Wendell Armbruster Quotes in Avanti! (1972)

Carlo Carlucci: In Italy, the lunch hour is from one to four.

Wendell Armbruster: *Three hours* for lunch?

Carlo Carlucci: Mr. Armbruster. Here we do not rush to drugstore for chicken sandwich & Coca-Cola. Here, we take our time. We cook our pasta, we sprinkle our Parmigiano, we drink our wine, we make our love...

Wendell Armbruster: What do you do in the evening?

Carlo Carlucci: In the evening, we go home to our wives.

Wendell Armbruster: [moving his face close to hers] Permesso?

Pamela Piggott: Why don't you just make a contribution to your favorite charity?

Wendell Armbruster: [firmly] *Permesso.*

Pamela Piggott: Avanti.

Carlo Carlucci: While you are here, maybe you should take some mud baths.

Wendell Armbruster: No thanks, I had one on the train.

Carlo Carlucci: On the train?

Wendell Armbruster: I drank it. They call it espresso.

Pamela Piggott: For instance, you need a coffin lined with some sort of metal.

Wendell Armbruster: Zinc.

[to Carlucci]

Wendell Armbruster: Better get a couple of those.

Carlo Carlucci: I had trouble finding one!

Wendell Armbruster: Come on. You can dig up a couple of coffins.

Carlo Carlucci: [hesitating] You want second-hand coffins?

Pamela Piggott: [Talking about her ex-boyfriend] The bastard walked out on me. Stole my telly, two Picasso posters, and my hair dryer. Moved in with some skinny girl in Kensington... When I found out, would you believe I tried to kill myself?

Wendell Armbruster: No!

Pamela Piggott: Yes. I took my week's salary, bought myself a suitcase full of fish and chips and a dozen bottles of Guinness stout, and tried to eat myself to death. Took them hours to pump my stomach out.

Wendell Armbruster: Was it worth it, for a guy like that?

Pamela Piggott: It was stupid. But I've learned my lesson: No more fish and chips!

Pamela Piggott: I guess there is something to what it says in the tourist guide.

Wendell Armbruster: What does it say?

Pamela Piggott: It says Italy is not a country - it's an emotion.

Wendell Armbruster: Well, it's certainly been an experience!

Wendell Armbruster: [as Pamela strips at the seaside] Miss Piggott! Please keep in mind that it's Sunday, and this is a Catholic country!

Wendell Armbruster: [entering Carlucci's hotel] Well, it doesn't look like a Hilton.

Carlo Carlucci: I accept the compliment.

Wendell Armbruster: Wait a minute, your mother? Where is she?

Pamela Piggott: In the morgue.

Wendell Armbruster: What's she doing in the morgue?

Pamela Piggott: What do people usually do in the morgue? She's lying there.

Wendell Armbruster: Aagh! Goddamn Ralph Nader! Who asked him!

J.J. Blodgett: We don't need an export licence. We're gonna bypass all that bull...

Wendell Armbruster: Bypass, how can you do it?

J.J. Blodgett: No sweat. We're appointing your father commercial attaché to the embassy in Rome, and that entitles him to all the rights and immunities of a diplomat.

Wendell Armbruster: But wait a minute, we're going to appoint him...

J.J. Blodgett: Why not?

Wendell Armbruster: A dead man?

J.J. Blodgett: Just proves that we don't discriminate against anybody for reasons of race, creed, color, or state of health.