Wayne Grey Quotes in Evolution (2001)

Wayne Grey: [trying to get the alien's attention with an open mike] Ca-Caw! Ca-Caw! Ca-Caw! Ah Ah Ee Ee Tookie Tookie! Tookie Tookie! Ca-Caw Ca-ca-caw-ca-caw-caw-caw! Ca-ca-caw!

Harry Block: Wayne, I think we've established that "Ca-Caw Ca-Caw" and "Tookie Tookie" don't work.

Wayne Grey: Right. Sorry.

Harry Block: Alright, so what do you say Ira? Pack it in?

Wayne Grey: [starts singing into the mike] You are so beautiful, to me...

Ira Kane: Step back, Harry, I'm gonna shoot him.

Harry Block: No, stand down. I'm gonna kill this one myself.

Wayne Grey: Give me a chance, I'm communicating here.

[continues singing]

Wayne Grey: You are so beautiful, to me...

Harry Block: Wayne, would you please stop, because you are embarrassing me.

Wayne Grey: [Wayne starts singing louder and directly to Harry] Can't you see. You're everyth...

[the creature reacts]

Wayne Grey: [singing] You're everything that I hope for.

[the creature reacts again]

Ira Kane: It's working!

Harry Block: [to Wayne] Yeah. Sing! Sing! Rub some funk on it!

Ira Kane: Ira Kane, head of the science department, Glen Canyon Community College.

Harry Block: Harry Block, United States Geological Survey.

Wayne Grey: Wayne Grey. I took some chemistry in high school.

[they see a dying monster coughing something up]

Wayne Grey: Whoa! It's like a big lugie!

[the 'egg' breaks, and another monster comes out]

Harry Block: Mazel tov! It's a boy!

Harry Block: You going to finish that bacon?

Wayne Grey: Yeah, I am. I ordered it, didn't I?

Wayne Grey: [as they arm themselves in the sporting goods store] You ever use one of these things before?

Harry Block: Just 'cause I'm a schoolteacher, that don't make me a pussy.

Ira Kane: Ladies, ladies, there's a terrifying alien bird menacing the mall. Can we focus?

[first lines]

[At night, Wayne drives out to a shack in the desert and places a mannequin inside it. He is wearing a yellow fireman's coat, without a fire department's name on it]

Wayne Grey: Despite all the warnings, she was smoking in bed, fell asleep. Bad move.

[He sloshes gasoline inside the shack and strikes a match]

Wayne Grey: And the fire begins. Showtime!

[Hollering in fake excitement, he charges into the shack]

Wayne Grey: Don't worry, ma'am, I'm here to save you!

[He pulls the mannequin out, then shouts to an imaginary crowd:]

Wayne Grey: Keep those people back! This is an emergency!

[He dumps the mannequin on the ground, pulls his coat off, and pretends to start CPR]

Wayne Grey: Don't you dare die on me! Breathe, dammit, breathe! She's gonna make it! She's gonna make it!

[Looking up triumphantly to the imaginary crowd, he sees the asteroid in the night sky, heading straight toward him]

Wayne Grey: What the - ?

[Lieutenant Cryer has interrupted the briefing of the Governor to call attention to the command site's video monitors]

Governor Lewis: [angrily] All right, what's going on down there?

[Another video monitor reveals a Bigfoot-like creature skulking toward the camera with a menacing expression]

Ira Kane: My God. They've evolved into primates.

Wayne Grey: Aughh. Now, that's a face for radio!