Warden Quotes in Superman (1978)

[last lines]

Warden: This country is safe again, Superman, thanks to you.

Superman: No, sir. Don't thank me, Warden. We're all part of the same team. Good night.

[the warden of a prison is sitting in his office when he hears the alarms sound & the guard dogs barking. He steps onto his balcony to see Superman flying into the prison yard, holding Luthor & Otis by the scruff of their jackets]

Lex Luthor: You're messing up my suit, you lummox, you!

Lex Luthor: [to Superman] Watch the ground!

[They land with a start. Luthor & Otis are immediately cornered by the guards]

Superman: Good evening, Warden. I think these 2 men should be safe here with you now till they can get a fair trial.

Warden: Who is it, Superman?

Lex Luthor: [Lex rips off his wig to reveal his bald head] Lex Luthor! The greatest criminal mind of our time!

Otis: [repeating what Lex says] ... Of our time!

Lex Luthor: I hereby serve notice...

Otis: He's serving notice to you...

Lex Luthor: That these walls...

Otis: That these walls here...

Lex Luthor: Will you shut up, please!

Superman: [to the guards] All right, take them away, boys!

[the guards take Luthor & Otis to a cell]

Lex Luthor: [shouting at Otis as the guards lead them away] Neanderthal! Nitwit! Nincompoop!

Warden: Is there any questions you would like to ask?

Driver: Where's the exit?

[looking at a charred caped skeleton]

Minion: You did it, sir.

Megamind: I did it...

[cheers]

Megamind: I did it!

Mayor: [shocked] He did it!

Warden: [shocked] He did it!

[the Warden is subdued by guards, while Megamind escapes]

Warden: You fools, he's tricked us!

Megamind: You're right about one thing, Warden: I'll always be a villain!

[escapes with the Warder's disguise]

Warden: Good luck, fellas!

Megamind: Warden, you have to let me out! You have to let me go! Titan has to be stopped!

Warden: Sorry, Megamind, you still have eight-five life sentences to live through. It'll give you plenty of time to think about what you've done.

Megamind: You want me to say it? I'll say it! Here it is, from the deepest, blackest pit of my heart: I'M SORRY!

Warden: ...Not buying it.

Megamind: [sighs] I don't blame you. I've terrorized the city countless times. I've created a hero who's turned out to be a villain. I treated my best friend, Minion, like dirt. But I beg you, don't let Roxanne, don't let this city pay for my wrongdoings.

Minion: [removing the Warder disguise] Apology accepted.

Warden: You got a present in the mail.

Megamind: Is it a puppy?

Warden: [holds up a watch] It's from Metro Man: "To count every second of your eighty-five life sentences." That's funny. I never thought Metro Man was the gloating type!... Oh, but he does have nice taste. I think I'll keep it!

[puts the watch on]

Megamind: Any chance you could give me the time? I don't want to be late for the opening of the Metro Man Museum.

Warden: Oh, no. Looks like you're gonna miss it... by several thousand years!

[walks off]

Megamind: Oh, am I?

Megamind: [in prison] Good morning, Warden! Great news: I'm a changed man, and I'm ready to reenter society and consolidate!

Warden: You're a villain, and you'll always be a villain! You'll never change! And you'll never leave.

Megamind: You're fun.

Warden: You know Wilson, I'm gonna miss you.

Napoleon Wilson: That's not the truth, Warden. You should always tell the truth. Even a little white lie can sometimes trip a man up.

[trips the Prison Warden with his chain]

Napoleon Wilson: He don't stand up as good as he used to.

Warden: [after punching Wilson out of a chair without the slightest provocation] He just slipped right out of the chair.

Napoleon Wilson: [sarcastic] Yeah, I don't sit in chairs as well as I used to.

[Reggie is released from prison]

Warden: I'm obliged to give you $100 in cash, and a free bus ride to San Francisco. All compliments of the State of California.

Reggie Hammond: That's it?

Warden: That is it.

Reggie Hammond: [takes the envelope] Thank you for sparing me any of the other crap.

Warden: You have come here from all over the world because society has no further use for you. The international prison system has given up all hopes of your rehabilitation. This place will now be your holding pen untill your death. Because death is the only way out. There is no chance of reprieve here, No possibility of escape. You are condemned. Either accept it... Or die...

Warden: Was there something you wanted to add?

Robbins: Don't ever turn your back on me again.

Warden: Your turn, Johnny. The priest you've requested has arrived.

Charley: [pretending to be a priest] Are you ready, my son?

Johnny Dangerously: I'm ready if you are, father.

Charley: Dominus vobiscum, Nabisco. Espiritu sanctu. They gasthebus.

Prisoner: [hands Johnny a part of a tommy gun] So long, Johnny.

Charley: We gasthebus. You gasthebus. We missed the bus. They missed the bus.

