Westley Quotes in The Princess Bride (1987)

Buttercup: We'll never survive.

Westley: Nonsense. You're only saying that because no one ever has.

Westley: Give us the gate key.

Yellin: I have no gate key.

Inigo Montoya: Fezzik, tear his arms off.

Yellin: Oh, you mean *this* gate key.

Prince Humperdinck: First things first, to the death.

Westley: No. To the pain.

Prince Humperdinck: I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase.

Westley: I'll explain and I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon.

Prince Humperdinck: That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me.

Westley: It won't be the last. To the pain means the first thing you will lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists. Next your nose.

Prince Humperdinck: And then my tongue I suppose, I killed you too quickly the last time. A mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.

Westley: I wasn't finished. The next thing you will lose will be your left eye followed by your right.

Prince Humperdinck: And then my ears, I understand let's get on with it.

Westley: WRONG. Your ears you keep and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God! What is that thing," will echo in your perfect ears. That is what "to the pain means." It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.

Prince Humperdinck: I think you're bluffing.

Westley: It's possible, Pig, I might be bluffing. It's conceivable, you miserable, vomitous mass, that I'm only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. But, then again... perhaps I have the strength after all.

[slowly rises and points sword directly at the prince]

Westley: DROP... YOUR... SWORD!

Prince Humperdinck: [Humperdinck's mouth hangs open, drops sword to floor]

Prince Humperdinck: Surrender.

Westley: You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept.

Inigo Montoya: Is very strange. I have been in the revenge business so long, now that it's over, I don't know what to do with the rest of my life.

Westley: Have you ever considered piracy? You'd make a wonderful Dread Pirate Roberts.

Westley: Hear this now: I will always come for you.

Buttercup: But how can you be sure?

Westley: This is true love - you think this happens every day?

Buttercup: We'll never succeed. We may as well die here.

Westley: No, no. We have already succeeded. I mean, what are the three terrors of the Fire Swamp? One, the flame spurt - no problem. There's a popping sound preceding each; we can avoid that. Two, the lightning sand, which you were clever enough to discover what that looks like, so in the future we can avoid that too.

Buttercup: Westley, what about the R.O.U.S.'s?

Westley: Rodents Of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist.

[Immediately, an R.O.U.S. attacks him]

Westley: It's not that bad.

Westley: Well, I'm not saying I'd like to build a summer home here, but the trees are actually quite lovely.

Westley: I told you I would always come for you. Why didn't you wait for me?

Buttercup: Well... you were dead.

Westley: Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.

Buttercup: I will never doubt again.

Westley: There will never be a need.

Westley: Why won't my arms move?

Fezzik: You've been mostly-dead all day.

Westley: Who are you? Are we enemies? Why am I on this wall? Where is Buttercup?

Inigo Montoya: Let me explain.

[pause]

Inigo Montoya: No, there is too much. Let me sum up. Buttercup is marry Humperdinck in little less than half an hour. So all we have to do is get in, break up the wedding, steal the princess, make our escape... after I kill Count Rugen.

Westley: That doesn't leave much time for dilly-dallying.

Fezzik: You just wiggled your finger. That's wonderful.

Westley: I've always been a quick healer. What are our liabilities?

Inigo Montoya: There is but one working castle gate, and... and it is guarded by 60 men.

Westley: And our assets?

Inigo Montoya: Your brains, Fezzik's strength, my steel.

Westley: No one would surrender to the Dread Pirate Westley.

Buttercup: Oh, Wesley, will you ever forgive me?

Westley: What hideous sin have you committed lately?

Buttercup: I got married. I didn't want to - it all happened so fast.

Westley: Never happened.

Buttercup: What?

Westley: Never happened.

Buttercup: But it did I was there; this old man said 'man and wife.'

Westley: Did you say 'I do?'

Buttercup: Um, no... we sort of skipped that part.

Westley: Then you're not married. You didn't say it; you didn't do it.

Westley: There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.

Prince Humperdinck: [draws sword] For the last time, surrender!

Westley: DEATH FIRST!

Grandpa: Nothing gave Buttercup as much pleasure as ordering Westley around.

Buttercup: Farm boy, polish my horse's saddle. I want to see my face shining in it by morning.

Westley: As you wish.

Grandpa: "As you wish" was all he ever said to her.

Buttercup: Farm boy, fill these with water - please.

Westley: As you wish.

Grandpa: That day, she was amazed to discover that when he was saying "As you wish", what he meant was, "I love you." And even more amazing was the day she realized she truly loved him back.

