tonight. Okay, sweetie.

    [reaches into the grocery bag and takes out cheese balls]

  • Little Girl: [Bruce is lying in bed, asleep. Suddenly, he begins to hear thousands of voices in his head, causing him to wake up. Several are loud enough to make out] Please bless my mommy, my daddy, and especially my little sister.

    Man #1: Please help me Lord. Please get me through this one.

    Woman: I need you Lord. I'm desperate. And you alone, can take control of my future.

    Man #2: All I'm asking, Lord, is that you help me.

    Little Girl: Thank you for everything else in my life. Amen.

  • [first lines]

    Woman: [voiceover] You know the expression, "a man's man". A man's man is the leader of the pack, the kind of man other men look up to, admire, and emulate. A man's man is the kind of man who - just doesn't get what women are about.

    Gigi: Nick, my ex-husband, is the ultimate man's man. I probably never should have married him. I don't think he understood a thing about me.

  • Woman: What's a mother to do? Lazy brat sits in her room all day, sewing dolls. Children misbehaving in the basement! And one in the wall, doing his business God knows where. You kids will be the death of me... the death of me.

  • Ruby Williams: What're you gonna do, shoot us all?

    Woman: You'll do!

    Alice: No!

    [drops out of the ceiling and knocks the Woman's head against the floor]

    Ruby Williams: Damn, she knocked that bitch cold!

    Second man: Look at her, what they doing to her in there?

  • Man: May they burn in hell.

    Woman: Forever and ever in hell.

  • Woman: You didn't lick this, did you?

  • Man: Some niggers robbed the store.

    Woman: Again? May they burn in hell.

    Man: I'm very tense from this.

    Woman: You have one of your headaches?

    Man: Ooh... very VERY tense about this.

    Woman: Alice has been bad. She's been feeding that thing between the walls again.

    Alice: No... no...

    Woman: Remember not to bruise her face.

    [Woman leaves. Man begins taking off his belt to punish Alice]

    Man: Bad girls... burn in hell.

  • Woman: I don't want to see another cop or cookie in my life. I don't know which one makes me sicker.

  • [catching Roach and Fool in Alice's room with her]

    Woman: You viper in my bosom! You little Judas!

    Man: What are we gonna do with 'em, Mommy?

    Woman: It is time to clean house! Total... spring... cleaning.

  • Woman: How dare he come into our happy home!

    Man: He came back to get Alice! You should have let me kill her!

    Woman: You stay away from Alice!

    Man: She did it with him! I know it!

    Woman: Not my little girl!

    Man: She's a whore!

  • Ruby Williams: My name is Ruby Williams and I represent the association of people who have been unjustly evicted, exploited and generally fucked over.

    Woman: What?

    Ruby Williams: You and your brother are landlords of over 50 buildings in this city, ALL of which you've allowed to deteriorate into rat infested hellholes while you guys get rich charging ridiculous rents. THEN, you evict anyone the minute they can't pay rent so you can tear down their homes and build some more office buildings, isn't that about right?

  • Woman: Get off my property!

    Grandpa Booker: Just want to finish saying our piece, ma'am.

    Ruby Williams: Not only are you bad landlords but 10 times worse. You've stolen all the children from our community for your own sick needs!

    Woman: There's no community here, all I see are a couple of ni...

    [the entire neighborhood comes up behind Ruby and Booker]

    First man: Ruby, right here!

    First woman: Got that right!

    Second woman: We busted your ass, bitch!

    Ruby Williams: What're you gonna do, shoot us all?

  • Woman: Then she can burn in hell. Both of them.

  • Woman: Where's the Bear Trooper?

    Man: Dead meat. I could've killed him, but I let the people under the stairs do it.

  • Woman: I'm sorry, sir, but smoking is not permitted.

    William B. Tensy: Oh, terribly sorry.

    [drops cigarette in her wine glass]

    William B. Tensy: Nazi...

  • [Clouseau bumps into a woman dressed as Cleopatra. He hands back her rubber snake]

    Woman: Take your filthy hands off my asp!

  • Woman: I've never really known another man like him. He can keep ten girls in the air at once and make each one happy.

    Princess Dala: Amazing, sort of a contemporary Don Juan?

  • Billy: [about his grandma] She passed away.

    Woman: [gently] Oh dear, that's very sad.

