Wells Quotes in Dog Soldiers (2002)

Terry: Planning on scoring, Sarge?

Spoon: Yea, well mind you don't foul her in the penalty box.

Terry: Aww.

Wells: Alright, button it, Private Parts.

Wells: If we do happen to make contact, I expect nothing less than gratuitous violence from the lot of ya. Because we're firing blanks doesn't mean we have to be thinking nice thoughts. So you remember, you keep the fire down, right, you get stuck in and you kick their fucking teeth out, or I guarantee you, Joe, they will be eating your bollocks for breakfast, sunshine.

Terry: Hard-boiled or fried, Sarge?

Wells: Scrambled.

Spoon: So this bloke walks into a pub right, with a little dog under his arm. Puts it down on the bar, goes and sits down. The bar-tender's lookin' at him thinking "what the fuckin' hell's goin' on here?". Then he looks back at the dog, and to his surprise the dog turns around and...

[Dead cow drops into camp]

Cooper: Fuckin' cow.

Spoon: Fuckin' hell.

[Terry fires at it]

Wells: Cease fire, Terry. Cease fire.

Joe: Terry, what the hell are you doin'? You're firing blanks man.

Wells: Is everyone all right? Is everyone OK?

Spoon: Nah, man, I think I've shit meself.

Ryan: They won't die.

Wells: Yeah, well,

[cocks gun]

Wells: , this gives me better peace of mind, sir.

Ryan: You want piece of mind? Run before they tear your legs from under you.

Wells: Now you just shut up like a good gentleman, you are scaring my lads.

[Wells cocks his gun]

Wells: Yeah, well, this gives me better piece of mind, sir.

Ryan: You want piece of mind? Run for your lives before they tear your legs from under you.

Wells: Now you just shut up like a good gentleman. You are scaring my lads.

[Joe watching the cow roasting on the fire]

Joe: Is anyone else thinking what I'm thinking?

Bruce: You are joking aren't you?

Spoon: You fuckin' animal.

Joe: Yea, you're all thinking the same thing aren't you?

Spoon: Mmmm.

Joe: Right lads, how do ya like your steak done?

Wells: You bunch of dirty bloody savages. You lot make me sick. God.

Wells: Come on, sunshine, fucking shift it!

Wells: All right, then, time sync. I got zero-seven-thirty coming up in three... two... one... check.

Spoon: Oh, bollocks, I don't believe this.

Wells: What is it now, Witherspoon?

Spoon: Left me watch at the barracks, Sarge.

Wells: Take a breather every once in a while, son, you'll live longer.

Terry: Nice work, Spoon, you tosser.

Joe: Took the words right out of my mouth.

Spoon: And you'll be taking my boot out your mouth in a minute, Joe, you baldy twat.

Wells: [Wells is drunk while Megan and Cooper proceed to care for his wound]

[about Cooper]

Wells: I tell you what, I love him. I love you! Like the mate that I... that I love.

Megan: Would you like to be alone?

Joe: Over here Cooper. On me head.

[Cooper kicks Joe's helmet to him and whacks his head]

Joe: Ya twater. Can't believe I'm missin' the footy for this... party.

Wells: Joe, if you don't shut up I swear to God I'm gonna fuckin' slot you myself, now move.

Joe: Didn't say a word, Sarge.

[Upon landing in the chopper]

Wells: I want a good, clean dispersal. I want a secure landing-zone. Go go go go go. Joe, get outta the pissin' chopper.

Joe: I'm not missing the footy for this. It's totally bone. I'm not goin', Sarge. I'm not goin'.

[Using a lighter and deodorant bottle as a flame-thrower]

Wells: Yea, get out of it you bastard. How'd you like them tomatoes, you fuckin' bastard?

Wells: [to Cooper upon failing Special Ops] Listen, the only people who go looking for trouble are Kamikazes, glory boys and full-on fucking fuckwits.

Cooper: [after Wells has had his intestines exposed] How are you feeling?

Wells: A touch of gas. And the fact that various body parts are trying to vacate the premises, fucking awful.

Wells: [Cooper is aiding the wounded Wells upstairs to 'patch up' his wound] C'mon, Coop, up the wooden hill.

Wells: [Ryan has just turned into a werewolf and Wells grabs a stick and throws it] Fetch!

Wells: What if shes wrong? What if they're not all in there?

Cooper: Then we get some of them. Its a shit load better than none of them and a marked improvement on all of us.

Wells: You know, Coop, there's one more thing you gotta learn about command, mate. Sometimes the people that you kill, are your own men.

Wells: [to Cooper] Listen to me, you have got to make it out alive. It happened. Prove it happened!

Wells: Look at that, two cops wishing me luck. I'm doomed.

[Wells and Wilson decide who will escape to go for help]

Wilson: We haven't even flipped the coin yet.

Wells: I'm gonna lose.

Wilson: You got a bad attitude, Wells.

Wells: I ALWAYS lose. Had bad luck all my life. How do you think I ended up in here?

Wilson: Maybe your luck will change.

Wells: It might... If we don't flip a coin.

Wilson: What then?

Wells: Potatoes.

Wilson: All right.

Wilson, Wells: [both together] One potato, two potato, three potato, four! Five potato, six potato, seven potato more! Eight potato, nine potato, ten potato, eleven! Kiss my ass and go to heaven! Y-O-U spells YOU!

[Wells loses]

Wells: I told you I was gonna lose! Goddamn it, we're gonna do it again!

Wells: In the meantime, I got this plan. It's called "Save Ass". And the way it works is this - I slip outta one of these windows and I run like a bastard!

Wells: Look, they've moved the cars.

Bishop: I can't belive it. They parked them where they were before.

Wells: Why'd they do that?

Wilson: From a distance, the street looks normal. Like nothing happened.

Bishop: Like nothing happened? They gunned down five police officers! A secretary, one prisoner, we kill a dozen of them, and that's nothing happened?

Bishop: Well, where are the bodies?

[Bishop looks down at the ground and notices nothing there]

Bishop: They took them away!

Wells: How'd they do it so fast?

Wilson: Maybe they got the good fairy to help them.

Wells: Oh, you really are a smart-ass!

Wells: Nobody likes a smart guy, Brennick!

John Henry Brennick: You must be very popular.

Wells: You disrespectin' me, punk?

John Henry Brennick: I'm not lookin' for any trouble.

Wells: Found you anyway!