Wilbur Force Quotes in The Little Shop of Horrors (1960)

Wilbur Force: [reading an article from "Pain" magazine in the waiting room of the dentist; giggling] The patient came to me with a large hole in his abdomen, caused by a fire poker used on him by his wife. He almost bled to death and gangrene had set in. I didn't give him much of a chance. There were other complications. The man had cancer, tuberculosis, leprosy, and a touch of the grippe. I decided to operate.

[Seymour is impersonating Dr. Farb to a new patient]

Wilbur Force: My name is Wilbur Force.

Seymour Krelboin: Wilbur Force what?

Wilbur Force: Just Wilbur Force. My first name is Wilbur, my last name is Force. I don't have a middle name.

Seymour Krelboin: Well, do you have an appointment, maybe?

Wilbur Force: No, but you were very highly recommended to me by one of your patients, a Mrs. S. Shiva. I do a lot of undertaking for her relatives.

Seymour Krelboin: Well, as you can see I have a customer now. And I'm all booked up for the rest of the day, so you'll have to come back tomorrow.

Wilbur Force: Oh, I couldn't do that. I have three or four abscesses, I touch of pyorrhea, nine or ten cavities, I lost my pivot tooth, and I'm in terrible pain!

Seymour Krelboin: Well I can't help you today.

Wilbur Force: Oh, that's all right. I'll just wait outside.

Wilbur Force: Now, no novocaine. It dulls the senses.