    Irving Zisman: Well, it's not so sad. She was kind of a bitch, but yeah.

    Woman: [gasps] Jeez. My goodness!

    Irving Zisman: Well, gotta call a spade a spade.

  • [first lines]

    Man 1: [voiceover] Quiet on the set.

    Woman: [voiceover] OK, everybody, quiet on the set.

    Man 2: [voiceover] Scene 1, take 10. Marker.

    Man 1: [voiceover] And - action!

  • Woman: [to Man] If I wanted to have sex I'd go out and find someone who was actually sexy.

  • Woman: You're disrupting my whole life.

    The Man: All I am is good for you.

  • Woman: I just thought of one more rule. If you get a boner, you're out.

  • Booger: Excuse me, miss. I just want you to know that I don't intend to sleep with another woman until I'm back here in your arms with my head resting between your creamy thighs.

    [Woman slaps Booger hard]

    Woman: JERK!

  • Gord Brody: I'm looking for a David Davidson.

    Woman: I'm a woman.

    Gord Brody: Did I ask what sex you are?

    Woman: No.

    Gord Brody: Did I ask if you were David Davidson?

    Woman: My name is Cheryl.

  • Woman: Need some help?

    Dr. John Dolittle: Oh, no, I'm - we're - we're fine. I'm just stretching my legs a little here.

    Rodney: Ask her if she's got any lettuce.

    Dr. John Dolittle: Shut your mouth. Shut your furry little mouth right now!

  • Woman: Sorry the stuff's so ratty, but this is a six-team league, and I'm afraid your boys are getting the

    [looking at Toby]

    Woman: S-H-l-T end of the stick.

    Morris Buttermaker: [to Toby] Yeah, I can spell "shit", alright. Does she think I'm 11?

  • Woman: Jerry, I need two Rum Collins, two Jack Daniels, one on the rocks, and a Heineken.

    Bartender: [to Henry] What'll it be?

    Henry: Jerry, I need two Rum Collins, two Jack Daniels, one on the rocks, and a Heineken. Please.

  • [last lines]

    Woman: [calling in to radio show] I think he's a real hero.

  • Woman: Excuse me, does your dog bite?

    Arlo Pear: Ma'am, that dog hasn't farted since March '78.

  • Woman: Agnes? Did you see who moved in next door?

    Agnes: Yes. Black as the ace of spades, they were.

    Woman: Oh, well. There goes the neighbourhood!

  • [Alcohol is poured into Richard Clark's coffee cup by a burned-out looking alcoholic teacher]

    Richard Clark: Isn't it a little early to start drinking?

    Woman: Who stops?

  • Woman: We took the kids to Florida and stopped in Virginia to see the "Tomb of the Unborn Baby".

  • Woman: The illusion of effortlessness requires a great effort indeed.

  • Man: [in bed, before they are about to have sex] What are you thinking?

    Woman: That it's probably a mistake.

    Man: You don't have to do this.

    Woman: As if the act in itself mattered.

    [... ]

    Woman: It's technicality. Don't you know what we're already done?

  • Man: If I told you I still loved you, that I always loved you, that I loved you to distraction, would you leave him?

    Woman: No.

  • Woman: There are no happy endings in our future.

  • Man: Why did you come, really?

    Woman: Do you want me to say I was hoping I'd see you?

    Man: Yes - and I want you to mean it.

    Woman: You're so romantic...

    Man: By romantic, you mean old fashioned?

    Woman: No, by romantic, I mean romantic.

  • Man: I thought married women aren't supposed to be Bridesmaids.

    Woman: Who says?

    Man: Bridesmaids are brides in training, they're like matrimonial interns.

    Woman: Ah, it's just a small custom.

    Man: Bridesmaids are supposed to be virgins.

    Woman: Well, I don't see any virgins out there, did you?

    Man: I didn't check.

  • Woman: You're just a dirty old pervert.

    Man: Yes, I am. But I'm your dirty old pervert.

  • Woman: Tell me, how old is umm... Sarah the Dancer.

    Man: Oh, she's a... she's a college graduate.

    Woman: Her age?

    Man: She's a recent college graduate.

    Woman: Yeah, like 21.

    Man: 22.

    [Woman walks away. Man follows]

    Man: But she's 23 on August the 12th!

    Woman: 23 on August the 12th... Well, that's a beautiful age.

    Man: Why would you wanna know?

