Wilhelm Quotes in Topsy-Turvy (1999)


Wilhelm Quotes:

  • Wilhelm: Rest assured, Mr. Lely, my designs are properly researched and authentic to the last thread.

    Durward Lely: No disrespect to you, Mr. Wilhelm, but your authentically tailored costume seems to have left me rather in the buff, somewhat!

    Wilhelm: No more in the buff than Japanese peasants have been for the last eight hundred years, sir.

    Durward Lely: May I draw your attention, Mr. Wilhelm, to the fact that I am not actually a Japanese peasant?

    Gilbert: No, you are a Scotch actor who is taking the part of a Japanese prince who is posing as an itinerant minstrel.

  • Wilhelm: Mr. Grossmith, kindly oblige me by removing your hat.

    George Grossmith: Why, sir? Are you ready for me?

    Wilhelm: Would that I were, sir. And, I'll thank you not to refer to my designs as "vulgar", Mr. Lely.

    Durward Lely: Mr. Wilhelm, to my eyes, your designs are not only vulgar, but obscene!

    Wilhelm: How DARE you, sir?

    Gilbert: Strong words, Lely - what the deuce do you mean?

    Durward Lely: Mr. Gilbert, I am a respectably married man and I love my wife dearly. Now, one of the few pleasures that she has enjoyed since the untimely demise of my beloved mother-in-law is to watch me perform upon the stage. But, I am not prepared to allow her to suffer the embarrassment of seeing me flaunted before the public like a half-dressed, performing dog!

    Gilbert: You have my sympathies, Lely. Unfortunately, your avocation as an actor compels you, on occasion, to endure the most ignominious indignities, to which Grossmith will doubtless testify.

    George Grossmith: Without question, sir.

  • Wilhelm: Will you remove your corset.

    Durward Lely: I beg your pardon?

    Wilhelm: Kindly remove your corset, Mr. Lely, it will spoil the hang of the cloth.

    Durward Lely: Mr. Gilbert, I never perform without my corset!

    Gilbert: What, never?

  • Ezekiel: [proposing to Havana] Uh... w-will... w-will you um... d-do you wanna...

    Wilhelm: Go ahead, Ezekial, go ahead.

    Ezekiel: Do you wanna...


    Ezekiel: do you... wha... ma... do you wanna... you know what I mean! I can't breathe! I can't breathe!

    Havana: [laughing] You guys have been out in the sun for too long!

    Ezekiel: [still hyperventilating] Do you... marry...

    [fed up, throws his hat down]

    Ezekiel: Do you wanna marry me or not, you dumb pig!

    Havana: [to the elders] Guys, I have to admit this is one goofy twist on the whole boy/girl thing, but let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater, okay? If you had told me out on the street that the Bible is the happening book that I now think it is, you could've knocked me over with a feather. But guys, I have seen the light! I have been saved. So if the only way I can stick around here and soak up more of this religion stuff is to get hitched to the little midget, then count me in, honey.

    [to Zeke]

    Havana: My answer is yes.

    [Zeke faints]

    Havana: I'll marry the little brat, but that little fainting trick has got to go!

  • Wilhelm: By our law, Ezekiel has the obligation to ask you to marry him. There's no need for alarm. If you simply refuse him, then that will be that.

    Havana: Then what will be what?

    Wilhelm: You'll have to leave.

    Havana: What do you mean, I have to leave?

    Wilhelm: [hands her an envelope] Here's one hundred dollars. And we'll drive you to the bus stop and take you into the city.

    Havana: You can't just kick me out.

    Wilhelm: Nobody wants to kick you out, but we have no choice. As an outsider, you will not be permitted to remain here. It's for the best. The Hutterite is not for you.

    Havana: So I have to leave now with this hundred dollars?

    Wilhelm: I'm sorry.

  • Ezekiel: But Uncle Wilhelm, I'm only 12-years-old. I still hate girls. I would much prefer a frog.

    Wilhelm: Don't disgrace yourself in the eyes of God! Ask her!

    Ezekiel: But I'd make a bad husband! Don't make me do this!

    Wilhelm: You must, child.

  • Grace Margaret Mulligan: There's nothing to be afraid of. We've taken all of the family's weapons.

    Wilhelm: No. I'm afraid of what will happen now. I feel we ain't ready - for a completely new way of life. At Manderlay we slaves took supper at seven. When do people take supper when they're free? We don't know these things.

  • Wilhelm: Just as you thought the notion of community would be good for us, you were so sure that you've permitted yourself to use force to convince us. I'd be sorry if we have to do likewise.

    Grace Margaret Mulligan: What do you mean? Do you intend to keep me prisoner?

    Wilhelm: Only until you understand what you wanted us to understand. The gate has been repaired and is closed. The fences are in good shape, but of course they aint particularly high. Those fences... come on. Two men with a rusty shot gun and a toy pistol. How dumb do you really think we are?

  • Grace Margaret Mulligan: Dammit Wilhelm, they're not free. That's what matters.

    Wilhelm: I'd call that a philosophical argument.

  • Wilhelm: I think you could enjoy being the guardian for a kind of menagerie of creatures who have no chance in the wild.

Browse more character quotes from Topsy-Turvy (1999)