Walt Quotes in Crocodile Dundee II (1988)

Walt: You know, some people say that he talks to the animals. The aborigines call him Jabba-Jahda-Ah-Der-Ahd, which means The Crocodile Who Walks Like a Man.

Rico: [chuckles] If what you say is true, it's lucky we brought the Kryptonite.

Walt: Are you really enjoying that?

Diamond: [eating fire-roast bat] Nah - needs garlic.

Walt: You want me to lead them to Jaba Point?

Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe: [on TV after he crashes his girlfriend's car] Hey, Lena, I think we should start seeing other people!

Walt: [watching on TV with Lena] I think I'm in love.

Walt: What happened?

Lena: He locked me in the closet and left me to die.

Walt: [gasps] He's deranged!

Walt: Daddy what's gradual school?

T. S. Garp: What?

Walt: Gradual school. Mommy say's she teaches at gradual school.

T. S. Garp: Oh Gradual school is where you go to school and you gradually find out you don't want to go to school anymore.

[Walt puts on a pair of rubber gloves]

Nurse Tanya Peeler: What are those for?

Walt: You ever walked through a truck-stop men's room on your hands?

Walt: Don't you read the business section?

Hal: Why, what's up?

Walt: I just sold my company to Microsoft!

Hal: Yeah, you cleaned up?

Walt: Let's just say if I had an ass, I'd wipe it with twenties.

April: Can I ask you a personal question?

Walt: Nine inches.

April: [after surgery to separate the twins] Bob, you look good.

Walt: He looks good. What am I chopped liver?

April: Actually, yeah.

Walt: What's a three-letter word for man's best friend?

April: Tit?

Walt: No, I've tried that already.

Walt: She's got mace.

Walt: All right. Burgers on the house!

[everyone shouts "Yeah!"]

Bob: He's just kiddin', you cheap bastards.

Walt: Hey, Dave. How about another tall one?

Dave: Got it. How about you there, Bob?

Bob: No, no. No, I'm cool. I'm the designated walker tonight.

Walt: Christ Bob, you haven't been laid in five years.

Bob: Hey, how would you know?

[Walt gives him a serious look]

Bob: Damn.

Walt: Times up Casanever. Can I join you for a drink?

Bar Hottie: Sure.

Walt: Okay, what's your name?

Bar Hottie: Debbie.

[they shake hands]

Walt: Hi I'm Walt Tenor.

Bar Hottie: Nice to meet you.

Walt: Nice to meet you!

Walt: What's a four-letter word for snatch?

Bob: Grab.

Walt: Oh... right. Whoopsie.

[Walt and Bob are considering separation]

Walt: Think about it. You'll be able to read a book alone, play golf by yourself,

[whispering]

Walt: masturbate in private like the good Lord intended.

Bob: What are you talking about?

Walt: Oh, please, last night it was like trying to sleep next to a paint-shaker.

Walt: Are you kidding? You could win an humanitarian award for how nice you were to us.

Cher: Aww... no. Well, really, is there talk of me getting one?

Walt: No, no, it's just a figure of speech.

Morty O'Reilly: If you do this, you're committing career suicide.

Walt: That's what they said when Erik Estrada quit "CHiPS".

Morty O'Reilly: You're shitting me. He quit?

Walt: Boozing with Cher... boozing with Cher...

Walt: She'll be back. Where else is she gonna find a guy like you?

Bob: I don't know. Chernobyl?

Walt: I bet I left a big dent in your car, didn't I?

Bobby: Well, yes, but not as big as the one I'll have in my memory.

Bikini: Pity you don't get well educated like Willy the poet.

Walt: Cut the cackle.

Walt: He might be a bumpkin but he's still a bogie.

Walt: Starting with you brother Bikini - you're fixing the eats!

Walt: You know what women are like.

Lorenzo: Well we did, Brother Walt.

Walt: You must be dreaming if you think I'm dreaming. Don't you think I don't know a bit of plum duff when I see one.

Walt: It's him we've got to thank for being here.

[Walt points at a picture of Superintendent Mungo on wall]

Tall man on monastery tour: Your benefactor?

Walt: Yeah, he's a right... benefactor.

Walt: Brother Specks, you're bellboy, get the gen on them bellringing times.

Tall man on monastery tour: So encouraging to hear of all your hopes and plans.

Walt: Yes, we're stacked right up with hopes and plans.

Walt: She never knew that chips were made from tatters till she read that book on it.

Walt: You know the trouble with you lot - you're forgetting you're a bunch of hard-nuts, a team of pure villiams!

Mike Waters: Walt.

Walt: Yeah, Mike?

Mike Waters: You think, um, that you could spot me ten more dollars?

Walt: Ten dollars? What's the matter, you can't get it from your dad?

Mike Waters: My dad and I don't get along too well, you know that Walt.

Walt: We're not getting along that well either now, are we?

Mike Waters: No we don't get along too well... or else he wouldn't have gone out and drowned himself at Boxcar Canyon.

Walt: Again? He hit the water this time?

Mike Waters: He survived the first time, this time...

Walt: Oh, God.

Mike Waters: You're the only one I can ask, you know that Walt! Please! I'll owe you a date, how about that? I'll owe you a date. Pleeeeeeeease.

Walt: Oh God, tears crying, hold on. Here you go.

[slides money under the door]

Mike Waters: Thanks!

Walt: I thought you were afraid of heights.

Travis: I'm not afraid of heights. I'm afraid of fallin'.

Walt: We live in the suburbs, but I've got my business in town

Travis: Oh yeah? What's your business?

Walt: I make billboard signs for advertising.

Travis: Oh yeah? So *you*'re the one who makes those signs, I love those. Some of them are beautiful.

Walt: I'm not the only one who makes them, Trav.

Walt: You put em' in your ear at night. They dissolve. You sleep naturally. You take em' nightly. And by the morning you've had the dream of a lifetime.