Vogel Quotes in Winter Break (2003)

Carter Boyd: Hey listen, can you drop me into town? I'm supposed to meet this guy that I work with for coffee.

Michelle Casper: Yeah.

Carter Boyd: Great.

Peter Rothner: Who, Sergei?

Carter Boyd: Yeah...

[everybody chuckles]

Carter Boyd: ... what?

Tyler Woods: Did he, uh, ask you out for coffee?

Carter Boyd: Yeah, so what's your deal?

Michelle Casper: Oh come on, you should tell him.

Carter Boyd: Tell me what?

Peter Rothner: Nothing dude, forget it. Forget it!

Carter Boyd: What!

Vogel: He's gay dude!

Cary: Do you know how I'd like to spend my last moment on earth? Curled up in bed with you. My arms around your chest, pressed up against your back, my lips on your skin as I say my last goodbye. What will you say to that?

Vogel: Yugh! I'm being hugged by a corpse!

Cary: I say we sleep here tonight and head out on our own again in the morning.

Vogel: What, and just leave him?

Cary: We just met the guy. It's not like we're gonna follow him on Twitter.

Cary: What is that?

Vogel: Sounds like Carnie Wilson with a plate of chicken wings.

[a vampire licks the window]

Vogel: That's wrong on so many levels!

Cary: Why don't they just break through the window?

Vogel: Zombies are too weak.

Cary: They're not zombies. Zombies don't run.

Vogel: What about in Dawn of the Dead?

Cary: The zombies didn't run in Dawn of the Dead.

Vogel: The remake.

Cary: Phfft! The remake!

Vogel: I know... the original had subtext. You know what else the original had? Blue zombies! You have to admit, the first ten minutes of the remake were...

Cary: Hey, how much did you pay to see the remake? Twelve bucks? Kind of expensive for ten good minutes, huh?

Cary: Careful, it's slippery.

Vogel: It's like the back room at the ManCave in here. Remember that?

Cary: That wasn't me.

Vogel: That's a really photographic pile of junk, Cary.

Cary: I suppose you'd like it better if it wore a speedo.

Vogel: Everything looks better in a speedo.

Vogel: What I don't get is with all these sucker fuckers around, why did only one vampire attack the mechanic? Why didn't they gang-fang him like they did McDougall?

[the vampire mechanic grabs Cary's phone]

Vogel: What are you doing?

The Mechanic: You Tube.

Brewster: Don't move! If you run, I'll find you and when I do, I'll make it hurt!

Vogel: So what, you're evil now? I mean, you were a jerk before, but you weren't acting like some b-movie bad guy. Is that what dying does to you? Turn you into a twat?

Cary: They're vampires!

Vogel: Or atheists!

Vogel: C'mon, toothy! Take a bite! Who's your dentist!

Vogel: C'mon, fanghead! I'm juicy!

Vogel: It's hot. I'm getting sticky in my pants.

Cary: That always was your trouble.

Vogel: That's always been YOUR trouble.

Cary: Ha!

Vogel: I am what I am and you love it.

Cary: Do you know what my biggest fantasy is?

Vogel: That thing with the carrot?

Cary: Let me rephrase the question.

Brewster: Cary? Isn't that a girl's name?

Cary: Different spelling.

Brewster: Right! How often do you have to spell it?

Cary: There are lots of guys named Cary.

Brewster: Name one.

Vogel: Cary Grant

Brewster: Name another.

Cary: Cary Elwes.

Brewster: Who the fuck is Cary Elwes?

Cary: Hello? Princess Bride!

Vogel: That's your flashlight? You couldn't give a hamster a colonoscopy with that!

Cary: We're hiking cross-country, not going spelunking.

Cary: I love you.

Vogel: Me too.

Brewster: What's happening?

Vogel: Oh, not much. We're just trapped inside your truck with monster central outside. How are things with you, Mr. Seizure?

[there are vampires outside the truck]

Cary: They might not be able to get in anyway, without being invited.

Vogel: That didn't work in The Return of Count Yorga.

Cary: Of course not, that was American International.

Vogel: So?

Cary: So each movie makes its own rules. None of it is grounded in reality.

Vogel: I saw one get killed by a bolt of lightning in Scars of Dracula.

Cary: Now, that is just stupid.

Brewster: If either of you mentions Twilight, I'll throw ya out the cab!

[Brewster talks into the C.B. microphone]

Brewster: Breaker, breaker, this is... This is red rocket. Anybody copy?

Vogel: Red rocket?

Brewster: Shut up.

Vogel: If you see anything with pointy teeth and a 38-inch chest, yell out.

Vogel: Down for the count... Count.

Cary: Who'd you kill?

Vogel: The mechanic!

Cary: Oh, right. He was a vampire, wasn't he?

Vogel: Can vampires make you shit your pants? Cuz I think I'm about to!

Vogel: Will you still love me if I have black eyes and fangs?

Cary: Are you kidding? Have you seen yourself after five appletinis?

Vogel: Man, think of all the hits I'd get if this was on You Tube!

Vogel: I hate closet-cases! Even dead ones!

Vogel: Burning vampire smells like a flaming bag of spicy dog shit.

Vogel: Between shooting two men six feet away and hitting a target at 100 feet there's a certain difference. It's the difference between an amateur and a professional. And, despite all appearances, I'm not professional.