Windows Quotes in Fanboys (2009)

[last lines]

Eric: Hey guys.

Windows: What?

Hutch: What, man?

Eric: What if the movie sucks?

Windows: You guys both got to stop perpetuating this myth that Boba Fett is some kind of bad-ass. All right? He has a jet pack. So did the Rocketeer. Really cool. When it comes time for battle, the man's Michael Bay - all style, no substance.

Hutch: If you diss the Fett the again, I will corn-hole you with a lightsaber!

[laying down together, Windows spooning Zoe]

Zoe: That better be your lucky R2 poking me.

Windows: Nope. My penis.

Crystal: We're not hookers, we're escorts!

Windows: The difference being...?

Crystal: I don't know.

Windows: What's your game plan?

Eric: We storm the ranch or we die trying.

Windows: Yeah.

Hutch: Rule number one: In my van, it's Rush. All Rush, all the time. No exceptions. Rule number two: Nobody touch the red button. And I mean never touch the red button. Most importantly, rule number three: There's no jerking it in my van!

Windows: [throwing up his hands] Fine...

Hutch: [amid laughter] Don't roll your eyes at ME, Admiral Jackbar!

Windows: Stop humping. Please stop humping. Just high five.

Hutch: Oh, God. I'm Jabba the Hump.

Windows: So, we're all hunky-dory? We're all copacetic?

Roach: Well, if the word "copacetic" means I'm gonna rip off your tongue and lick your ass with it, then yeah, we're copacetic.

Linus: Official Episode 1 countdown is six months, 12 days, eight hours and some change.

Windows: I would sell my soul to see that movie right here right now.

Hutch: Dude, I would sell my left nut. And I only have the one nut. So you see how serious I am?

Admiral Seasholtz: Okay. Hilarious, everyone. Looks like we got more Lucas hounds here to mock Roddenberry. Congratulations, gentleman, but I would like to see your Darth Vader take on one Borg drone. And we'll see who's laughing then. Am I right?

Windows: Darth Vader can put the entire Borg collective in a vice grip with his mind.

Admiral Seasholtz: Uh, Darth Vader has asthma, so name me one Star Trek character with a respiratory disease, 'cause I'm drawing a blank.

Linus: Name me one Star Wars character who's gay.

Hutch: Beside's you.

Admiral Seasholtz: Well, no one's gay in Star Trek, so why would I even do that?

Linus: Captain Picard.

Admiral Seasholtz: Okay. Captain Picard is not gay. He's British.

Windows: [in a swishy voice] Come on. "Make it so!"

Windows: Harrison Ford is the greatest actor of all time!

Eric: In the history of cinema?

Windows: He's Han Solo, Indiana Jones. Yes!

Eric: Deckard from Blade Runner.

Windows: Yes. Exactly. Greatest actor of all time. He's never done a bad movie.

[the van drives by a billboard for the 1998 movie "Six Days, Seven Nights"]

[after having landed in the garbage disposal room]

Windows: I have a bad feeling about this.

Hutch: Um, you guys don't think that the, um...

Linus: We are in George Lucas' trash room.

Eric: Don't be ridiculous, okay? The walls are not gonna close in on us.

[the walls begin to move in]

Windows: I met her in a Jedi chatroom. The woman is perfect. She's intelligent and acerbic, and a die-hard fan. She's even got connections inside the Lucas camp.

Linus: Who's also got a man package and a goatee.

Windows: You guys are all just jealous because she describes herself as a cross between Sarah Michelle Gellar and Janeane Garafolo.

Hutch: Tell 'em how you described yourself.

Windows: I was perfectly honest with her.

Linus: You said you look like a white Billy Dee Williams. You called yourself white chocolate.

Windows: I *am* white chocolate.

Head Of Security: Mr. Lucas is touched and mildly flattered by what have done here. And I have been informed that I feel the same way. So the charges are gonna be dropped. That is, of course, if you are what you appear to be.

Windows: Uh, what do we appear to be?

Head Of Security: Fanboys. Something we can easily determine with a simple quiz.

Hutch: I'm telling you, man. I took that Vulcan down hard. I rolled him into the dirt like he was my frickin tauntaun.

Eric: Tauntaun, my ass. If it wasn't for me, you guys would all be dead.

Windows: What fight were you watching? I was channeling the emperor.

Linus: The emperor? I don't remember the emperor crapping his robe and screaming "time-out."

Eric: Oh, my God. That's right.

Windows: There is such a thing as time-out.

Hutch: [imitating The Emperor] I can feel your anger growing inside. Wait. Time-out.

Hutch: What the hell are you doing, man? You're poking me.

Windows: Oh, God. Don't flatter yourself, okay? It's just my R2. My lucky R2.

Hutch: Man, you wish you had the height and girth of D2.

Windows: What's your new game plan?

Eric: Let's get in the van and get the hell outta here!

[first lines]

Hutch: [as Stormtrooper] Halloween just got awesome, bitches!

Linus: [as Stormtrooper] Prepare for the entrance of Lord Vader.

Windows: [as Darth Vader] Give yourself to the Dark Side. It's the only way you can save your...

Hutch: Dude, you're gonna be my Dak today, all right? Follow my lead.

Windows: Wait, wait. Whoa, whoa. You wanna just talk to them?

Hutch: Yeah. It's called having balls.

Zoe: Or in your case, one ball.

[after getting flashed by a woman passerby]

Windows: Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Eric: Shut up, man! It was a hundred miles ago! Stop living in the past!

Palmer: [arguing about letting MacReady back inside] Let's open the door.

Childs: Hell no!

Windows: Do you think he's changed into one of those Things?

Palmer: He's had plenty of time.

Childs: Nothing human could have made with back here through this weather without a guide line.

Palmer: Let's open the door now!

Childs: Why are you so anxious to let him back in here, Palmer?

Palmer: Because it's so close! Maybe it may be our best chance to blow it away!

Childs: No! Let's just let him freeze to death out there!

Windows: Childs, what if we're wrong about him?

Childs: Well then, we're wrong!

Garry: You reach anybody, yet?

Windows: Reach anybody? We're a thousand miles from nowhere, man, and it's gonna get a hell of a lot worse before it gets any better!

Windows: You guys gonna listen to Garry? You gonna let him give the orders? I mean, he could BE one of those THINGS!

MacReady: [facing a silent group] Anybody seen Fuchs? Somebody blew out a fuse in the lab. Lights where out in there for an hour; any ONE of us coulda gotten to him. All right, we gotta find him. Nauls, why don't you come with me and we'll look outside. Palmer, you and Windows check the inside.

Palmer: I ain't going with Windows. I ain't goin' with 'im. I'll go with Childs.

Windows: Hey, fuck you, Palmer!

Palmer: I ain't goin' with you!

Childs: Who says I want you goin' with ME?

MacReady: [emphatically] ALL RIGHT, CUT THE BULLSHIT!

[pause]

MacReady: Windows, you come with us. Norris, you stay here.

MacReady: [referring to Garry, Clack & Doc tied to the sofa] Any of them move, you fry 'em. You hear anything - anything at all - you cut loose on the sirens. We all meet back here in twenty minutes - REGARDLESS! And everybody watch whoever you're with... real close.