Wilbur G. Henderson, IRS Agent Quotes in You Can't Take It with You (1938)

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Wilbur G. Henderson, IRS Agent Quotes:

  • Grandpa Martin Vanderhoff: Now, Mr. Vanderhoff, that's a very serious thing, not filing an income tax return.

    Wilbur G. Henderson, IRS Agent: Now, suppose I do pay you this money; mind you, I don't say that I'm going to, but, just for the sake of argument; what's the government going to do with it?

    Grandpa Martin Vanderhoff: What do you mean?

    Wilbur G. Henderson, IRS Agent: Well, what do I get for my money? For instance, if I go into a department store and buy something, why, there it is! I can see it. Well, what are they gonna give me?

    Grandpa Martin Vanderhoff: Why the government gives you everything! It protects you!

    Wilbur G. Henderson, IRS Agent: From what?

    Grandpa Martin Vanderhoff: Well, invasion! How do you think the government's gonna keep up the army and navy with all those battleships?

    Wilbur G. Henderson, IRS Agent: Battleships? The last time we used battleships was in the Spanish-American War. And what did we get out of that? Cuba - and we gave that back. Why, I wouldn't mind paying for something sensible.

    Grandpa Martin Vanderhoff: Something sensible? What about Congress and the Supreme Court and the President? We gotta pay them, don't we?

    Wilbur G. Henderson, IRS Agent: Not with my money! No, sir.

  • Wilbur G. Henderson, IRS Agent: [to Martin] Our records show you owe back income tax for 14 years.

    Ed Carmichael: Hey wait a minute, mister, that's too far back, that's outlawed ain't it?

    Wilbur G. Henderson, IRS Agent: What's your name?

    Ed Carmichael: What difference does that make?

    Wilbur G. Henderson, IRS Agent: You ever file a tax return?

    Ed Carmichael: No sir.

    Wilbur G. Henderson, IRS Agent: What was your income last year?

    Ed Carmichael: I don't know, about $50, wasn't it, Essie?

    Essie Carmichael: I don't know.

  • Wilbur G. Henderson, IRS Agent: Who's gonna pay for all those buildings down in Washington? And interstate commerce? And the Constitution?

    Grandpa Martin Vanderhoff: The Constitution's been paid for years ago. And as for interstate commerce, what is interstate commerce anyway?

    Wilbur G. Henderson, IRS Agent: There are 48 states. See. And if it weren't for interstate commerce nothing could go from one state to another. See?

    Grandpa Martin Vanderhoff: Well, why not, have they got fences?

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