    Woman: You know why I wanted to know.

    Man: Maybe I do. Say it anyway.

    Woman: I wanted to know because I wanted to know. I wanted know if you were flirting with me.

    Man: What does Sarah's age have to do with it?

    Woman: I am the same age as you, I think, and a man, my age, who prefers 23 on August the 12th might not flirt with someone who is... lets just say 15 years past 23 on August the 12th.

  • Man: You're 38 and you look it.

    Woman: Fuck you.

    Man: Right. And next year you're 39, and then 40. And after 40 you may as well die.

    Woman: Thanks.

    Man: If the cardiologist is, decides that you are too old and decrepit and ugly to be at all lovable, I am available to tolerate you in your golden years.

    Woman: Thank you.

  • Man: What was your ex-husband like?

    Woman: You know perfectly well what he was like.

    Man: Mmhmm, refresh my memory.

    Woman: No.

    Man: Honestly I can't remember - the memory starts to go around forty, you know.

    Woman: [sigh] He was red. He was kind of yellow - and black, and pink, and orange, and blue.

    Man: What the fuck does that...

    Woman: Magenta, purple, maybe a bit of maroon...

    Man: Hey! What does that mean?

    Woman: I don't know! It's what I see when I close my eyes.

  • Woman: I'm sorry. Come here. It was just something... it was just different. I didn't expect it. You used to be so thin. I mean you were insubstantial, really.

    Man: God, the complements keep coming.

    Woman: Yeah, but now... Now, you know what? Look at it this way. There's a grandness to you.Like, you know, the rings in a tree trunk asserting the passage of the time: Like "I have earned the right to fill up more space in the one universe."

    Man: That's bullshit.

    Woman: I tried.

  • Man: What's it like being a doctor's wife?

    Woman: A bit better than being a lawyer's wife. My first husband was a lawyer, so you see I have experienced both.

    Man: And what's the difference?

    Woman: The lawyer wore nicer suits.

  • Woman: [Man takes off his t-shirt] Oh my god, you're fat.

    [Man puts his t-shirt back on]

    Man: I am not.

    Woman: Yea, you are. You're far fatter than you're used to be.

    Man: And you're far crueler than you used to be.

  • Woman: Don't worry about him, he's just trying to get laid.

  • Woman: A woman never has a man's intense focus as much as she does before sex.

  • Woman: [on phone] I'm having, um, you know french fries, french onion soup and um, french toast I think and a pickle. Hm? Yeah, it's all very french except for the pickle.

  • Woman: But sometimes, people who really love each other, well, they have an uncanny knack for making each other miserable.

  • Harrison Ford: Is this a principal role? I mean, 'cause, I came here for a principal role! They said it was a principal role.

    Woman: Well, this is what we're casting today.

    Harrison Ford: This is two lines. I'm not doin' two lines. I didn't come here for two lines. I was told this was a principal role!

  • [last lines]

    Woman: [to Mr. Bascomb the dog] May I have your autograph, please?

    [the dog signs]

    Woman: Oh, wonderful! Thank you!

  • Woman: Are you the Ethereal Lucy?

    Monte: That's Lucy the Ethereal.

    Woman: And who might you be?

    Monte: Monte... the Emasculated.

  • [first lines]

    Title Card: The godfather was born Vito Andolini, in the town of Corleone in Sicily. In 1901 his father was murdered for an insult to the local Mafia chieftain. His older brother Paolo swore revenge and disappeared into the hills, leaving Vito, the only male heir, to stand with his mother at the funeral. He was nine years old.

    [gunshots and screams]

    Woman: [subtitled from Italian] They've killed the boy! They've killed young Paolo! They've killed your son Paolo!

  • [last lines]

    Malcolm: I'm just, uh, looking for something new. Something to inspire me.

    Woman: Great. Let me show you around.

  • [first lines]

    Aibileen Clark: I was born 1911, Chicksaw County, Piedmont Plantation.

    Woman: And did you know as a girl growing up that one day you'd be a maid?

    Aibileen Clark: Yes ma'am, I did.

    Woman: And you knew that because...

    Aibileen Clark: My mama was a maid. My grandmama was a house slave.

    Woman: [whispering as she writes down] "house slave..." Did you ever dream of being something else?

    Aibileen Clark: [nods yes]

    Woman: What does it feel like to raise a white child when your own child's at home being looked after by somebody else?

