Webster Quotes in xXx: State of the Union (2005)

Maurice: What the hell does the Department of Homeland Defense want with a truck full of cheese anyway?

Webster: You ain't never heard of government cheese?

Maurice: I'm not goin' out without a fight.

Webster: He's retarded!

Maurice: Key's in the truck. Move the level, 'cause the brakes get stuck.

Agent Toby Lee Shavers: Hi, I'm Agent Shavers. We'll be commandeering your truck today.

Webster: Man, we can't let anybody know a white guy hijacked us.

Maurice: We'll say it was 75 black guys.

Webster: Milton, if memory serves, you were always partial to the Chevelle, yes?

Webster: That cipher, *where is it*?

David Pollock: Ask me later alligator.

Webster: *Where is it*?

David Pollock: I left it at Beshraavi's. After all, it belongs to him.

Yussef Kasim: Wrong again teach. He snatched it. Belongs to this cat right here. Now where is it?

David Pollock: Miss Azir, after all we've been through together couldn't you find it in your heart to put in a small word on my behalf?

Yasmin Azir: He told me he had it in his pocket.

David Pollock: [shaking head] Tattle tale.

Julius Benedict: Wait a minute. You forgot the third rule in a crisis situation.

Webster: What third rule?

Vincent Benedict: Third rule?

Julius Benedict: Yeah, third rule.

Vincent Benedict: [notices the crane above Webster] Oooh! The third rule.

Webster: What's the third rule?

Julius Benedict, Vincent Benedict: Duck!

[Vincent hits the crane switch which drops a pile of chains on Webster burying him]

Vincent Benedict: Yo! Holy shmoly! Now there's a man with a lot on his mind.

Burt Klane: [knocking at the door] Open up, Vince. Come on, we know you're in there, we just wanna talk to you.

Bob Klane: [Klane Brothers come bursting in] Howdy!

Burt Klane: [to Webster] Who are you?

Webster: That's not really important, is it? I was just feeding the cat and then I was gonna leave.

Burt Klane: [Firmly] I asked you a question.

Webster: Well who are you?

Bob Klane: We're the Klane Brothers. That's Burt, this is Morris, and I'm Bob.

Webster: Interesting gene pool.

Burt Klane: Don't cast aspersions of my family.

Webster: Oh I beg your pardon, but you're looking for Vince Benedict, right?

Burt Klane: Right.

Webster: My Vince Benedict?

[Burt and Morris look at one another]

Webster: So what difference does it make who I am?

Webster: [On Vince's trail, Webster has come to his house, and finds it empty, save for Julius, the cat] Well what have we here? What a cute little kitty! So, where's Daddy?

Webster: [Picking up the cat, he finds the information Vince wrote down in the trash basket. He holds it up to read it] Well, well, well. Thank you very much...

Webster: [to Jackie] In a world full of thieves, I wanted to be an honest one.

Webster: [meeting Laura for the first time] Maybe I've been nominated as a reformer.

Laura: No... only the women want to reform me. The men like me just as I am.

Webster: [Laura is jealous about Jackie] Goddamnit! I love you! I live with you! And you know enough about me to put me away for three hundred years! What must I do to prove myself?

Laura: [pause, then] Everything.

Webster: Don't forget, you walked out on me!

Jackie: I walked out on a computerized man, not a chess burglar!

Webster: [last lines; Dave has finally caught Webster doing a robbery] Did you bring your gun with you?

Dave: What do you think?

Webster: Because that's the only way you're going to bring me in. Jail does not suit my lifestyle. So if you want to bring me in, you're going to have to shoot me.

Dave: [pause, then] Maybe I'll just have to do that.

Webster: If you feel about me the way I've grown to feel about you... then I don't envy you.

[Dave stares at Webster, but says and does nothing. The sound of police sirens is heard. Webster turns and starts to run; Dave just stands there and watches him escape]

Webster: [to a dog pound attendant] I'm looking for a large dog in heat.

Webster: [to the female dog he's brought along to distract guard dogs] Wendy, tonight you're going to be the belle of the ball.

Jackie: I thought you were honest.

Webster: Only when I'm stealing.

Webster: Hello, my name is Webster McGee. I broke into your safe last week while you were away in Europe. Have a nice trip, Gene?

Webster: I'm well educated, Gene. And I've recently come into a great deal of money. Some of it is yours.