Vladimir Wolodarsky Quotes in The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004)

Jane Winslett-Richardson: May I turn this on?

Steve Zissou: [bites into an apple] Fire one.

Jane Winslett-Richardson: [Jane begins recording the interview] So what happened, in your opinion?

Steve Zissou: [swallows the bite] ... what're you talking about?

Jane Winslett-Richardson: Well, don't you think the public perception of your work has significantly altered in the last five years?

Steve Zissou: That's your first question? I thought this was supposed to be a puff piece.

Jane Winslett-Richardson: ...should we come back to it?

Steve Zissou: ...yeah.

Jane Winslett-Richardson: Okay... Is it true that this is going to be your last voyage?

Steve Zissou: Wow... no comment. Who told you that? No, goddamnit, I'm... only 52. How-how 'bout we start out with some stock dialogue? Favorite color, blue? Favorite food, sardines?

Jane Winslett-Richardson: How do you feel about part one of your new film?

Steve Zissou: Why? How do you feel about part one of my new film?

Jane Winslett-Richardson: Well, I'm honest. You know, so...

Steve Zissou: Just say it!

Jane Winslett-Richardson: I thought aspects of it seemed slightly fake.

Steve Zissou: [pauses, obviously enraged] ... Wolodarsky?...

Vladimir Wolodarsky: [getting up to leave, gathering the cat] ... I'll take five, Steve.

Steve Zissou: ...how 'bout taking five?

[the door closes]

Steve Zissou: ... did it seem fake... when my best friend was bitten in half right in front of me? And eaten alive, screaming? I think you're a fake. I think you're a phony. And a bad reporter. How does that feel? And tell me something -

[Steve pulls out a glock and points it at her, cocking it]

Steve Zissou: Does this seem fake?

[He replaces the glock]

Jane Winslett-Richardson: ...how dare you! This entire article was my idea, no one else gives a shit!

Steve Zissou: What about Sy Perlman?

Jane Winslett-Richardson: [scoffs, and turns off the recorder] Are you joking? He's not even covering my expenses!

Steve Zissou: [pauses for a moment, realizing] You're taking something out on me.

Jane Winslett-Richardson: [turns off the recorder again, turns away and cries]

Steve Zissou: Wh? Stop crying, what's the deal here? I was only trying to defend myself.

Jane Winslett-Richardson: Well, you did a great job! I'm sure you'll make a terrific father.

[while robbing Alistair Hennessey's underwater sea-lab]

Vladimir Wolodarsky: Steve, one of the interns just fell down the stairs with the main tracking processor.

Steve Zissou: All right, just make sure we steal the backup.

Vladimir Wolodarsky: [talking about Jane] I like her hairdo.

Pelé dos Santos: Me too, but Steve called her first.