Washburn Quotes in Taxi (2004)

Washburn's Mom: Andy is not a really a strong driver. See, he had a really bad experience when he had his first driving lesson. So...

Washburn: Driving lesson? You call that a driving lesson?

Washburn's Mom: Yes!

Washburn: Dad let go of the wheel and said "You better steer or you're gonna kill the whole family".

Washburn's Mom: Yeah! It's good for you.

Washburn: We where going 90, I was six!

Washburn's Mom: That's right! And that's the way he taught you to swim!

Washburn: I can't swim either!

Vanessa: Gimmie the cash! No more games!

Washburn: Girl first!

Belle: [to Vanessa] No, girl first!

Vanessa: No! We'll switch at the same time!

Washburn: On three. One...

Belle: [to Vanessa] One...

Washburn: Two...

Belle: [to Vanessa] Two...

Belle: THREE!

[Washburn pulls Lt. Robbins in the cab]

Washburn: Brake!

[Belle hits the brakes]

Washburn: Men are like cats, ya know? Sure, we'll play with a ball of yarn, unless you want us to play with the ball of yarn. Trick is, hide the ball of yarn.

[laughs]

Washburn: But don't hide it where you can't find it, ya know? Like, 'Hey, what's the ball of yarn doing in the fridge?' Whatever. Ya know what I'm saying?

Washburn: Mi Castro, su Castro.

Washburn: You ask me where I'm from? What part am I from? Eeh... What part of Havanna? You know... ah... around the corner of... eum... Castro... Street.

Washburn: I had to flip and pull this out of my ankly holster... now gimme that and shush.

Washburn: [pulls out his badge] See this? This is a badge! It means your not allowed to *scream* at me!

Belle: [takes the badge] Ah Ah Ah.

Washburn: [tries to get badge back] Come on now. Give it back.

[goes to grab badge and ends up flipping over, then stands up with a gun pulled out]

Washburn: Hand it over cabbie!

Belle: Whoa, man! Be cool!

Washburn: Be cool? I had to flip and pull this out of my ankle holster! Now gimme that and shush!

[goes to grab badge, he doesn't get it and Belle gets the gun too]

Washburn: Ah!

Belle: Ha. Yeah! How do you like me to point it at you!

Washburn: [after stopping in the alley during first car chase] Hey! Why'd you stop for?

Belle: [referring to the gun] Hey man watch that thing! It's a dead end, they ain't going nowhere.

Washburn: [loads his gun] Okay! Time to get my burn on!

Belle: You talking to me or your gun? You better not be talking to me. I *know* you ain't talking to me.

Washburn: [after inhaling nitrous oxide, Washburn's voice has deepened] I sound like Barry White's illegitimate, white grandson!

Washburn: Didn't see my nads, did ya?

Washburn: So here's the plan, you fake like you're gonna go left, then you go left. Then we catch the bad guys and I'll lay a little sepressifed down from my pisolita

[car hits a bump sending the gun into the backseat, Belle looks at him with disgust]

Washburn: Drive! Drive! Don't look at me! Look at the road!

Washburn: Every hero has a weakness. Superman has kryptonite. Indiana Jones has snakes. Whitney Houston has Bobby Brown... or vice-versa...

Lt. Marta Robbins: Three cars you totalled! Cop or no cop, that is eleven points off your license. It's gone!

Washburn: Don't take away my license!

Lt. Marta Robbins: It's gone!

[Lt. Robbins takes Washburn's license from his wallet, then puts it in her drawer]

Lt. Marta Robbins: You're not gonna need it for your next assignment.

Lt. Marta Robbins: You're fired. You're not on suspension. You're not on temporary leave. You're fired! Ms. Williams, I'm giving your license back with a warning. If I catch you driving that thing in this city again, it is mine. Andy, as a friend, I'm sorry.

Washburn: But, Lieutenant...

Lt. Marta Robbins: Andy, please! You left me no choice. Now give me your badge.

[Washburn hands over his badge scorched by Belle's boyfriend, Jesse]

Lt. Marta Robbins: What?

[exhales, then walks away]

Belle: Hey... wanna share a cab?

Washburn: [sadly] Yeah.

Washburn: Oh man, if you can't fry it, I won't eat it!