Buttercup: Farm boy... fetch me that pitcher.

Westley: As you wish.

The Grandson: Hold it, hold it. What is this? Are you trying to trick me? Where's the sports?

The Grandson: Is this a kissing book?

Grandpa: Wait, just wait.

The Grandson: Well, when does it get good?

Grandpa: Keep your shirt on, and let me read.

Westley: We are men of action, lies do not become us.

Westley: Can you move at all?

Buttercup: Move? You're alive. If you want I can fly.

Westley: Roberts had grown so rich, he wanted to retire. He took me to his cabin and he told me his secret. 'I am not the Dread Pirate Roberts' he said. 'My name is Ryan; I inherited the ship from the previous Dread Pirate Roberts, just as you will inherit it from me. The man I inherited it from is not the real Dread Pirate Roberts either. His name was Cummerbund. The real Roberts has been retired 15 years and living like a king in Patagonia.'

Buttercup: Westley. Oh, Westley darling!

[embraces Westley passionately, and is visibly disconcerted when he lies back passively]

Buttercup: Westley, why won't you hold me?

Westley: Gently.

Buttercup: At a time like this, that's all you can think to say. Gently?

[squeezes Westley tighter]

Westley: Gently!

Westley: Ughhhh!

Westley: Oh, what I wouldn't give for a holocaust cloak.

Inigo Montoya: There, we cannot help you.

Fezzik: Will this do?

[hauls out a black cloak]

Inigo Montoya: Where did you get that?

Fezzik: At Miracle Max's. It fits so nice, he said I could keep it.

Westley: I mean, if we only had a wheelbarrow, that would be something.

Inigo Montoya: Where we did we put that wheelbarrow the albino had?

Fezzik: Over the albino, I think.

Westley: Well, why didn't you list that among our assets in the first place?

Fezzik: You just shook your head... doesn't that make you happy?

Westley: My brains, his steel, and your strength against sixty men, and you think a little head-jiggle is supposed to make me happy?

Westley: Where am I?

The Albino: [raspy voice] The Pit of Despair! Don't even think...

[clears throat]

The Albino: ... don't even think about trying to escape. The chains are far too thick. Don't dream of being rescued, either; the only way in is secret. Only the Prince, the Count, and I know how to get in and out.

Westley: So I'm here till I die?

The Albino: Until they kill you, yeah.

Westley: Then why bother curing me?

The Albino: Well, the Prince and Count always insist on everyone being healthy before they're broken.

Westley: So it's to be torture?

The Albino: [nods enthusiastically]

Westley: I can cope with torture.

The Albino: [shakes head enthusiastically]

Westley: Don't believe me?

The Albino: You survived the Fire Swamp, so you must be very brave, but no one withstands The Machine.

Prince Humperdinck: You truly love each other? Then you might have been truly happy! No couple in a century has that chance, no matter what the storybooks say. And so I think no man in a century will suffer as greatly as you will

[Throws the lever on the Machine up to the highest setting]

Count Rugen: Not to Fifty!

Westley: [Writhes and howls]

Inigo Montoya: Fezzik, do you hear that? That is the sound of ultimate suffering. My heart made that sound when Count Rugen killed my father. The Man in Black makes it now.

Fezzik: The Man in Black?

Inigo Montoya: His true love is marry Prince Humperdinck tonight, so who else has cause for ultimate suffering?

Westley: [to Buttercup as they run towards the Fire Swamp] Ha, your pig fiance is too late!

Fezzik: I just figured why you give me so much trouble.

Westley: Why is that

[squashed against a rock]

Westley: do you think?

Fezzik: Well, I haven't fought one person for so long. I've been specialised in groups, battling gangs for local charities, that kind of thing.

Westley: Why should that make such a

[squashed painfully]

Westley: difference?

Fezzik: You use different moves when you're fighting half a dozen people, than when you only have to be worried about one

[falls unconscious]

Westley: Never happened.

Buttercup: It did! This old man said "Man and Wife"

Westley: Did you say "I do"

Buttercup: No, we sort of skipped that part.

Westley: Then you're not married. If you didn't say it, you didn't do it. Wouldn't you agree, your Highness?

Prince Humperdinck: A technicality that will shortly be remedied.

Fezzik: [Inigo puts the miracle pill into Westley's mouth] How long do we have to wait, before we know the miracle works?

Inigo Montoya: You're guess is as good as mine.

Westley: [Opens his eyes] I'll beat you both apart! I'll take you both together!

Fezzik: [Promptly covers Westley's mouth] I guess not very long.