Prisoner: [hands Johnny another piece of the gun] Be brave, huh, Johnny.

Charley: When's the next bus?

Johnny Dangerously: [begins putting the gun together behind the wardens back] Always, Nails.

Charley: Summa cum laude. Magna cum laude. The radio's too laude. Adeste fidelis.

Prisoner: [gives Johnny another piece] Good luck, Johnny.

Charley: Semper fidelis. High fidelis.

Johnny Dangerously: [struggling to put it together] Why didn't I take shop?

Charley: Post Meridian. Ante Meridian. Uncle Meridian. All the little Meridians.

Prisoner: [adds another piece] Bye bye, Johnny.

Johnny Dangerously: [adds piece to gun] Bye, Rock.

Charley: The Magna Carta. MasterCharge it.

Prisoner: [hands piece to Johnny] Spit in his eye, Johnny!

Johnny Dangerously: [finishes putting the gun together] OK, rabbi.

Charley: [opens his bible to reveal the guns clip] Dum procellas. Lotsa Vitalis.

Warden: Any last words, Johnny?

[gun cocks]

Warden: [turns to see Johnny pointing a tommy gun at him] Well said!

Warden: [as he is being released from prison] No matter what institution I'm in, sooner or later I got you inside it. You couldn't, um, really go straight?

Dortmunder: [after a thoughtful pause and an exhale] My heart wouldn't be in it, Frank.

Warden: [escorting Gold and Silver] Chief Garvin, there are certain precautions I need to warn you about. Make sure they're always cuffed and shackled at all times during transport. Never be off-guard until they can see clearly that you're on their side. In their minds, there are only two kinds of people: enemies and allies. God help you if you're an enemy.

Warden: [addressing the about-to-be-tortured Falco] You're so young. I don't want you to go through this. Eventually everybody talks. It's a matter of time.

[from trailer]

[the Muppets are sitting in jail]

Warden: Are you, uh, the Muppets?

Prisoner: [in the jail cell next to them] Hey! I'm a Muppet.

[first lines]

Warden: M-Mr. Cash? M-Mr. Cash?

Warden: If you disobey the rules of society, they send you to prison; if you disobey the rules of the prison, they send you to US. Alcatraz is not like any other prison in the United States. Here, every inmate is confined ALONE... to an individual cell. Unlike my predecessors, Wardens Johnson and Blackwell, I don't have good conduct programs, I do not have inmate counsels. Inmates here have no say in what they do; they do as they're told. You're not permitted to have newspapers or magazines carrying news; knowledge of the outside world is, ah, what we tell you. From this day on, your world will be everything that happens in this building.

Warden: Alcatraz was built to keep all the rotten eggs in one basket, and I was specially chosen to make sure that the stink from the basket does not escape. Since I've been warden, a few people have tried to escape. Most of them have been recaptured; those that haven't have been killed or drowned in the bay. No one has ever escaped from Alcatraz. And no one ever will!

Warden: [examining Frank's accordion] Been playing this thing long?

Frank Morris: Couple of months.

Warden: You any good?

Frank Morris: Terrible.

Warden: You'll get better. That's one of the benefits of Alcatraz - lots of time to practice.

Warden: Some men are destined never to leave Alcatraz... alive.

Warden: I want painting privileges taken away from Chester Dalton.

Warden: Eddie, when you were admitted here, I gave you a choice of two roads to take. You took the right one, and it got four months off your stretch for you. Now, will you let me advise you again?

Eddie Ellison: Certainly, sir.

Warden: Something kept up your morale while you were up here.

Eddie Ellison: You're a good guesser, Warden.

Warden: Well, whatever it was, stick to it outside. Have you got a job waiting for you?

Eddie Ellison: The biggest and best job a man ever had.

Warden: Good wages?

Eddie Ellison: Not a cent.

Warden: Well, but how - ?

Eddie Ellison: I've had a girl waiting for me for eighteen months.

Warden: Congratulations, my boy. The very best of luck.

Warden: [seeing Stan and Ollie for the first time]

[sadly]

Warden: My, my, and still they come. Let us begin with a perfect understanding. I am just as sorry to see you here as you are to be here. Keep one thing in mind, it all depends on you yourselves just how you're going to fare during your stay here. Never forget that this is a prison, and in a prison, all the rules must be obeyed. Discipline is the one thing that must be observed. If you are good prisoners, everything will be okay. If you're not, if you break the rules, then it will be just plain hell on Earth. Do you understand?

Stanley: Yes, sir.

[tooth buzzes]

Warden: [begins to go ballistic] Wha...!

Oliver: It was his tooth...

Warden: [shouts] Shut up, you! Put them in cell 14!

Prison Guard: But not in with The Tiger, sir.

Warden: [shouts] Put them in Cell 14! Get them out of here before I lose my temper!! Talking to the warden like that! A fine piece business. Convicts talking to the warden.