  • Woman: What makes saloonkeepers so snobbish?

    Banker: Perhaps if you told him I ran the second largest banking house in Amsterdam.

    Carl: Second largest? That wouldn't impress Rick. The leading banker in Amsterdam is now the pastry chef in our kitchen.

    Banker: We have something to look forward to.

  • Woman: I think I've seen you somewhere... I remember! You were with that man they took away; I recognize your face.

    Peter: You've got the wrong man, lady! I don't know him! And I wasn't where he was tonight, never near the place.

    Man: That's strange, for I am sure I saw you with him. You were right by his side, and yet you denied.

    Peter: I tell you I was never, ever with him!

    Soldier: But I saw you too; it looked just like you!

    Peter: I don't know him!

    Mary Magdalene: Peter, don't you know what you just said? You've gone and called him dead.

    Peter: I had to do it, don't you see? Or else they'd go for me!

    Mary Magdalene: It's what he told us you would do. I wonder how he knew?

  • [first lines]

    Man#1: Don't be afraid.

    Man#2: Do you believe in sin?

    Woman: [whispering] There's nothing to believe.

  • Woman: I never performed a ice pick lobotomy before.

  • Woman: What do you want?

    Will Young: Oh, we was wondering if we could do some chores in exchange for a dollar. Swill your pigs, clean out your barn... whatever you say.

    Woman: You can scat! I don't hire saddle tramps.

    Les Richter: Ain't you heard lady? Money is like manure. It's only good when you spread it around.

  • Entomologist Niki Jumpei: Living here is like building a house on water when a boat would make more sense. Such rigid thinking. It has to be a house or nothing at all.

    Woman: But don't you want to go home too?

    Entomologist Niki Jumpei: That's different.

  • Entomologist Niki Jumpei: Shall I - brush off the sand?

    Woman: But, aren't all the city girls prettier than me?

    Entomologist Niki Jumpei: Nonsense! Give me the cloth.

  • Entomologist Niki Jumpei: Isn't my underwear dry yet?

    Woman: You shouldn't wear anything in bed.

    Entomologist Niki Jumpei: Why not?

    Woman: You'll get rashes from the sand.

    Entomologist Niki Jumpei: Rashes?

    Woman: The sand draws moisture.

  • Entomologist Niki Jumpei: I don't get it. Doesn't all this seem pointless to you? Are you shoveling sand to live or living to shovel sand?

    Woman: I know it's not as fun as Tokyo.

    Entomologist Niki Jumpei: I'm not talking about Tokyo!

  • Entomologist Niki Jumpei: How can you stand being trapped like this?

    Woman: This is my home.

    Entomologist Niki Jumpei: Then demand your rights.

  • Woman: There's nothing for me to do on the outside.

    Entomologist Niki Jumpei: You could walk around.

    Woman: Walk around?

    Entomologist Niki Jumpei: Yes! It's great to walk around freely!

    Woman: Isn't it exhausting, just walking around aimlessly?

  • Entomologist Niki Jumpei: This isn't funny! Even dogs go crazy chained up all day! And we're human beings!

    Woman: But you see, if it wasn't for the sand, no one would bother about me. Isn't that right?

  • Entomologist Niki Jumpei: I failed.

    Woman: Shall I wipe you off?

    Entomologist Niki Jumpei: I didn't know the geography, that's why.

  • Woman: I'm so frightened every morning when I go to sleep that I'll wake up alone again. That really frightens me.

  • Woman: What? We're not perverts!

  • Entomologist Niki Jumpei: Where is everyone? Your family?

    Woman: I live alone. Last year a storm swallowed up my husband and daughter.

    Entomologist Niki Jumpei: Swallowed up?

    Woman: The sand roared down like a waterfall. He went out to save the chicken coop.

    Entomologist Niki Jumpei: And got buried?

    Woman: It was a horrible gale.

    Entomologist Niki Jumpei: That's awful. That's really awful.

  • Woman: This village has real local spirit.

    Entomologist Niki Jumpei: What kind of spirit?

    Woman: Love of our birthplace.

    Entomologist Niki Jumpei: I see, a good thing, indeed!

  • Woman: But you do understand, don't you?

    Entomologist Niki Jumpei: Understand? What's there to understand?

    Woman: But you know...

