Willow Quotes in Willow (1988)

Willow: What are you doing?

Madmartigan: I found some blackroot. She loves it.

Willow: Blackroot? I'm the father of two children, and you never, ever give a baby blackroot.

Madmartigan: Well my mother raised us on it. It's good for you! It put's hair on your chest, right Sticks?

Willow: Her name is not Sticks! She's Elora Dannen, the future empress of Tir Asleen and the last thing she's gonna want is a hairy chest!

Willow: See this acorn? I'll throw it at you and turn you to stone!

Madmartigan: Ooh, I'm really scared. No! Don't! There's a- a peck here with an acorn pointed at me!

Madmartigan: What the hell happened up there?

Willow: You started spouting poetry. "I love you Sorsha! I worship you Sorsha!" You almost got us killed!

Madmartigan: "I love you Sorsha?" I don't love her, she kicked me in the face! I hate her... Don't I?

Willow: We need your help!

Madmartigan: [sarcastically] My help? Why would you need my help? You're a *sorcerer*.

Willow: You're a great warrior! And a swordsman!... And you're ten times bigger than I am, stupid!

Willow: Don't call me a peck!

Madmartigan: Oh, I'm sorry! Peck! Peck! Peck, peck, peck, peck, peck, peck, peck!

Willow: You stupid hag! With my magic, I'll send her into the... into a...

Bavmorda: [Bavmorda laughs] You're no sorcerer!

Willow: Into a realm where evil cannot touch her!

Bavmorda: Impossible! There's no such place!

Willow: Here are her changing rags and her milk bladder.

Madmartigan: Any milk in there?

Willow: It's for *her*!

Madmartigan: I wouldn't steal from a *baby*! You worry too much, Peck.

Meegosh: It's Willow!

Madmartigan: That's magic? It smells terrible.

Willow: It's the life spark. It forms...

Madmartigan: Well, it stinks! This whole thing stinks!

Madmartigan: [crying] I guess I am gonna die here. Who cares?

Willow: [offers him a cup of water] Here.

Madmartigan: [Immediately recovering] Thanks, friend.

Willow: What's that?

[Sees a mass of soldiers on horses approaching]

Madmartigan: I'd say two or three hundred horses, five or six wagons... and about a thousand fools.

Willow: We found one of your babies in our village. Will you please take care of her?

Airk: We're going into battle, little ones. Find a woman to take care of her.

Madmartigan: He thought you *were* a woman, Airk!

Willow: Burglekutt, you're troll dung!

Madmartigan: Don't let him talk to you that way, Burglekutt!

Madmartigan: [He and Willow have entered a fortress empty, save for petrified beings] Why did I *listen* to you, Peck? "Everything will be all right once we get to Tir Asleen". Well, the only army around here is the one that will ride across this valley and wipe us out!

Willow: But Cherlindrea said we'd be safe here!

Madmartigan: Safe? Look at these people! This place is cursed, Peck. It's falling apart. Open your eyes. And it...

[Steps in a pile of troll dung]

Madmartigan: Trolls!

Willow: I found a boat. We're all set.

Madmartigan: Good. Take these two lizards out and drown them.

Rool: Lizards? Who you calling lizards? Grrr! Grrr! Your mother was a lizard!

High Aldwin: I will consult the bones!

[he shakes the bones out of the pouch and studies them]

High Aldwin: [in a low voice, to Willow] The bones tell me nothing.

[pause]

High Aldwin: Have you any love for this child?

Willow: [looks at Elora] Yes. Yes, I do.

High Aldwin: [standing] The bones have spoken!

Willow: What's that?

Madmartigan: Smells like a battle.

Willow: I suppose you're a warrior.

Madmartigan: I am the greatest swordsman that ever lived. Say, um, can I have some of that water?

Willow: Meegosh... did we do the right thing?

Meegosh: Absolutely. There's nothing to worry about.

[They hear Elora crying overhead, and look up to see her being carried by a hawk ridden by a brownie]

Franjean: Yaaah, ha-ha! I stole the baby, I stole the baby, ha-ha! Yah!

Willow: That's my baby! Stop, wait, come back!

Franjean: [flying off] Left, you stupid bird, left! Ha-ha!

Willow: [having been chosen as her gaurdian] Elora, you don't want me.

[to Cherlindirea]

Willow: Tell her. I'm short. Even for a Nelwyn.

Willow: Ouch! What'd you bite me for?

Fin Raziel: Three drops of your blood must be put in the potion.

Willow: Well, you could've warned me!

[Willow and Madmartigan are freed from their cage. Madmartigan has just been sprayed with a love potion]

Willow: Come on, Madmartigan. Let's get Elora Dannan out of here.

Madmartigan: Yeah. It'll be fun!

Fin Raziel: Patience, Willow!

Willow: Courage, Willow!

Willow: Madmartigan, you never, ever drive that fast with an infant!

Madmartigan: I just saved that infant's life!

Madmartigan: [about Elora Dannen] She is kinda cute... When she's quiet.

Willow: She's really a princess.

Madmartigan: [sarcastically] Really? And you're a great sorcerer... And I'm the king of Cashmir. Go to sleep, Willow.

Willow: Burglekutt, I'm gonna...

Burgelcutt: You're gonna what?

[Willow is silent]

Burgelcutt: AH HA HA HA HA!

Willow: Some day, Burglekutt! Some day!

[Willow has arrived in Fin Raziel's island]

Willow: [looking around] Fin? Fin Raziel?

Fin Raziel: [Fin Raziel appears, in possum form] Who's there? Who calls?

Willow: Oh! I'm Willow Ufgood... I am looking for Fin Raziel.

Fin Raziel: I am Fin Raziel.

Willow: [shocked; seeing that she is a possum] No... That's impossible!

Fin Raziel: It is possible, since I was cursed by Bavmorda.

Willow: [to himself; gravely] *Bavmorda.*

Willow: You're great sex, but imperious and penniless are serious social handicaps.

Willow: If this isn't a commentary on the current state of public education, I don't know what is.

Willow: Goth chicks kick ass.

Willow: It looks like Rob Zombie raped the entire cast of "Gossip Girl" and this is their angry love child.

Kat: Babe, are you sure it's a bee?

Adam: Oh, yeah. We gotta get this stinger out.

Mia Hall: No, we're not doing that!

Adam: Trust me, this is the only thing I learned in Boy Scouts.

[gently sucks on her hand]

Adam: Got it.

[family applause]

Kat: Wow.

Willow: Way hotter than tweezers.

Henry: Stand down, woman, you're already knocked up.

Adam: You know, you should get stung more often. I'm sorry to sat that's the furthest we've gotten since our first date.

Willow: A man who would come here of his own free will.

Librarian: A man who has come here with the power of a king. By representing the law...

Willow: A man who would come here as a virgin...

Librarian: A man who has come here as a fool!

Willow: Some things in their natural state have the most VIVID colors.