Wirf Quotes in Nobody's Fool (1994)

Sully: I can't believe it's gonna take you that long to get me out of jail.

Wirf: Don't blame me, I'm a Jew. They're not my holidays.

Sully: A Jew? Really? I didn't know that. How come you ain't smart?

Wirf: How can I start getting you out of jail when you won't go in?

Sully: I should have known better than to hire a one-legged lawyer.

Wirf: You can't afford a two-legged lawyer.

Sully: What's the matter with you?

Wirf: I'm trying to communicate with you telepathically.

Carl Roebuck: Forget about it. The only way to communicate with Sully's to whack him in the head with a shovel.

[Wirf and Sully bet on the People's Court]

Sully: Okay, Shyster, who do you like?

Wirf: The plaintiff. It's a lock.

Sully: I'll take the defendant.

Birdy: You weren't even here for the stories.

Sully: Yeah, but I know my lawyer.

Wirf: Sooner or later we'll wear the bastards down. The court is already starting to get pissed. You heard the judge.

Sully: He's pissed at you, Wirf!

Wirf: Only because he knows I won't go away.

Sully: I know how he feels.

Wirf: You'd keep my leg, wouldn't you?

Sully: You don't need a leg, you need a parrot.