  • [last lines]

    Woman: Hawaiians remember Princess Ka'iulani as the hope she brought to her people. The flame of our great chiefess burns brightly in the soul of our nation.

  • Woman: Now I am completely calm. I see a little bit further. I see this is not the end yet. Everything goes on. Taurus, Pearl and Luchs will not return. But something new is approaching, and I cannot escape it. The memory, the grief and the fear will remain and there will be hard work as long as I live.

  • Woman: Where do all these objects come from?... How does it happen that these things are made and not others? Of course, there are only a limited number of workers in the world. And each day they do a limited number of things: some things and not other things. Who tells them what they ought to do? The holders of money. They bid their money for the things they want and each bit of money determines some fraction of the day's activities. So the people who have a little determine a little and the people who have a *lot* determine a *lot*, and the people who have nothing determine... nothing.

  • Henry: Susan wants to tell you something!

    Buzz Collins: Well, I'm listening!

    [Susan dances]

    Older Man: What's she saying?

    Henry: She says you've got to wait for Woody! He's bringing the money!

    Buzz Collins: I didn't hear her say anything!

    Woman: Naturally. She was born silent.

    Husband: One of the few women ever was.

    Henry: Sure, Mister! She don't do talk-talk, she does foot-talk!

    Buzz Collins: 'Foot-talk?' That's ridiculous! What's she saying now?

  • Woman: I'm not a demon! I'm a human being!

  • Cornelia van Gorder: [on the phone] Yes will you connect me to Dr. Malcolm Wells' office please? ...No I don't know his number and I have no phone book up here but it's an emergency, will you connect me please?

    Lizzie Allen: Dear oh dear, I'm going to get the rabies!

    Woman: Hello?

    Cornelia van Gorder: Hello! Dr. Wells' Office?

    Woman: This is the call service. Dr. Wells is out at the moment but if you'll give me your name, I'll try to locate him.

    Cornelia van Gorder: Well this is Miss Van Gorder at the Oaks. My maid has just been bitten by a bat that may be rabid and she must have medical treatment as soon as possible. And I was told that Dr. Wells is the nearest physician.

    Woman: I'll try to locate him for you but if I can't, I'll send you another doctor.

    Cornelia van Gorder: Well thank you very much.

    [hangs up]

    Cornelia van Gorder: Oh he's out on a case! I hope it's not a delivery, a baby I mean they can be terribly complicated!

    Lizzie Allen: It never bothered me none.

    Cornelia van Gorder: Oh Lizzie, you never had a baby.

    Lizzie Allen: Of course I didn't, that's why it never bothered me!

  • Woman: [Man gets stabbed and makes painful, groaning sound] What? Did you say something honey?

  • Woman: Minister. I'm just so unhappy. So unhappy.

    Balor: To expect happiness in this life is a form of arrogance.

  • Woman: Excuese me. May I ask you a question? Do you think it's appropriate to dance in a graveyard?

    Clive: Don't you think that we should dance while we can?

    Woman: I think you should have more respect for the dead and especially for yourself.

    Gypsy: Excuse me?

    Woman: I didn't want to mention this, but you could be a very pretty girl, but that

    [points at Gypsy's cleavage bearing ensemble]

    Woman: would be inappropriate for any young lady. Especially for someone your size.

    Gypsy: Look, Granny, I am a pretty girl, ok? Big is beautiful. Haven't you heard? And for the record, I don't give a flying fuck or a rolling rimjob what you or anyone else thinks of me. You're dismissed.

  • Woman: Could I get a ticket to Gardner Field, Montana?

    Second Airline Ticket Agent: Gardner Field, Montana?

    Woman: That's right.

    Second Airline Ticket Agent: Is this a business trip?

    Woman: No, I want to go home. My husband's there, my children are with him.

    Second Airline Ticket Agent: I'm sorry, madam. All flights to Gardner Field have been discontinued.

    Woman: Discontinued? For how long?

    Second Airline Ticket Agent: I'm afraid... permanently.

    Woman: There hasn't been an attack?

    Second Airline Ticket Agent: Early this morning.

    Woman: Was it... was it serious?

    Second Airline Ticket Agent: An A bomb.

  • Bridie Quilty: I'm 21; I'm me own mistress.

    Woman: That's an occupation that could change hands overnight.

  • Woman: They may call you Black Deering, but by God, you're white!

Browse more character quotes from The Fifth Element (1997)