[shouts]

Warden: Why, I'll take those men, I'll break them! I'll put them in Cell 14. I don't care who's in there! What I'll do with them.

Prison Guard: We captured the Tiger and his gang. We got them right away. We caught them down by the old... quarry. And we took them without a shot. But, well, it's those two new fish. They got away. We lost sight of them. Why, they disappeared as if the earth had completely swallowed them.

Warden: Don't worry about those two babes in the woods. Use the bloodhounds. Those hounds never fail. Why they'll trail them so straight, it will be a cinch. Those hounds are ferocious. They're killers! Ha ha ha ha, I'd like to see their faces when they see those hounds. Now hop to it.

[last lines]

Warden: My boys, and you are my boys, I hold in my hand the pardons for both of you. This is the state's gesture in showing it's appreciation of your bravery. It was the firing of the signal shots in the mess hall that saved us from a disaster of cataclysmic dimensions.

[Stan and Ollie stare blankly; Warden hands them their pardons]

Oliver: Thank you, sir.

Warden: Now go, begin life a new. Forget this. Let this episode here be just a hiatus to be obliterated from your memory. And don't forget that I'm your friend. Anything that I can do to help you start where you left off, call on me at any time.

Oliver: Thank you.

[to Stan]

Oliver: We'll start all over again.

Stanley: We certainly will.

[to Warden]

Stanley: Can we take your order for a couple of cases?

[tooth buzzes]

Warden: Why you...!

[Stan and Ollie run from the office; screen fades to black; "THE END" appears on screen]

Warden: So they wanted a showdown, did they? They wanted a fight into a finish, did they? Well by the livin' Lucifer, THEY'RE GOING TO GET IT! Go on now, hop to it.

Warden: Did he write this himself?

Sing Sing Guard: Yes, sir.

Warden: Good handwriting.

Sing Sing Guard: He's not a bad guy.

[first lines]

Warden: In the power of the state I am hereby authorized put you, Lee Ray Oliver, to death by lethal injection. Is there anything you'd like to say?

Lee Ray Oliver: Fuck you! Fuck every last one of you!

Warden: [to Kent] And remember, this prison does not give a man a yellow streak, but if he has one, it brings it out.

Prison guard: If you don't open the gates and let 'em out, they're gonna kill all the guards beginning with Wallace.

Warden: I'll see 'em in Hell first. Let 'em have it!

Warden: You know what your trouble is, Serenghetti? You've seen too many bad prison movies.

Warden: Listen Doc, you just gotta see that this man lives. Do something. I've got to execute him tonight.

Warden: The patient that came in yesterday is having a fit.

Van Helsing: Which one?

Warden: The one that bit the cow.

Warden: Hate gets under a man's skin. It spoils his whole life. It's like a bad growth, kid. You got to get rid of it.

Warden: If I was to sink my teeth into your eye right now, would you be able to stop me before I blinded you?

Teddy Daniels: Give it a try.

Warden: That's the spirit.

Warden: Did you enjoy God's latest gift?

Teddy Daniels: What?

Warden: God's gift. Your violence.

[Daniels looks at him blankly]

Warden: When I came downstairs in my home, and I saw that tree in my living room, it reached out for me... a divine hand. God loves violence.

Teddy Daniels: I... I hadn't noticed.

Warden: Sure you have. Why else would there be so much of it? It's in us. It's what we are. We wage war, we burn sacrifices, and pillage and plunder and tear at the flesh of our brothers. And why? Because God gave us violence to wage in his honor.

Teddy Daniels: I thought God gave us moral order.

Warden: There's no moral order as pure as this storm. There's no moral order at all. There's just this: can my violence conquer yours?

Warden: You're as violent as they come. I know this, because I'm as violent as they come. If the constraints of society were lifted, and I was all that stood between you and a meal, you would crack my skull with a rock and eat my meaty parts. Wouldn't you?

Warden: [Leaning across the jeep to Teddy as he lets him out] If I was to sink my teeth into your eye right now, would you be able to stop me before I blinded you?

Teddy Daniels: [Wryly] Give it a try.

Warden: That's the spirit!

[He smiles]

Warden: Bridges, you Carlin boys, don't forget your tickets back to my little hotel

[throws their guns and gun belts on the ground]

Warden: Don't worry, they ain't loaded.

Stacey Bridges, Outlaw: What about our horses? We rode in here on three good animals.

Warden: What do you think you been eatin' the last six months.

[goes back in and closes the door]

Cole Carlin, Outlaw: Damn him! I didn't think I was eatin' my own horse! He's lying. That slop he fed us wasn't our horses. He stole 'em and sold 'em, that's what he done!

Stacey Bridges, Outlaw: Shut up!

[smiles]

Stacey Bridges, Outlaw: When we get to Lago, you can have the mayor's horse, fried or barbecued.